Judgement Call
by gryffen1
Summary: Set a few months after A Shadow Darkly - fourth in the Mac series Spike and Mac are moving forward as a couple and surprises are in store, some sweet and some sour that affect her and Spike in ways they never thought would happen. As they are supported by family, Mac is bombarded with a double tragedy that has her making a judgment call to go back to a warzone to fufill a promise.
1. Chapter 1

Judgment call

I was standing talking to Jules at the main desk when a man came walking down the stairs and whistled to us, we both turned around and smiled widely as he walked up to us both at the desk and grinned as he smelled the home brew coffee we were drinking.

"Hey boss, wondering when you were due to come back!" Jules whispered getting a hug.

He grinned at her and I gave him a massive hug too, he was looking well rested and had courageously beaten off the dreaded pneumonia in under a month; I nearly killed him that day when he came into work obviously sick and refused to go home.

**Five weeks ago**

He had come in at 1pm for a 3pm start, he was stiff moving and I could hear the short breath sounds before he even got into the building, he looked worse twenty minutes later after getting changed into his gear and I had to step in for his own safety. I walked up to him and grabbed his arm, dragging him to the medical room and getting him to sit down, he tried getting up and I shoved him gently back onto the seat where he coughed – badly.

"Okay buster, open wide or do I need to do this the hard way?" I said showing him the thermometer.

He looked at me and then opened his mouth as I slid it under his tongue and took his arm to do blood pressure checks, just by feeling his arm I knew he had a high temp and he would be off duty today or very minimum duties in the truck; I checked his BP and pulse, a little steady, I looked at him and he stopped his sniper breathing – ooft!

"Alright Ed, two choices; home or truck duty?" I said marking his notes down.

He shook his head and flinched; I raised my brow at him and crossed my arms.

"You don't get to do this Ed, home or truck duty – that is your options!"

"I am fine, it's a stupid cold Clark gave everyone and I'm a little loaded with it – I swear I will be good and take it easy in the truck or perch as required!" he wheezed.

I looked at him, his big blue eyes pleading at me and I rolled my eyes at the wobbly lip.

"Okay, truck duty it is then, but right now you need some paracetamol and your restricted in the gym – should give you time to get up to date with all those files I have been asking for?" I replied stripping off the BP cuff.

Five minutes later I had him drinking some hot lemonade with paracetamol mixed in and he shuffled off to the briefing room to get on with the paperwork request he had been putting off for the last few days. I got cleaned up and headed to the boss who was coming along the corridor from doing some filing, I stepped into sync with him and showed him Ed's risk assessment – his eyebrows nearly hit the roof.

"He came in feeling like this?" he hissed.

"Yeah, and he refuses to go home so I have restricted his movements and placed him on basic duties in the truck, I'm monitoring it and if it's worse by lunchtime then he is away home or the hospital depending on his temp," I ordered.

"Copy that! Clark had a really bad cold, think this is the same thing?" he asked.

"I've got swabs and I'm going to run them now, could be walking pneumonia and if it is, he's going to hospital for treatment," I replied.

He nodded and I headed to the briefing room to catch up on paperwork myself and keep an eye on the walking, and coughing, team leader.

An hour later we were running to the locker to get organised for the hot call that had just been called over the PA system, wasn't a call code I was familiar with and I jumped into the SUV after loading up the back with our weapons.

"Boss, newbie questions…" I started as we pulled onto the main highway.

"It's a bomb call, possible landmine," whispered Wordy who was riding with me.

I closed my eyes for a second and thanked every deity I could think of that Spike wasn't on duty today, this would have been torture for him so close to Lew's anniversary. Wordy had caught my tension level rise and clipped off my headset; I looked at him and gave a quick smile as we took the off-ramp onto Yonge and Victoria.

"You alright?" he whispered.

"Being selfish and thankful Spike isn't here," I replied honestly.

I clicked my headset back on and followed the truck and other SUVs along the road to the barriers that had been set up by the fire units and the EOD guys who were already on scene; we climbed out and loaded our weapons out as I clicked in with the head EOD guy who was making his way over to me.

"Officer Fraser, good to see you again!" he called as I took his hand.

"Master Chief Harris, we really need to stop meeting like this!" I replied grinning.

The first time we had met was during EOD training with Spike about a month into joining the SRU, everyone had to have minimum training on every aspect of the job and its possible incidents – since IEDs were no stranger to me, and not either of our best friends, Spike and me had bonded over another job aspect and shared Intel. The MC had discovered I was military through the checks and discovered my 'personal history' with the working end of improvised explosive devices. I brought him over to the rest of my team and got them introduced so he could give us an update on what has been discovered so far.

"It was definitely a landmine, a frag chain to be exact! We've made it safe and removed the explosive component but we have another issue we need Fraser's help with."

"Mine, what can I do?" I asked surprised.

"The explosive contains a vial of what we think is HCN that will be sparked into the air once the pin is released on the trip wire. Since there is no explosive there to spread the chemical over large distances, we need to do it manually and we have been told to stand down by Hazmat. They are aware you have your training and experiences in the military means they want someone there to supervise the disbarment process, Hazmat and Decon are standing by with supplies ready for us, it's your call."

I stood there and groaned – why the hell did it have to be a frag chain?

"Who the hell builds a frag chain into a building?" Sam called angrily.

"What the hell is a frag chain?" demanded Wordy.

"A set of three mines connected by a single wire to a main trip, once that is broken the pins are released and, well it's not pretty!" Sam replied.

"Okay, so same question as before, who could and would build one in a building?"

"Someone who knows what they are doing; my guess would be a military background or black-market lone wolf with some serious postal issues!" Harris replied.

"Yeah, frag chain though, that's some serious skill; we even didn't see many of them in the field Sam! Has every other area been secured and are you sure it's HCN?" I replied.

"What's this HCN you keep talking about?" Parker inquired.

"Hydrogen Cyanide," I replied.

Everyone immediately groaned, we had watched Skyfall a few days ago and I explained to them the effects of cyanide as they didn't believe it could cause the bad guys face to basically melt!

"Yeah, smell of almonds in the place is overpowering, we evacuated shortly after disarment and one of my guys has been on oxygen since then to recover; that's why Hazmat wants someone with your experience to go in – you're the chemical weapon's expert on site!"

"No I'm the girl who knows bio-terrorism and the periodic table like the back of her hand, I know nothing about landmines and the HCN needs Micrafoam to be neutralized safely." I corrected.

"HCN is both chemical and biological in use, Hazmat requested you're assistance due to the danger involved to the public if these vials are released – it's an unofficial order!" Harris replied.

I stared up at him and mentally checked the list of what I would need, how to use it and what could possibly go wrong. Parker came back over with Ed after a short discussion with the leaders of Fire and Rescue, we got them up to speed and both of them were silent; seconds later they unleashed hell.

"No way in hell is she going up there if there are active bombs in the building, chemical or not; Hazmat have specialist teams to work with EOD, why are they not here?" Ed wheezed out.

"Training, they won't get here for another hour at least – I pulled out of it due to Spike needing the day off. Boss, the explosives have been removed and contained outside of the building, all I am required to do is use the neutralizer on the canisters then we walk out and let Hazmat do its thing – twenty minutes work at the maximum and the area is completely secure." I replied.

"Too risky, can't we send it robotic help?" Jules asked.

"No, the foam canister is thumb based, Babycakes couldn't control its spread and I would be dead if she got hurt!" I replied trying to make a small joke.

I got looked at by the team and I raised my hand up in apology for the joke. I was looking at the details the MC had brought on the pad and a colleague was showing me exactly what had been found and the chemical markers for the vials; it was HCN and I got Jules to go run me a trace on the chemical signature for the HCN batch.

"Sergeant Parker, I know this is not ideal, I'm pissed off too and would never ask anyone to do my job for me; but SOP for this scenario is one tech from EOD and another from HM and they are waiting for us to begin the process – it's your call." He said gently.

I looked at Parker and the rest of the team, I knew they were thinking about Lew and my heart went out to them; but this was different and there were no active explosives within that building to cause anyone any harm.

"Guys, I need you to snap out of this line of thinking and focus on me for a second! Good – now I know it's close to the anniversary, but I trust Harris with my life and all I need to do is spray some foam onto canisters. There are no active explosives within those building, no other landmines and no other IEDs – this is my job – this is what you hired me for!" I whispered to them in a small circle.

They all looked at me and then each other.

"Harris, you are positive there are NO active explosives?" Parker asked.

"Yes, all she needs to do is point and spray," he replied firmly.

He looked at me and nodded.

I ran to the truck and pulled out my gloves and mask from my HM bag, they were the ones I brought from the military and have saved my life many times when it came to chemical or biological contaminates. I secured my weapon in the back of the truck and grabbed the canisters of foam and headed back over to the group assembled.

"I'll get you secure onto the floor and provide cover in case this lunatic is still kicking about somewhere," wheezed out Ed.

"No chance boss, your lungs can barely work now and you want to come into contact with HCN and micrafoam?" I ordered back to Ed.

"That's the rules or you don't go, do I need gloves?" he demanded.

I handed him a spare mask and gloves, since he wasn't handling anything he was secure to wear minimum protection as long as he stayed away from us as we left the building. The MC came over to us again and nodded that we needed to go.

"Ed, you stay out of the room and keep to the stairs, if we tell you to leave, you leave – is that clearly understood?" I demanded as we crossed the road.

"Copied!" he replied.

It took us twenty minutes to climb all ten flights of stairs due to the wreckage the EOD guys had caused by pulling out walls and floorboards in their search, I could hear Ed progressively get worse and text Jules to get my test results from the barn from Winnie, she acknowledged it and told me that the beer was on her tonight!

"One more flight guys, Ed – stay!" I ordered.

He looked at me and I winced realising how that order sounded, I swear I could hear the pranks coming with dog leashes! We got to the top of the stairs and I could hear Ed coughing in the background and told him to put on his mask and relax his chest muscles. Harris took me over to the row of landmines that had been disabled from the explosives, three in a row, all connected on the left side to a trip wire that was ready for pulling once we removed it from the ground for spraying.

"Alright, what I am going to do is lift it up, pull the wire and five seconds later the vial will activate," he started.

"I then empty the canister onto the vials and once the HCN has been neutralized we can transport it in your little box!" I finished.

"Go careful guys," Parker said over the radio.

"Copy that boss!" we all replied.

On the count of three Harris picked up the first container and pulled the pin, I pulled the trigger and emptied the canister of micrafoam and heard the crackling of the HCN being destroyed – even through the masks we were wearing, our eyes were still tearing up and the smell of almonds was incredibly strong and making us gag.

"One down," I called through the radio.

"Copied" replied Wordy.

We completed the same manoeuvre once more and again the release of even the smallest amount of HCN into the enclosed room had us backing off and hacking up, since the risk of exposure was still too high until the HM unit came into the building, we couldn't smash any windows and get circulation going.

"Two down, one to go!" I stated as I pulled off my mask to clear my mouth.

I could hear the team pacing about outside as they heard us retching in the room, I could hear Parker talk to EMS and they were ready with active charcoal drinks if needed to help neutralize any containment. I cleared with Ed and Harris and we moved onto the last part of the frag chain and safely made in secure for transport; Harris contained the three IEDs and headed off down the corridor at speed with his unit and called up to me at the bottom of the stairs.

"MAC – GET DOWN HERE NOW!"

I shot out of the room like a banshee and saw him kneeling beside Ed who was struggling to breathe, I checked his pulse and respiration and they were really low, his temperature was sky high again and I knew immediately that it was pneumonia.

"I'll get EMS to the bottom of the cordon line, I need to get these secure!" he called as he lifted the bomb containment unit.

I nodded and shook Ed, I unzipped his vest and he took in a strangled gasp and sat up straighter before coughing again; he looked at me and I checked his reflexes before pulling him up on his knees – his breathing was too shallow and it sounded like fluid on the lungs.

"Mac – speak to me – what's going on?" a voice demanded.

"Ed just got a lot worse! Have EMS at the cordon with oxygen and barbs!" I replied.

"I'll send them up!" he replied.

"No – the HCN is too strong up here; I'll get Ed down and meet at the cordon!"

I gave Ed a gentle slap across the face and pulled him up to my level, thank god for those drills on pulling the heaviest member in the team. I grabbed his vest hook and slid his feet into some wrap I found and started to drag him down the stairs at the best speed I could manage without killing myself; these guys really needed to lay off the baking! I got to the fourth floor and needed to get Ed onto his feet so he could get over the mess and give his lungs a small workout to keep his oxygen levels going. I shook him awake and he mumbled as I pulled him to his feet, he managed a few steps and then got dragged down as he slipped on some wet tiles and we landed on the wood pile; I shoved him onto his unsteady knees and gasped as I saw my hand – great!

"Alright buddy, on your feet Edward Tucker Lane or I swear to god that you will be giving the sex education lecture to every female in a five mile radius and be the new poster boy for safe sex on the town!" I yelled at him.

He managed to snap out of the delirium he was in and got to his wobbly feet, I helped him over the piles of wood in the next three floors and we half fell down the last set of stairs onto the sandbags. I dragged him out of the building and along the alleyway and yelled EMS over who took charge of him under my medical orders and whisked him to the nearest hospital as I collapsed onto the ground and lay still for a few moments to catch my own breath.

"Mac, are you injured?" voices shouted in my ear.

I stuck my thumb out and closed my eyes as my lungs burned carrying him down the stairs and my knees were officially knocking together after the workout I just had. Two sets of hands pulled me up by the arms and I gasped as Wordy took my wrist and led me over to the ambulance so I could get checked out after the fall down ten marble stairs.


	2. Chapter 2

A few minutes later I was drinking a charcoal smoothy and brushing my teeth at the same time since the little bits of charcoal got stuck and annoyed the hell out of me, Wordy came back over to me with Steve and Jules and I waved as I spat out the toothpaste.

"Yeah, black teeth not a good look for you Highlander!" Jules whispered.

I grinned and they laughed as I went back to brushing, they gave me a small update on Ed and Harris came over to thank me for the help and that he owed me a big cookie – I nodded and indicated the size he owed me – good thing his wife was a baker!

"Alright, wound on the hand has been cleaned and wrapped, back to the barn for debrief and then hopefully we go to the Goose tonight when Spike gets back – he's going to want to hear about this!" Parker said walking up to me.

"After I check in on Ed boss!" I replied sitting up.

He nodded and I headed off with a run to the SUVs and made my way along to St. Mike's Hospital and found the trauma desk nurse who pointed the way to the room where Ed had been taken. I knocked on the door and walked in to find Ed lying on the bed with an oxygen mask over his face and three IVs stuck in his hand, he didn't look happy but I shook my head in his direction and sighed.

"You are a stubborn pain in the ass – light duties mean that you have no physical exertions or heavy lifting! How do you feel?"

"Like my chest is being squashed by an elephant, what happened?" he whispered as I looked at his chart.

I shifted my holster lightly and sat on the edge of the bed near his hip, I smelled strongly of the HCN and that was after getting sprayed down, I didn't need him to start coughing because it was too strong for his lungs to deal with.

"Well according to your chart and the tests I did earlier, you had walking pneumonia and now have full blown pneumonia! Your lungs are slightly damp and the meds they will be giving you soon will help with the pressure and breathing; the nebulizer on your face will soothe the spasms. As for the other bumps and bruises – had to drag you down some stairs, you're going to be a little tender!" I replied.

He took my wrist and tried to sit up, I pushed him back down and tightened the band on the mask around his face, I patted his hand and taped over the cannulas so he wouldn't pull them out by accident, or deliberately. He frowned when he saw my hand wrapped up and then his eyes hit mine and he coughed trying to sit back up, I rolled my eyes and pushed him back down and showed him the restraints.

"Your hand…you…hurt…because….of…me!" he coughed.

"Ed its fine, no lasting damage to anyone; right now you need to rest and I can hear Sophie talking to the doctor outside so I'm going to get her in here and let her moan at you for a bit alright!" I said patting his hand and smiling.

I straightened the holster again and headed out the room to see the doctor and Sophie talking about the treatment plan, she took my hand and I winked at them both; she smiled and shook her head as she saw my hand and after a quick hug, I sent her in.

"You due a tetanus booster?" the doctor asked checking my hand later.

"Yeah, better safe than sorry!" I replied.

Ten minutes later I was walking back to the SUV and my phone was going off the hook, it was the boss who needed me back at the station for debrief and to get the reports done for Halloran and HM; I confirmed the request and started the ignition up before smiling at the song on the radio.

Two hours later after the debrief and report writing for everything that had happened, we were sitting back in the briefing room having some lunch and laughing as I told them about the first time I had to do a manual extraction under fire, I didn't know who was more terrified, me or the patient? I went on about how he was screaming and yelling as I yanked him across the sand and his ass was getting burnt by the scalding surface – Sam was in hysterics since he was there that day and had to supervise the treatment of the 'delicate burns'.

"Oh man, you dragged his naked ass about 200 metres and he screamed all the way there, think he frightened the enemy off for us!" he replied wiping his eyes.

"Yeah, thankfully we had ice spray…" I started before we all cracked up again.

We were all laughing and I reached over for the bottle of juice on the table with my wrong hand, I flinched and pulled back shaking off the ache; Wordy had caught the action and frowned, I waved him off and checked the bandage for any blood.

"How's the hand?" he asked gently.

"A little tender but all good, thankfully it's not my trigger hand!" I replied winking.

I had just put everyone's rubbish into the bin when I heard a collection of gasps and muffled laughter, I turned around and found myself faced with a member of the Embassy guard in full highland kit. I grinned and headed over to where Winnie and Jules were staring at him, mouths open and quite obviously checking him out.

"Captain, can I help you?" I asked as he looked at me.

"Corporal Fraser, yes I have a delivery for you from Dundee, they asked me to bring it to you before I headed on duty." He replied kindly.

I smiled and rolled my eyes at the two women leaning over the counter looking at his uniform, he winked and I saluted to him before he headed back through the entrance and into his embassy car. I took the clothes bag to the locker room and headed back out moments later to see everyone looking at me, the men was holding back laughter and the girls were still staring at me with lust in their eyes.

"What?" I asked shrugging my shoulders.

"Mackenzie who was that," asked Jules.

"Roll the tongues back in ladies, he's married and has four kids!" I replied laughing.

"Aww!" they both exclaimed.

I chuckled to myself and headed to the weapons range with Sam who was growling over Jules tripping over her own tongue as the Captain had walked in; I rolled my eyes and offered him odds on who would be the better shot in the range.

After a quiet couple of hours patrolling the city streets we headed back to the barn and discovered Spike had landed earlier than expected and came to the barn to see everyone; it had been two weeks since we had last seen him due to his EOD training and we grabbed some hidden supplies and headed to the briefing room for a good chat and what everyone had been up to since he had been gone. He sat there and listened to today's events and his whole body was tense as hell, everyone could see it and I had taken his hand under the table and tapped out a steady pulse for him; his pulse loosely followed it and he ran his fingers over his face as he looked at me.

"Doing my job Spike comes with the risks we face every day on call!" I said gently.

"Yeah I know, timing sucks that's all!" he replied.

"Alright guys, team three is in – let's get organised and get to the Goose for family time!" Parker called as he saw Spike needed a moment.

I headed out the room and motioned to Spike with my chin; Parker caught the look and gently nodded as I left them in peace to talk.

Twenty minutes later I came out the locker room to see Spike leaning against the wall waiting for me, he looked tired but we agreed to go for a couple of drinks before heading home; I would drive since being on antibiotics and he could relax with the team. He took my hand and smiled, I knew instantly that the chat with the boss had helped him deal with some of the emotions he had felt during debrief of today's events, the rest I would deal with at home. I leaned in to kiss him and gave him a big hug; I grinned as he whispered into my ear and flushed bright red at his suggestive comments.

"One nightcap and then we are going home – two weeks and you're going to need a wheelbarrow!" I whispered biting his ear.

"OH GOD – GUYS THEY ARE ALL MUSHY AGAIN!" shouted Wordy.

We turned around and laughed as he was covering his eyes and pretending to hurl into the bin, both of us flushed pink in the ears; after another quick shove towards the door we headed towards the Goose in our cars.


	3. Chapter 3

Hours later we were against the wall in the hallway trying to catch our breaths after a spontaneous moment of lust, he let me down onto my feet gently and we held each other up as we chuckled and he locked the door; I pulled off my bag and jacket and pulled him upstairs to continue where we had started in the car and within moments of hitting the bedroom, he was ripping off the rest of our clothes and shoving me on the bed. I pulled him onto his back and kissed down his chest, abs and lower, he moaned as I took him in my mouth and teased him, he was clawing his fingers into my hair and pulled me up suddenly for a deep kiss. I chuckled as he rolled over and slid right inside me, I raised my knees up and locked my legs around his waist as he thrust harder and harder into me; I cried out as he hit my g-spot repeatedly and I dug my nails into his back and bit into his neck as we both went over the edge and cried out – this was our emotional rescue after days like this – hot crazy and very passionate sex.

My alarm went off at 5am and I woke up to find a pair of brown eyes looking at me, we were both lying upside down on the bed and tangled up in bathrobe ties that had been hastily undone as we fell asleep. I smiled and leaned in for a kiss, he grabbed me and we rolled over and off the bed laughing. An hour later we pulled up to the station and walked in laughing at the text Clark had sent Spike yesterday of Ed lying in hospital doped up to his eyeballs on medication, I could sense the pranks Spike was coming up with and shook my head as he typed to Clark to get things ready. We split up and headed to get changed for workouts when we got a shout out by Keira who was still on shift.

"Team one hot call – Zulu Nine Zulu at Pearson's!"

"Team gear up!" shouted Parker coming out the gym.

Five minutes later we were suited and booted for action and getting our gear from the locker and making our way to the garage, we had everything portable with us and Spike jumped in with me as I drove the SUV so he could contact the airport and get control to give us access to their systems. I was focused on the road due to the weird weather we were having recently that was causing some illness issues within the SRU – Jules had called in sick this morning with a high temp and sickness, I had called her back to check up on her and she was sounding bad. I looked at the sky and saw sunshine but it was blowing a blizzard too – global warming at its best!

"Alright guys, control has made contact with the pilots and they are secure, minimum of two subjects in the seating area where 110 hostages are being kept at gunpoint. The pilots cannot see anything and no shots have been fired so far; Sam you're in charge of tactical and since we are two teammates down, it's going to be a stretched operation until I can get back up from team three." Parker called over the radio.

"Copied," we all replied.

We parked up outside the main control building and made our way upstairs with our gear and cleared the control room of everyone but the airport director, Spike got on the computers immediately and I stood with Parker overlooking the full view of the plane that was sitting on the tarmac about 500 meters away.

"Shutters are down and I can see the pilots, looks like they are safe in the cockpit for the time being, no eyes on the subjects," I said aloud to Parker.

He nodded and Spike let us know that he had accessed the airports security cameras and was working on the internal systems for the flight manifest so we could see who the passengers were and if there could be any leads through them. A few seconds later Winnie called through the radio and alerted us to 911 from inside the plane, it was the subjects inside and they wanted to speak to the decision maker in control. I grabbed my pen and paper and listened in to the call with closed eyes so I could hear for any tone shift, background noise during the call – anything to give us an edge. I wrote a few notes for Parker on what I heard and he nodded at the main one I had written – the man he was talking to sounded like he was being talked to by another male subject, most likely an accomplice. We finally managed to get a name from him and his main demand – we all looked at Parker as he demanded a federal prisoner to be released.

"You have my cell number; contact me when our demands are being met!"

The man hung up and Spike was busy doing a background search on the individual requested, just by the look of the file we knew it wasn't going to be good news if he wasn't released or at least brought to the airport.

"Cairn Matthews is a 38 year old leader of the Independence Community Unity, he was arrested after a raid on private property by local sheriffs in Scarborough several years ago – he shot a cop boss!" he alerted us.

"Yeah I remember that case, they claim that the police entered private property and they had a right to defend themselves and their families; the raid happened really early in the morning and people were hurt – seems they have major trust issues with the police!"

I was reading the file on the incident and it looked rushed from my point of view, all hard tactical with no negotiation and several women and children had been injured by flash and smoke grenades and the resulting fires – I couldn't blame them for their lack of trust.

The head of the airport was shaking his head as he saw what was coming, we needed answers or at least some inside information and the best way to do so was to get it from Matthews at the source, or bring him here for questioning.

"Boss, if I drive like mad I can get to the SCF and question him, find out what we need to know? Sam is on tactical entry options as we speak and you and Spike can't leave." I chipped into the conversation.

"No, I'm going to need you in tactical Mac, can we send team three to pick Matthews up from correctional and escort him here – least then we have a secondary response?" Wordy said as he checked out the plane from the roof.

Parker contacted Troy in team three and ordered them to the Scarborough Correctional Facility to get Matthews released into their custody; I looked to Spike as Parker made the call to the Feds regarding Matthews and sat beside him as he showed me the plans of the plane and discussed possible entry points; without more details from inside the plane it was a logistical nightmare – we needed to reduce the amount of hostages. Five minutes later the boss came back into the room and let us knows that Matthews would be released into his custody but would not be allowed to leave the ground, it was a binding order due to the charges against him and his sentence being for life.

"Okay, I need tactical entry options here – what have you got so far?"

"Without eyes, not much boss; too many variables due to hostages – can we get their numbers down while I take everyone but Spike to the hanger?" Sam replied.

"I can text Troy to get a photo of Matthews, possible bargaining chip for a hostage release if they see that we are willing to show good faith? Might just give you that edge boss, maybe when Matthews arrives I can go question him – might be more receptive to a female?"

"Sounds like a plan for the moment. Sam, take who you need and I'll send Mac over ASAP after talking to Matthews when he arrives."

After twenty minutes of talking to the inside man who we now knew to be called David McAdams, Parker managed to get him to agree to 50 hostages being released; I high fived Spike and got Troy and Viktor from the other team to manage the stairs at the plane and escort the hostages to the second hanger for EMS to deal with.

"Mac you're Sierra – go grab your gear and come with me to the roof to overlook the release."

I nodded and grabbed my gear from under the table and followed him up to the roof viewing platform and set up my rifle, it was a clear day and I focused on the stairs coming towards the plane and saw the main door opening. I focused on the dark hole and saw my mark, no clear shot though unless he comes out the plane.

"What do you see inside the plane?"

"Confirmed two subjects, make those four subjects! Three men and one female, all carrying handguns; passengers have been selected and herded into the front of the plane." I replied.

He brought out his SAT phone again and dialled the number for David as I kept watch on what was going on at the doorway; the boss said the stairs are now cleared for the passengers and he sent the photo to him via MMS – moments later the passengers came quickly down the stairs. I counted the numbers off and as we got higher I sensed the disruption within the plane, a small flash and I was calling to the boss.

"SHOTS FIRED!"

Parker had the spotters up to his eyes and we watched as the back hatch was opened and a body was dropped onto the tarmac, I zoomed in on the body and confirmed death by GSW to the head; I then heard Sam call on me to get my ass to the hanger for tactical entry options. I looked up to Parker and after putting away my rifle I made a run at the stairs and down towards the secondary hanger to find the guys doing sterile area on the front and rear of an exact replica of the plane. I let Sam and Wordy finish with their markers and then joined them at the base of the cockpit to formulate some kind of plan of attack.

Ten minutes later we headed back to the main hanger and met up with Troy who was holding Matthews for me to speak too, I nodded in thanks and brought him over to the SUVs and got him to sit in the back. He explained to me the hate of the cops, the injuries caused by the sheriffs raid and the hatred he had of the 'occupying forces' into his sanctuary; I was making mental notes and the whole thing sounded botched, Spike had said the same thing and had done some digging for me – it was a rush raid by an over eager sheriff and his Captain filled us in on the 'missing details'.

"Eight people dead – three of them kids – any wonders why we hate the police?" he demanded.

"I can't apologise for the actions of others but I can only tell you my team does not operate like that! We want a peaceful solution to this and quickly before anyone else gets hurt!" I replied calmly.

Within the next ten minutes all hell was breaking out on the plane with a hostage being threatened to be killed in twenty minutes if Matthews was not released onto the plane, I got the nod from Sam and we all headed down to the sterile area at the hanger and geared up for our entry. Sam and Spike were going through the cargo hold with an explosive entry through the back galley; Wordy and I were replacing the pilots and going through the cockpit door once ears were in play. We signalled the pilots to climb down the ropes and we pulled ourselves into the cockpit and Wordy got ears in.

"Sounds like someone is having an asthma attack?" he whispered.

I listened in and then shook my head, I pointed to myself with a gun motion and aimed at my chest – tension-pneumothorax – someone else had been shot.

"Boss we have a second shooting victim near our position, have EMS on standby."

"Copied," he replied.

We could hear Spike and Sam get into position and set the charge for the distraction, Parker had managed to get the remaining hostages grouped together with the help of team three who spotted the message a passenger had made on the blinds about five minutes ago. We pulled off ears from the door and got organised for entry on Sam's signal. Two minutes later the charge went off and we entered the seating area at speed and took down two subjects within five seconds at the back galley and I took down an unexpected subject who had pulled a weapon behind Wordy.

"Situation contained, three subjects neutralized and two in custody," Sam said over the radio.

I had already knelt down beside the wounded passenger and checked his vitals, very shallow but still there; I ripped open the pressure pack from my leg satchel and strapped it onto the minor wound while I leaned down and listened to his chest.

"Collapsed lung?" Wordy asked kneeling beside me.

I nodded and dragged over my kitbag and brought out the triage kit, I ripped open the guys shirt and felt his chest and ribcage – there – fourth and fifth rib was broken and digging into the right lung. I got Wordy to apply pressure to the less serious wound on the guys stomach as he was opposite me and I snapped the iodine sponge over his chest and got it as clean as I could, I pulled out the scalpel and made the incision to put in the pipe to get rid of the pressure in his lung and re-inflate it. The internal bleeding was serious as the moment the tube found its mark and the lung reflated, a burst of blood sprayed everyone and everything within three feet due to the pressure. I taped off the skin and listened to his breathing that was improved but he needed emergency surgery to survive; I started up on IVs and pain medication as the EMS were allowed onto the plane after everything was secured and let them know exactly what I had done and what medication he had been given. I helped strap the patient onto the stretcher and get him downstairs into the ambulance safely and got them cleared to the hospital. I saw Parker come across to us all with SIU and Stratham in tow.

"Who were the subject officers?" he called.

Sam and me stood forward and raised our hands, I was too the side slightly due to the triage I had performed and my hands and arms were covered in blood spray and I didn't want to contaminate Sam. Stratham motioned for us to follow him to the cars waiting and the officers stripped us both of weapons and put us in separate vehicles to the SRU. Wordy, Parker and Spike headed back to the control room for their gear and to meet up with team three who were busy packing everything up for them.

Three hours later after the usual SIU interview and hot shower I headed to the briefing room in my casual clothes since team one was now off calls for the day unless there was a major emergency. Sam met up with us and we got on with the briefing and I got an update on my patient, he died on the table but I was praised for the work I had done to stabilise him before transport; I nodded and handed the paperwork over to the boss on what I had done during the lethal incident and signed off.

"So how was SIU?" he asked gently.

"Usual line of inquiry after a lethal shot, never going to get used to the interrogation but, its part of the job we love to do!" I replied honestly.

"Yeah it sucks, but that was great team work from everyone involved and considering we are two people down – proud of you all."

"Any word from Ed or Sophie?" I asked.

"Yeah, couple of days and he should be released from hospital for home rest – he has a bone to pick with you thought about a thermometer?" Sam replied.

Everyone was looking at the massive smile across my face and I was chuckling, bloody typical that he would remember what I said to him during the primary exam.

"I told him the easy way or the hard way."

Everyone starting laughing as they caught on to what I was meaning and they could imagine what Ed's reaction to my comment was going to be; they all shook their heads at me and I shrugged my shoulders and grinned evilly.


	4. Chapter 4

For the next couple of weeks Toronto had very little action that required our attention and to be honest the whole of the SRU was thankful due to the virus spreading through the building like wildfire, I had tried everything possible to keep it at bay with the increased ventilation, cleaning procedures and everyone doing their parts in making sure procedures were followed for cross contamination. It got to the point that after a whole team went down in a single weekend I was going to declare the SRU a disaster area and to avoid at all costs! The stress was getting to everyone there, Halloran was calling in back up from other military units we relied on sometimes and we were down to four out of seven teams to cover the city; basically if shit hit the fan we were going to be swimming!

Due to the winter virus outbreak I had basically never got home, I was living in the SRU covering shifts, providing medical back up on other teams and ensuring that the HVAC was being properly decontaminated by the company who installed it. I was running around like crazy giving information out to the relief teams in regards to medical matters and protocols while also speaking to hospitals and medical boards regarding the spread of the virus through the city's population. Since the day that Ed had collapsed in the building there had been a trend of over 250'000 people being diagnosed with the virus and having to be monitored at home or in serious cases through the hospitals who were struggling to cope with the demand for bed space; the local areas and other cities all pulled together to help and finally the numbers started to drop as the virus was overcome by the change in weather. Most of the sick staff were feeling stronger as their immune systems recovered and the daily alerts to their welfare was encouraging and funny as we all kept each other's spirits up during the busy days. I just sent mass messages to them via social network and told them to sleep, eat and start gentle exercise routines to get their systems back into shape – they all text me back and nodded with big smiley faces!

Day 35 of the emergency and members of the team started to come back for re-qualification exams and their medicals, it was good to see them and most mornings from 5am were in my lab or room doing tests and passing people fit or moderated duty while they recovered. Most of team six and seven were back to fighting fitness and team two were on moderated duty due to not being 100% fit on gym exercises – I told them not to worry and it would be a couple of days to fully recover and then they can come back to work; they all nodded and headed back home, personally thinking they were glad!

It was around 3pm when I was in the briefing room completing my paperwork for all the medicals I had done over the last couple of days, it was a pet peeve of mine, I hated late paperwork and I always managed to catch up on time by being prepared. I got everything printed off and yawned loudly as I stretched my back; I had been sleeping on the makeshift bed during the twenty day stint I was here and was looking forward to the big comfy bed at home with Spike – him I sent home every day with the rest of the team – it was my job to cover medicals and emergencies like this and deal with any issues that could come up.

"Hello sunshine, busy morning?" a voice called gently.

I looked up and nodded, my head was too heavy to move off the surface of the table and I didn't want to get up at all; it had been a really busy few weeks and I just wanted some downtime to relax in a bath and sleep for a few days!

Parker walked over to me and sat down, I had managed to peel myself of the table and waken myself up with a bottle of water and chewing on my banana, he chuckled as he looked at me and I glared at him.

"Yeah I know, I look a mess and need to take some time off once the major players are back onto the field!" I replied.

He continued to look at me and then Sam walked into the room, he looked me up and down and shook his head at the mass of paperwork in front of me; he chucked me his packed lunch and ordered me to eat the mass of food inside.

"What – I have slept, I'm eating and if everything goes to plan today, then I am going home after shift to sleep!" I replied yawning.

"You look like crap; last time I saw you looking this bad it was the unit's reunion breakfast!"

"Your due a full physical Samuel Braddock – and I mean FULL!" I hissed back.

"Kids, go get ready for work!" Parker said breaking us up laughing.

We both left the room and I sent my banana skin flying into the back of his head, he chucked it back and it landed on Halloran who wasn't amused; we both looked at each other and then ran for our changing rooms and hid for a while. By the time we came back out of the changing rooms Halloran had gone back home and the rest of team one and team three were on full shift and geared up to go on patrol; I waved hello to them all and headed back into the briefing room for our chores today since we would be in the SRU building most of the day unless there were issues.

"Alright guys, last day of this month and we are going to be taking some mandatory time off, might only be four days, but some of us need to sleep! My thinking is a bumper surprise from the bakery down the road, coffee and then possibly the shoot house if you all behave!"

That perked everyone up including me, I had gone for a long shower and woken myself up as much as possible since I had a maximum of four hours sleep every day, and even then it wasn't solid sleep due to call outs and dealing with sick team members. Sam and I paired off to the gun locker to grab some supplies, I needed a refresher course in repelling and he had offered since Jules wasn't back to full fitness yet. We grabbed our gear and headed to the roof and got latched up on the pins and harnessed in, I loved repelling and it was Sam who taught me how to repel upside down and how to walk the walls. An hour or so later, after scaring the crap out of Spike who had arrived with the bakery stuff, I flipped around and landed on my feet and detached the ropes from the harness; Sam pulled them back up and I helped Spike into the building with the box of goodies.

"Grab your favourite stuff before anyone else arrives," I joked to the team.

Everyone grabbed stuff they wanted and I refused anything to eat, the smell of the bakery was making me nauseous and I decided to go grab my fruit salad Wordy had brought for me. Everyone was trying to tempt me with a big donut, I was laughing at their attempts to make it dance on the table towards me since they knew I liked a sugar rush at lunchtime since I discovered what the hell a Krispy Kreme was; I took a half of one and the minute I bit into it my stomach revolted and I fought against the vomit trying to crawl up my throat. I took a big drink of tea and silently pushed away the donut.

"You alright Mac, your sweating and pale." Sam asked.

I sent him a quick nod and calmed my stomach down – ugh!

"Sugar not a good thing when you're tired, just made me feel a bit sickly," I replied.

He looked at me and frowned before standing up and holding out his hand.

"Fancy doing some rounds in the mock up? Sharpen those skills up?"

I looked at him and grinned, he chuckled and got the rest of the team to organise their favourite scenarios as we all headed into the range and got settled for the bets that were now taking place. Sam went first, followed by Wordy and then Parker; Spike was in controls and after I swapped place with him and he went through the scenario, it was my turn. I freely admitted that I was shattered and probably going to blow granny out of the water, but they just patted me on my back and sent me in with the gun and night vision goggles.

"Countdown started, be ready for anything!" a voice called over the comms.

I headed through the maze and took out my targets one by one as they triggered in the programme and mixed between subjects and civilians; the lights went off and I switched to my night vision and blew another target off the hinge. I leaned against the wall and waited on the inevitable smoke bomb that was bound to be triggered by going through the second level maze and took a deep breath as I heard the click of the pipe. Seconds later the whole of the second level was full of heavy smoke and even though I was using sniper breathing to get me through to the finish, I was struggling and starting to cough and gag through the middle of the level; my whole chest was taken over by spasms and I held onto the wall as gasped for air.

"Guys, where did she go?" Parker asked looking at the monitors thirty seconds later.

He typed up the commands to see the split screen cameras and saw no movement.

"She should be out of there by now," Spike said looking through the monitors.

Sam looked through the second level CCTV and it was obscured by smoke too heavy for the night vision to penetrate, he hit the intercom and shouted on me to check in or get to the CCTV point. Seconds later Spike and Parker ran into the maze with masks on and up the stairs as the programme was shut down from control, I heard them calling me and all I could do was cough as the smoke irritated the crap out of my chest and made it impossible for me to get a proper breath in. I pulled myself up and managed to drag myself to the exit door and hit the exit button, I landed on the floor coughing and retching as my chest heaved.

I felt a set of hands across my shoulders and was pulled back, leaning into the boss's chest as I continued to cough and be supported as I got the smoke out of my lungs, Spike knelt down in front of me and checked me out for injury, I waved him off and sat up with support before getting to my feet and leaning against the wall.

"Alright Mac, let's get you to the first aid room, Troy can check you out with Keira!" Spike ordered.

"I'm alright, bit of a tickly throat from that donut and I couldn't stop coughing as the smoke hit me; I'm good – just need some water and fresh air!" I replied.

They pulled me down to the room anyway and sat me down in front of the open window and did a check on my respiration rate and lung capacity, I was good to go after I threw up for the fourth time from all the coughing; twenty minutes later I shuffled into the changing room and got into some clean clothes, I was getting sent home by Halloran after my 35 day rota and he didn't want to see me again for four days; I nodded in agreement and the guys dropped me off at the house on their patrol and I headed for some proper food and a seat on the couch, didn't get to eat my food as the minute I sat down I was out cold.

I woke up suddenly as I heard a piercing cry and a thud on the upstairs floor, I jumped off the couch and ran up the stairs and found Spike leaning against the headboard crying, I paced over to him and crawled onto the bed, taking him in my arms and pulling him to my chest as he let out his emotions. I looked at the clock and saw it was just after 7am, I must have been zoned out last night and he left me to sleep on the couch, I pulled him tighter as he calmed down and I passed him a drink of water from the nightstand.

"Same dream?" I whispered.

"Yeah," he shuddered back.

I quickly snuggled down with him on the bed and stroked his hair out the way, it was getting slightly longer on top and I know could see why his TO had called him Spike; I kissed his forehead and let him rest his head on my chest – seconds later we fell asleep again.

The next four days were great as I managed to get a room decorated and the garden sorted for the new flowers to get planted and my herb garden was started on the west side of the path; I even managed to get the small greenhouse up and running for when I seeded up the chillies I was going to germinate in the barn. After a busy third day we were both lying on the bean bags out the back looking up at the stars as we waited on the steaks cooking on the small BBQ bucket I whisked up; we were both starving and needed to eat the mass of pasta I had created a couple of days ago and was eating like crazy. Spike had bluntly asked me if I thought I could be pregnant due to the food I was shovelling down my throat and the nausea I was having – scared the shit out of him this morning as he walked in on me doing a test – he calmed down, slightly disappointed, as it came back negative.

"Do you want a family, I mean, soon after marriage or…well…."

I looked over to him and smiled, bless him he was going pink and had a goofy grin on his face, I climbed over to him and snuggled down with my face over his heart.

"I want this house, two or more crazy assed kids running about my ankles all day and possibly a couple of dogs too – you were disappointed this morning weren't you?"

"Yeah, but in hindsight it's a life altering decision and Ma would kill us if I got you pregnant before marriage – so it might be a good idea to do that first!" he replied.

I blinked and looked up at him, he grinned and nodded to my unspoken thought and I jumped up onto my knees.

"Was that a proposal Michelangelo?" I demanded in mock outrage.

"Only if you say my name again with that accent – screw the steaks!" he replied grabbing my hands and pulling me into the kitchen.

I laughed as he shut the kitchen door and shoved me against the kitchen table, pulling off my clothes he kissed me hard and we rolled off the surface onto the floor laughing.


	5. Chapter 5

**One week later**

8.45 am and I am running up a steep set of metal stairs as I climb up the CN Tower to reach the walkabout platform, my legs are burning from the twenty levels I have just had to climb to reach the only point I can do a safety drop; finally I arrive at my location after another few minutes and I get outside onto the small walkway and I'm immediately soaked to the skin and frozen stiff by the wind chill. I latch on my safety gear and clip the carbineers to the harness and the safety points attached to the towers main structure; I climb along the slipway and lean over the edge to see my target.

"Boss I'm over the girl and getting ready to repel to about a meter above her, keep her distracted so I can latch onto the safety straps and hook her up!" I yelled over the wind.

I couldn't hear a response so I lay on my side and fed out the rope through the harness and ended up pointing head down over the CN Tower, I had to use the structural beams to keep myself from being blown around the place and I was buffeted into the metal repeatedly with very little protection. I got to my position and tried to latch onto the jumper's harness that had been unhooked earlier, unfortunately at the same time the wind picked up and slammed a window violently and she spotted me just behind her. She got that much of a fright she slipped backwards and I had to grab her from behind as Parker tried to grab her from the front. The wind picked up her jacket and we were both tossed over the edge, she was screaming and struggling, I was yelling at her to keep calm and hold on as we were going back towards the ledge at speed.

"SAM – GRAB HER LEGS!" I screamed over the radio.

We smashed into them at speed and they managed to grab her legs and hold on, the wind was dragging me out again and I had no choice but to release her and try and grab onto the railings outside, I managed for a moment before the rope above me snapped me against the wind and I battered off the side of the metal panelling. I was gasping for air as the harness was now squeezing my chest and my soaking wet clothes were restricting my breathing under the Kevlar vest. I managed to right myself and gripped the barriers with my hands, the metal was freezing and suddenly two sets of hands grabbed my arms and helped pull me up over the barrier and onto the safety of the shielded walkway where I was dragged inside the room and laid on the floor. My chest was burning and I was hunched onto my right side as the harness had caused friction burns to my flanks and stomach; I breathed through the adrenaline and let Jules help me out of the harness and wrapped me in the blanket as I sat up and leaned against the wall.

"How is she?" I said through chattering teeth.

"Physically fine, mentally she is going to be transferred to St. Mike's for observation, we have a second ambulance on the way for you considering how long you were out in the cold trying to talk her down from this morning and then that repel you just did."

I had come up to watch the dawn with Spike, we had found a young woman about to jump and I had stepped in as negotiator as Spike called in the SRU for assistance, it turned to our team who were on duty to come to our aid and for the morning to start off with me doing a backwards repel down the CN Tower in negative wind chill and lashing sleet and rain. The EMTs helped me up off the floor and Jules went into the bathroom with them to help me strip off my top layers and the harness – I must have yelled out a little too loudly as they prodded the deep bruises on my side as the guys called out to me.

"Yeah – nothing a skip of arnica won't cure!" I replied to their questions.

"No break, but you need to get warmed up quickly and get something hot to eat within the next little while or you'll be ten times worse later on; you know the drill Officer!"

I nodded and picked up my wet tops and huddled under the blanket again as I headed out to the team who whisked me off to the SRU to get a hot shower and hot food. An hour later I was half dressed and Jules was helping me put arnica on my sides and back, the bruises were deep and clearly showed where the harness was and where I rattled into the metal walkway, courtesy of the mesh imprint on my skin. I had been cleared for duty as long as I took it easy and I agreed fully to stay in the truck unless necessary – to be honest I was glad as I had a feel that virus that knocked everyone out was making its way into my chest after the cold shower this morning. After pulling on my tops and pulling my hair back into its ponytail, I headed out the locker room towards the commissary where a huge bowl of porridge had my name on it; I made it up in the bowl and shoved it in the microwave to cook while I grabbed my bowl and maple syrup from the cupboard.

"There she is Spiderwoman!" a voice called a few minutes later.

I looked up from the table and threw them the finger, I felt like crap and really couldn't be assed with company right now, and they found out the hard way that when I get a cold I don't want to be bothered unless it's a call. They chuckled, as they saw my gesture and came to join me anyway, no way in hell where they leaving me alone after getting hurt on a call out.

"Is that really a way to say hello to your team, the ones who just want you to wrap up and swing from the rafters of the CN Tower!" Sam said jokingly.

"No, that's how I say hello to the team who are annoying me when I am sore, tired and look like I swam through the lochs naked! Sorry guys, miss grumpy is visiting….think that cold finally hit me after my bath this morning!" I replied lying my head back down.

Sam, Wordy and Jules all looked at me and winced, they had a good dose of the cold at separate points over the last few weeks and knew how bad it made them feel at the start when the virus just kicks in. I pulled my head off the table again and stood up slowly; I scraped my plate in the bin and waved them off as I headed to my lab to go create the mother of all chilli peppers that would hopefully be used in a prank one day. On my way to the main corridor I was stopped by the boss and beckoned into the briefing room, I followed and turned to face him as I sat down.

"What's up boss?" I inquired wearily.

"Medical reports just came in about you and the girl Jessica," he replied putting them down onto the table.

I picked Jessica's up and scanned through the tests and prognosis, no major physical issues but depression and baseline personality disorder were pretty obvious from the mandatory psych evaluation. I then picked up mine and noticed the usual test results coming back fine, fully confirmed no pregnancy which hurt a little and then he tapped the other blood tests completed by the EMS in the ambulance.

"Okay so my haemoglobin is low, abnormal blood cell and my vitamin B is weak, considering all the bruises I have had recently and the job we do – I'm just anaemic!"

"It's enough for you to be removed from active in case there are underlying issues, is there anything going on that I need to be made aware of?" he asks gently.

I leaned forward as much as possible with the aches I was having across my side, I wrote down my symptoms and showed him the piece of paper.

"Thirty five days of covering shifts, medicals and treating the team as they succumbed to that bloody virus, I then get soaked and frozen this morning and you're asking me if there is anything wrong?" I asked grinning.

He nodded his head and looked straight at me.

"I have the virus boss, seems my constitution just takes a bigger beating to break down. I'm nauseous with a temperature and I can't keep food down without chewing it a lot, I have a splitting headache and I have restricted myself to basic duties when on calls, so I will stick to the truck unless needed. Apart from that I am just anaemic; something a big steak and plenty of rest will help with over the next couple of days."

"You should go home, we can get cover!" he replied pointing to the results.

"I'm good boss, I'll stick to technical backup and take precautions!" I replied.

He sighed and nodded to me, watching me shuffle out of the room and shaking his head.


	6. Chapter 6

**Eighteen hours later**

I was stuck in the truck giving out information as required to both teams that were deployed at the riot downtown, it was a bloody nightmare scenario as the leaders were using black on black techniques and making CCTV footage near impossible to use. The others were either deployed on the ground with the riot squads putting arrested subjects into the buses or were dealing with the individual who had sparked the worst start to a shift possible for a Saturday morning.

"Guys, I have a secondary group of rioters coming in towards the truck and they don't look friendly!" I called hoarsely over comms.

"Get the doors locked and the vents shut in case they try and gain entry, riot units are being sent to your location with team four."

"Copy that!" I replied as I slammed the door shut and locked it as I sealed the vents.

The rioters were using homemade pipe bombs, Molotov's and a weapon had been discharged earlier on – all this before 7am! I zoomed in on the riot leaders and took multiple photo shots of them and loaded them to the SkyDrive at the SRU in case the truck was compromised, I would be murdered if I lost any of the data we collected so far.

Suddenly the truck started to rock gently, I zoomed to external truck cams and saw the protesters starting to surround the truck, I rolled my eyes and I knew I was safe since the truck was built for these events and there were only minor areas of weakness that could be attacked to put it out of commission. I loaded up all the data and clicked the comms unit to reach control room in the building and the team.

"Guys, truck is surrounded and all information has been sent to Winnie….."

I stopped mid-sentence as I heard weird metal screeches and looked through the cameras on screen to find out what the hell it was, sounded like a key getting dragged over the surface of the truck? I saw a small group of people in black mess around with the tail end of the truck and then back off at speed.

"Officer Fraser, status report?" demanded one of the riot unit leaders.

I clicked on what they had just done somewhere in the back of my truck and I lunged for the keyboard and typed like crazy.

"Oh shit! Guys – Truck has been compromised!" I called loudly.

I hit all the emergency codes into the keyboard to save data and scramble the screens, a nice little security feature Spike had introduced us too in case this scenario ever happened; quite typically it happens to me though!

"Mac, what's going on?" Parker yelled over the radio.

"Small group of rioters were messing with the rear end of the truck and then ran off at speed, nothing bad so far but I don't know if that could change – I have a bad feeling about this boss and I'm initiating lockdown!" I replied.

"Mac, Wordy and I are heading in your area with team four, couple of minutes alright!" Sam said sharply over the comms.

"Copy that, going to take me a few moments to get locked down anyway, the main wireless has been damaged and I'm using the external buildings, Spike how do you boost the signal again?" I replied typing like crazy.

"Type code xctyoda3768tcg, that will set the SAT link up and allow you access to boost, once you're done, type the code in reverse to scramble!" he replied.

"Copy boss," I replied.

I saw the guys on the corner screen running around the corner about a block away, everything was cool for the time being and once they were closer I could get back to dealing with the Intel being collected by a harassed Winnie at the station.

Moments later though, the whole situation changed and I heard another screech of metal and a shadow of another black clad individual run away from the back of the truck, I stood up and checked the back screen for any other people around the truck; a huge screech and the whole truck shook violently and the compressed cabin of the truck started to fill up with smoke, looks like I now know what they were doing with the back of the truck. I searched in the lockers for the gas mask I knew to be in here, but with so many bodies required outside they must have needed it at some point. I ripped my old neck scarf and wrapped it around my face as I coughed from the increased smoke coming out of the vent; I made my way to the door and tried to open it up, all I felt was searing heat and pulled my hand back gasping in pain – oh this was so not my week!

"I need back up immediately – truck has been bombed!" I shouted over the radio.

"We'll be there in seconds, can you get out?" Jules yelled.

"Negative, system not locked down yet and the trucks surface is heating up think there is a fire underneath the carriage!" I replied coughing.

_"I need back up from an engine on the corner of Dundas and Elizabeth, SRU officer is trapped in a smoked out truck, EMS get on the scene too!" a voice shouted in the radio._

I got to the back of the truck and wrapped my hand in plastic wrap from the first aid kit and got the rest of the computer drives locked down with the security code, this truck was doomed and I could hear the teams outside shout on the fire engine to get here ASAP.

"Mac….Mackenzie can you hear me!" shouted Spike.

"Yeah…..smoke out truck secure!" I coughed in reply.

The smoke was really dense now and I was gasping in pain as my lungs, already weakened by the virus, had inhaled a crap load of smoke too; I lay on my side and tried pulling out the vents under the computer units, they were searing hot too – seems they had set a fire close by and it was heating up the air to speed up the smoke. I coughed and coughed through my makeshift mask and I could hear the teams using the Jaws of Life outside on the door as the fire unit put out the blaze, good timing too considering how warm it was now in here and I was litterly going to pass out from either heat or smoke.

"Guys have you got our girl out yet?" Parker demanded.

The doors screamed as the joints broke and the rush of oxygen sucked out a lot of the smoke, but only for Sam and Wordy to find me on the floor unconscious.

"We need EMS now, Officer down and unresponsive!" Wordy shouted into the comms.

"Guys what's going on?" Parker demanded.

"The truck was turned into an oven boss, she's out cold and Sam is doing triage care – update when EMS takes over!" shouted Wordy over the noise.

Sam had pulled me over to the door and pulled me out over his shoulder, Wordy directed the EMS units to our location while Sam laid me on the pavement and checked my airway, it was swollen but not fully blocked and he could just make out wheezing breath sounds. He cleared my mouth that was black from the smoke and blew oxygen into me a couple of times, I coughed as Wordy pulled my vest zipper down and I coughed even more before opening my eyes and throwing up. They rolled me to my side with milliseconds to spare and supported me as I coughed and hacked onto the road, that really didn't help my side and I rolled back onto my back and gasped – I was groggy as hell and was still wheezing as the EMS unit arrived across from the smouldering truck and rushed over to us. Sam and Wordy stepped back to allow them to work on me and stabilize my breathing, they weren't happy with the state of my throat and the issue that I was fading in and out on every few coughs. A few more people arrived and the EMS looked to Parker for answers.

"Has your officer had any colds recently, her breathing is weak and shallow!"

"She's just come down with that virus that knocked us out a few weeks ago, I don't know how long she has had it though due to the incubation time!" he replied.

"Taking her to St. Simon's as an emergency, I'll call the station with an update!" the EMS replied.

"What's her condition?" Parker demanded getting on scene.

"Not good Sergeant!" he replied honestly.

The team stood back as I was loaded onto the ambulance and whisked off to the hospital, they all looked up at the truck and then to Spike who had ran around last due to getting the last IED pipe bomb disabled from the rioters. He looked at his team and the ambulance screaming down the street in the distance, he faltered a little as he came to the truck.

"What the hell happened?" he demanded.

"IED pipe bombs loaded into the exhaust and then they attacked the door with cocktails, turned the truck into an improvised smoke house when she sealed the door and vents, nothing we could have done differently." Sam replied.

"She's been taken to St. Simon's; her lungs aren't working right due to the smoke inhalation and the virus she's got. I know you want to be with her but we have to clear up here and you need to debrief Halloran about the IEDs – after that you go alright!" Parker replied.

"I just text Shelley, she's going to head over after dropping the kids at her mom, she'll keep an eye on what's going on for us Spike; the sooner we do this then the sooner we can go alright!" Wordy said supporting Spike.

They all nodded and at speed raced down the block and got started on their tasks and disposals.

I had just arrived at the hospital after another coughing and retching fit that had nearly killed me, I had tried to sit up to release my vest but they wanted it kept on until they could hear my breath sounds better. I was wheeled into the trauma unit and within seconds of the doctor looking at my throat, I felt hands on my face and a familiar man looking down at me.

"Mac, can you hear me?" he demanded.

I couldn't speak to save myself and I just blinked as I felt IVs going into my hand and my clothes being removed under the sheets, my brain was trying to process what was going on but the stuff they had given me through the injection was kicking in.

"Your throats swelling again and we're going to intubate you until its safe – probably 24 hours. I'll call the station; you're going to be alright!"

I blinked again and felt a hand squeeze mine as I passed out.

It was the worst four hours of Spike's recent life as he dismantled over ninety IED pipe bombs and helped the clean-up operation with the municipal departments, finally it was completed and the teams met up at the SUVs and headed to the hospital. They all headed to the main trauma desk and were directed to the ICU on the fifth floor where they saw Shelley talking to one of the doctors who everyone recognised.

"Brian, how is she doing?" Parker demanded.

"Her lungs took a beating with the hot smoke and we had to intubate her to keep from anymore damage happening; that along with the virus she has had all month she is a little wobbly in her blood tests so we are keeping track of them too."

"What do you mean 'wobbly'?" Sam asked.

"Severely anaemic and her haemoglobin is dangerously low so we have started her on MV treatment and a small blood infusion to give her a boost."

"We found out she was anaemic from earlier blood tests yesterday, she's had the virus for over a month and it's just hitting her now?"

"Yeah, some people are carriers of the disease and when it hits them, it floors them in one go. The anaemia is being treated with therapeutic VB drugs and she'll need to go on a high protein diet for a few weeks, build up her blood supply. She has some spectacular bruising, what the hell was she hit with?" Brian replied.

"Reverse repel down the CN Tower yesterday morning, she saved a young girl from jumping but was hurt in the recovery – are those injuries going to cause problems?" Sam replied.

"No, they are just spectacular bruises and the x-rays have come back clear with no broken bones or fractures; she's going to be alright with some TLC, the intubation is SOP due to the amount of smoke she inhaled and the swelling – twenty four hours maximum and we can remove it and let her have a mask instead."

Brian saw Spike run up the corridor after parking the SUV and he faltered once he saw everyone's faces, he stopped and Wordy pulled him forward towards the door.

"She's been intubated due to the smoke but she will be fine once the swelling goes down alright, now get in there!" he whispered.

Spike walked in and his heart sunk as he saw me on the bed hooked up to the machine and IVs, he moved forward to the side of the bed and took my hand as he wiped away my fringe and kissed my forehead. I still smelled of smoke and the faint smell of TNT from the explosion, Spike sat down on the chair and just started whispering to me as the other team members looked on from outside the large window in the corridor.

"Guys, if you want to go in and check then feel free, but she will be fine with Spike here, we still need to go debrief at the barn."

They nodded and one by one came in to check and then headed off as a group leaving Spike as a sentry over me.

I woke up really groggy and looked about the place, my throat was killing me and then it everything came back with a nuclear force – smoked out truck, fire – ugh! I tried to take a deep breath in and my throat caught on the intubation tube, I immediately tried to relax and ended up coughing; I let the machine take a deep breath for me and I yanked out the tube and rolled onto my side retching into the bucket. The door flew open and a trauma unit led by Brian came running in with a crash cart and stopped as they saw me awake and coughing, he walked over to me and shoved an oxygen mask over my face and let the nurses attend the medication that was needed after yanking out the tube.

"Hey it's our job to remove the tube and not yours – what the hell were you thinking?"

I was still on my side and had finished coughing, the nurses had finished their duties and backed off out the room as Brian put pillows behind my back and knelt beside me.

"Sorry, not a fan on intubation tubes, how long was I out?" I croaked rubbing my eyes.

"Three days due to the swelling which I need to check." He answered.

I opened my mouth for him and he had a look with his light, must still be pretty red but it felt a lot better than a couple of days ago in the truck; he switched off his small pen light and nodded in approval.

"All clear though you are going to have one hell of a sore throat for a few days, I'll get chloroseptic spray for you to use whenever you need it, I'll even let you choose the flavour if you keep that mask on for the rest of the night alright. It's nearly dinner time; do you think you can manage some soup?"

I nodded and he explained he was going to give me an hour to settle down and then would try some food, if I kept it down, he would contact the barn with news and allow more visitors tonight as long as I didn't tax myself. I agreed and grinned; he passed me a small container and pointed to the toilet as he brought in another nurse to help me out.

Three hours later I was sleeping again, it was just after 8pm and I was exhausted so they just left me to sleep after the hot shower I managed earlier on after successfully chewing on some soup and painkillers for the throat. I felt a tickling down the side of my face and I moved slightly, a small gentle kiss on my forehead and I woke up to face Spike who was smiling and lying on the bed beside me.

"Hey Bella," he whispered.

"Hey maestro," I whispered back.

He told me that Brian had called him personally as requested and he had come after shift, thankfully the last few days had been quiet due to the city getting over the riots; thankfully no-one else had been hurt and all the data had successfully been transferred to Winnie who got it sorted out. He let me know that the virus was nearly out of my system and it was just a really runny nose and sore throat I would have apart from the bruises from that morning; Spike hadn't seen them yet and he flinched as he peaked under the blankets and looked at the chessboard pattern across my side. I snuggled down into his arms as he wrapped another blanket over me and puffed up the pillows behind my back to keep me on my side, I moved my oxygen mask so I could give him a kiss – he put it back on a few minutes later. The door opened and Brian walked in; he smiled as he saw us on the bed and shook his head at our cuddle – two SRU officers in pink blankets and hankies!

"What's the news doc, when can I get home?"

"Should be tomorrow morning, but you need to take the rest of the week off and rest your lungs before doing requalification again at work. Apart from that, your bruises will heal normally and then you'll be fighting fit and I don't want to see any SRU in here for at least a month!" he replied laughing.

We both grinned and nodded as he fiddled with the IV and oxygen and left us alone in peace and quiet; I looked at Spike and then he went to close the door.


	7. Chapter 7

After a good night sleep and a full battery of tests all cleared in the morning, I was discharged with some throat spray and mild painkillers for the bruises; I had plenty of arnica at home so I would keep using that on my sides until they healed – it was just damage to the skin and it wasn't so raw anymore, tender in the shower but not painful. Spike picked me up at the back of 11am and since he had been given a late arrival pass, he picked me up in his gear and manly picked me up and walked out with me in his arms – much to my embarrassment and giggles from the other nurses I knew in the ward. He set me down just outside the car park and we made our way to the SUV and I wanted to go see everyone at the barn; he nodded since my car was still there anyway and I would go straight home for food and bed once I had saw everyone. We headed in and found them all working out in the gym; I waved to everyone and they all came over as I made my way to them.

"Hey, how are the lungs holding up?" Sam asked.

"Good thanks, sound a bit like Kermit though so I'm allowed back on Monday as long as I pass fitness – sorry about the scare guys!" I replied.

"Not your fault and the good thing is we got the truck refitted as Spike requested months ago, Halloran just didn't like the way it had to happen!" Jules replied.

I chuckled and left them to their exercises and found Wordy with Parker and a harassed Ed who was still not back to work yet; you could just feel the boredom he was feeling. I leaned against the wall as he moaned he was bored to death, needed back to work and was having to wait for his doctor to clear him since I was off duty. The others were saying that it was standard protocol after such a heavy infection and they just needed to do the physical evaluation and requalification test in the range. He groaned and I stifled a laugh as I walked around to face the meeting room and announce myself.

"Boss other option is I can do it today and you get two people back on Monday if he passes!" I called gently.

All three of them looked towards me and burst out in smiles, I was in my jeans, check shirt and trainers and probably looked a shit load healthier than three days ago; they all stood up as I entered and grinned at Ed who gave me a massive hug.

"Hey kiddo how's the cold?"

"Cold sucks, but liveable until it clears – just sound like Kermit the Frog now!"

"I was going to be a gentleman and not say anything but you sound hysterical!" Wordy quipped.

I looked at him and burst out laughing, that turned to coughing and a pat on the back as I caught my breath, no funny movies for me for a few days until I got rid of the cough. I looked to Parker and grinned before pointing to Ed and the gym, he nodded and Ed kissed my cheek as he went to get organised.

Two hours later we had a very happy TL and he was just finishing up in the range when the alarm went off for a call, I headed out on sheer instinct and made it to the weapons locker before realising what I had done – everyone looked at me and I shrugged.

"Don't worry; you're not the only one who did this!" Parker said laughing.

"Keep the peace guys, and no injuries!" I called as they ran for the garage.

After submitting my paperwork I headed to my car and went grocery shopping knowing full well that Spike would have been fed at the teams houses while I was in hospital; it was soothing to do something so mundane as choosing peanut butter and meals for the week – everything went with pasta! An hour or so later I got home, packed everything away and headed for the couch with a stew in the oven and a big bowl of soup for myself.

Nine in the evening and I had heard nothing from Spike, he was over two hours late and I knew he was due to come straight home, I text the guys and waited on a response as I put away the dishes and then my phone beeped.

_'Spike took a personal day, is he not home?'_

I dialled Wordy and he thankfully picked up after a moment, I was praying that Spike was there or he would know where he could be?

"Mac is everything alright, I just got the text?"

"I just heard that he took a personal day, he hasn't been seen since he dropped me at the barn – any ideas where he could be?"

"One of the guys would have told us if he was with them, want me to come out and search with you?" he asked.

"No its alright, he might just have gone to the movies for some peace and quiet, get away from the crazy for a while; if you hear anything though, please let me know!"

A couple more hours passed and I had heard nothing from anyone, where the hell could he be at 1am? I was just about to pick up the phone when my mobile went off with Metro Police calling me, this wasn't good!

"Mac, its Fiona from 41; we just found Spike in the graveyard and he's a real mess – it's off the books but he is in no fit state to drive or walk – can you come and get him?"

My stomach just bottomed out, he was in the graveyard and wasted – what the hell?

"I'll be there in ten Fiona, try and get some water into him if possible," I replied.

Ten minutes later I pulled into the graveyard and hit the brakes when I saw them beside a body prone on the ground, I got out the car and ran across to them with my heart in my throat and sheer anger at what was going on. Fiona stopped me as she pointed to the bottles and I nodded as we got him into the car and strapped in.

"Thank you Fiona, it means a lot!" I whispered.

"Even SRU can have bad days, but he needs help – nightmares of someone called Lou and his dad – even you – scared the crap outta me when I heard the scream!"

I nodded and drove like the fury back towards the house, I was tapping out my anger on the steering wheel and once this idiot had woken up a little bit he was getting it between the eyeballs. I pulled up in the driveway and managed to get a very drunk Spike into the house and up the stairs, I shoved him in the large shower and stripped him off to warm up, he just leaned against the wall and made comments. I got him dried up and shoved him into the spare bed and wrapped him up tightly before heading to the library to grab my medical kit and make up a couple of banana bags for him, that was probably the only thing that would help him sober up for the morning. An hour later I was exhausted and after getting Spike set up with the IVs and anti-sickness meds that would be his saviour in the morning; I fell asleep on the chair.

My alarm went off at 5am and I groaned, I had barely gotten to sleep since Spike was having really vivid drunk dreams, several times he cried out and I ended up having to give him a mild sedative after getting him to the bathroom. I headed for a quick shower and change and got the new IVs set up and some more sedatives into him before I decided to make a call that could really cause some problems.

"Parker," a voice called.

"Hey boss…emm…Spike needs another day – he's…well…" I tried to explain and failed.

"Mac is everything alright, you sound – stressed!"

"Boss, I really need to speak to you, can you come over?" I whispered.

I never asked Parker for help before, not in the way I just had and he immediately confirmed he would be over within twenty minutes and if I needed anything, I said for him to just come as a friend and not as the boss and I would explain what was going on. Thirty minutes later the door knocked and the team knew they could just walk into the house, it was a free invite and they were welcome; I came from the kitchen with a pot of coffee and two mugs and motioned for him to follow me upstairs. He did so and I stopped outside the bedroom.

"Mac, what the hell is wrong?" he whispered.

"Greg, I need help, or more Spike does. A friend from 41st division called at 2am this morning after finding him drunk in the graveyard having a full blown nightmare – I don't know what to do….." I started before the tears began.

He opened the door and saw Spike lying in the bed with the IVs in him and out for the count, Greg looked at me and I just stared back not knowing what the hell to do.

We talked about what has been going on in our lives recently and what we had been doing at work, the failures the wins the stress, as emotional as both of us were, we never talked much about the stresses, and we tended to get those frustrations out other ways. I told him about the time three weeks ago he had a nightmare that resulted in him not sleeping for two days, even with support. It was emotional parasomnia due to everything happening over the last few years and it was hitting him when he was asleep; problem was I was the worst person to talk to about it due to my own experiences of it.

"Oh Mac, you both should have come to me sooner," Parker whispered.

"It has never been this bad before, I had to do everything for him, he was paralysed in fear and the drinking – he's not much of a drinker and I don't keep spirits in the house – only some homemade wine we made for parties – I don't know how or why he would do this?"

I was huddled on the floor beside the bed, mixing up more banana bags for the IV and ensuring that he was resting properly and not in a medical sleep; he had a few moans and was moving about restlessly for a while but calmed down once the meds kicked in.

"What are his nightmares about, at least from what you can figure out?"

"Lou and the landmine, the stress with his dad and death and losing his family, everything that's happened to me since I joined SRU; he feels responsible for it all. I've told him time and time again that I make my own decisions and follow them through, that I knew the risks the job involved and that I was safer with the SRU than the army. He hasn't been able to eat properly in a couple of weeks, his sleeping pattern is shot and his mood can be unpredictable." I replied attaching the IVs.

"I need to ask, has he ever…" he started.

"Oh God no; He's never laid a finger on me and I trust him with my life, as I said earlier, he either goes to the gym or we work it out in other ways."

He frowns at me and realises that we both did what he feared, we didn't work the problem we buried it thought sex and working too much.

"I think I know where you are going with this boss, I recognise the symptoms. Your thinking this could be delayed stress reaction?" I whispered looking up at him.

He nodded and I took a deep breath out and laid my head on my knees, least that was confirmed now and all we had to do was get Spike to open up about what was eating him inside; that could be problematic at the least and disastrous at the worst.

"Boss he won't talk to me about it, you know him best – he's hiding things from me because he doesn't want me hurt or scarred anymore! I'm a big girl and maybe my own experiences can help him settle the ghosts?" I whispered wiping my eyes.

Parker sat beside me on the floor and pulled me into his arms; he hugged me tight and promised that he would do everything possible to get us through this mess and for Spike to open up about his stress and emotions.

Spike had started to wake up and with some persuasion I left the room and heard him talk very gently to Spike, I knew Parker loved him like a son and maybe with the stress of his family and everything else, a strong male presence in his life right now was good to guide him. I headed downstairs and out the back door; I needed to do something with my hands to keep busy so I grabbed my gardening box and started to weed out the flower bed and attack the roses with a vengeance.

It must have been a couple of hours later that the garden gate opened and a couple of people walked in on me putting the garden waste into the compactor, I was all muddy and harassed with scratches up and down my arms and neck as I went and ripped out all the roses; I turned around and saw Wordy and Sam look at me and I knew they had found out. I walked across the pave stones and dropped my tools into the wheelbarrow that was full of new plants and soil for the flower bed I had created.

"Mac…" Sam started.

"I seemingly broke Spike," I whispered grabbing some flower pots.

I knelt back down beside the flower bed and began digging with my hands and then knife to cut away any tree roots from the massive maple tree on the other side of the fence, it was physically soothing work but emotionally I was going to blow my fuse at not realising the pressure I put on Spike as he kept me together multiple times.

"Mac this wasn't your fault, we all missed the signs and stress he was hiding," Sam replied.

"I should have never have let it get this far, I should have seen this coming with all the crap I landed on his and the teams plate. I needed him and I repay him by ignoring the signs and letting him fall apart; what kind of person does that to a friend?" I replied tersely.

"Don't go down that road Mac, you know he chose to be there for you when you were in hospital and sick, he chose to be there for you through thick and thin. Spike is going to be alright with some time and support from all of us – he has had a rough few years emotionally and that takes its toll – he needs to grieve and recover!" Wordy whispered.

I was still kneeling down and out of sheer frustration and anger I got to my feet and threw the knife at the back fence where it lodged into the thick wooden beam, I had noticed the look the guys gave each other and slightly different stance they took as I turned back around to face them – oh great, now they were thinking I was going to go loony! I took a deep breath and headed back inside to the kitchen and flipped on the kettle and pulled out the tea, it seemed like the right thing to do as I reassembled my face and washed my hands.

"You don't need an invite in this house guys, you can come in!" I called gently.

Both men looked at me as they entered and I shrugged as I sorted out the large teapot and put it on the table along with some baking I had done earlier on; that was the rule in this house, always hot tea or coffee and baking ready for those who need it – anytime of day and night. They both grabbed a mug and I passed Sam a knife for the banana cake I had made and let them chew on whatever they wanted as we stood around in the kitchen and waited on Parker coming down.

"How is he doing Mac, at least physically?"

"He is highly intoxicated with high adrenaline levels and severe insomnia – basically like me minus the alcohol when I was recovering. When I got him home I got him cleaned up and connected to a couple of banana bags and AS medications; I then had to sedate him after he woke up screaming….."

I couldn't contain the tears anymore and I just slid down the cabinet onto the floor, I was exhausted myself and still trying to recover from that stupid virus and banged up body from the CN Tower rescue. I had managed to do my worst nightmare, I broke the man I love and I had no idea how to start repairing the damage. Both men slid down beside me and boxed me in as they talked to me, explained what the boss had told them and why they understood where I was coming from; Wordy, with dealing with the fallout from rescuing Shelley from an abusive marriage and Sam from JTF2 and shooting his best friend.

We stayed on the floor for a while until I had sucked it back up and got pulled to my feet by them for a hug and to check out the scratches across my arms and neck, I pointed to the first aid kit and cleaned the scratches up with iodine and the odd butterfly dressing across my arm where a thorn was removed. We all turned around to face Parker who was coming down the stairs; he looked at us all in the kitchen and then noticed the blood stains on the dressings and the first aid kit on the table.

"I picked a fight and won!" I mumbled.

"Glad you're on our team!" he replied.

I shrugged and passed him a cup of fresh tea and pointed to the cake if he was hungry.

"Guys if you want to go see him then it's alright, he's awake and company would be good for him right now; he is a little emotional right now so eggshells!" he added.

_'Keep it together Mackenzie, the boss will see right through you if you don't!'_

They both nodded and took some cake up with them as I sat on a seat and looked outside into the garden, I sure as hell was not a gardener and killed nearly every single household plant apart from chillies and herbs – what the hell was I doing gardening for, I should have gone to the garage and started punching the shit out of the bag.

"Mackenzie are you alright, you zoned right out on me!"

I looked at the boss who was kneeling beside the chair and had his hands on my wrists and his fingers on my pulse point, his eyes were searching my face and he was counting my breaths which I immediately slowed down and sent him a quick smile.

"Sorry boss was thinking about why I started the gardening," I mumbled.

"Does gardening put your blood pressure and pulse up, or are you still not telling me everything about how you're dealing with this?"

I looked down at my hands in his and sighed, he needed to know and I was actually embarrassed about telling him this considering how close the team was.

"Do you remember a few days ago I got sick on the donut and was constantly emotional and a right pain in the ass? We thought I was pregnant, scared the crap out of Spike when he walked in on me waiting on the test. It was negative and it's been confirmed, but he was disappointed and then a lot later on a night he half mentioned marriage – second shocker of the day. We haven't discussed it since due to the craziness of recent days, but how could he want to marry someone who causes him so much pain?" I confessed.

The boss just knelt there in complete shock; I actually had to poke him to get some kind of human response and to get off his knees before he ruptured something.

"You thought you were pregnant and then he asked you to marry him?"

I nodded and I knew Spike didn't ask me because of the possible baby, but because we were ready to take it to the next level in our relationship and be married in the chapel, Greg got off his knees and sat on the chair next to me still looking like reality hadn't hit home yet; he finally looked at me and blew out the breath he had been holding, I had just done the same and he nodded as things started to make sense about behaviours.

"He's terrified of being alone. He lost Lou, his dad died and then his mom moved back to Italy; his TO was killed in the line of duty and after being held hostage and watching his team nearly be blown up – he has a lot of emotional baggage to deal with. He needs time to get things out in the open with you and he needs support from his friends and family, he needs the support from you. He loves you Mac and that will never change, you are each other's lifeline – that is not an easy bond to break because you are stronger together than apart."

"But because of the dangers of our job I have managed to push him to breaking point and I didn't even realise the signs and behaviours that DSR displays. He's not the only one who is exhausted boss, I try and keep up with everyone but my body needs to heal and it doesn't have the time to because of the work schedule with SRU, meetings with HM and Decon and the constant medical updates I need to keep track of to do my job. I'm not complaining as I love my job and I love you guys, but I need some time, even a week to just heal!"

He looked at me and smiled as he pointed behind me, I turned around and was faced by Spike looking a little worse for wear and wrapped up in a blanket; I stood up and we crashed together in a massive hug and I let him shake out his emotions as our friends looked on. I managed to get him calmed down enough to sit at the table and get some food into him as Wordy and Sam talked with Greg about the team taking a week's mandatory leave to deal with some issues – this had been cleared by Halloran and he wished us well.

"Where are you thinking of going, I assume you were leaving the area for the week?"

"I know a place a couple of hours away, it's an old monastery that is now used for people to get away from stress in their lives and work out problems with the priests and monks. To earn your stay and meals, you help around the place and get back to the basics – no medicals, no electronics and no stress."

"How did you find out about that place, it's not somewhere I'm familiar with?"

"When I was suspended I went to St. Jude's to speak with Father John, he told me about it and I just need to call him at the cathedral to set it up. He helped me out, maybe it's what Spike needs, to help mend the wounds and start to deal with our traumas?" I whispered.

"It sounds like a perfect place to mend the bridges for you both, when do you leave?"

I looked at him and shook my head; this was a trip Spike needed to make with someone else who could talk to him and not become too emotional, someone who could be reasonable without the conversation turning into either a yelling match or getting pummelled into the drywall. I looked up to Parker and handed him the directions, his eyes looking directly into mine and all he could see was me pleading for his help.

"Mackenzie….." he started.

"Please take him up there and help him, I'm broken and I need time to sort my own head out and it's easier on me knowing that you have Spike's back. It's a lot to ask, but you were there for him when I wasn't, before I even arrived at the SRU – you supported him and he loves and trusts you, please?"

Spike was just coming back downstairs after talking to Sam and Wordy for a while, I turned back round to Parker and took his hands – I was desperate for his help knowing that if I interfered in this I would lose Spike.

"Please – I don't care about me but help him as I can't handle the stress I have put him through without causing more damage!" I whispered squeezing his hand.

Parker's instincts kicked in 100% and he grabbed me and pulled me in for a tight hug, he saw the signs of me getting triggered and pulled me tighter to keep me grounded – this was the lowest I had felt in months and he saw it immediately when I asked him for help earlier on. The three men walked in on us and stopped immediately as I was shaking in the boss's arms and they immediately turned Spike out of the room before he clicked to what was going on.

"You're alright Mac and I'll get Spike to talk if it's the last thing I do! You should have told me it was getting bad again, there is no shame in it – why didn't you tell me?" he whispered.

"Because I had it under control, I know how to handle the stress and deal with the aftermath of daily events – this is just too personal for me to deal with alone so I reached out for help to the one group of people I knew I trusted."

He squeezed me tighter and Wordy came in with a quiet knock on the door, I sniffed and pulled out of the embrace that Parker had me in; I dried my eyes on my sleeve and flashed a quick smile towards Wordy who just shook his head at me.

"I know what your trigger is Mac, that's why we took Spike upstairs again; feeling a little better since talking to the boss and getting some of the stress off your shoulders?"

I nodded and he pulled me in for a one armed hug and planted a kiss on my head for good luck.

"What's the plan, what are we going to do with Spike over the next week?"

"I'm taking him up to a sanctuary of sorts to get him talking and will be gone most of the week; there isn't much contact up there so it's okay if you don't hear anything. I need you guys to keep an eye on Mac and Dean for me, make sure they are eating and relaxing as much as possible?"

"Not an issue boss, we've got their backs and you have Spike's; I've packed him a bag and he's dressed warmly and I've removed the cannula and IVs into disposal which I can take to the unit on my way home. Do you want to come home for dinner with me?"

"No I'm good here today, but I'll text Dean and invite him over for dinner, think he was still having problems with that bio-chemistry report and it would be good to have him over. Actually, why doesn't everyone come over tonight, film night and chilli?" I reply.

"Bit short notice for the kids?" he replied.

"Kids over too – all of them – I have a week off and the house is empty and I would love company; gives you guys some time with your partners anyway and I can keep an eye on the kids and take them on trips – best therapy is a laughing kid!"

Wordy and Parker were looking at each other and smiling, I had bounced back from the trigger and told them I wanted the whole family and all the kids over, all ten of them – we had the room and the backyard was child-proofed so it was safe enough!

"Okay, but keep it mild for Shelley, she has some major heartburn recently!"

"Done, I'll make spicy and mild with all the trimmings!" I promised.

I dried my face again and headed through to where Spike was sitting with Sam, he got up and gave us some space so I could tell Spike what the plan was and who was going with him; I actually think he was grateful that it was me and I didn't take it personally – the long week without seeing each other would only strengthen our relationship and help each other.


	8. Chapter 8

After a week's downtime and the week away from Spike knowing he was getting help from the boss with some of his issues, I was ready to head back to work; only Sam and Wordy were aware of what was going on and Jules and Ed were oblivious to the state Spike was found in – I asked that it be kept secret for the time being until he was ready to face his demons. It had been a lonely week and tonight was when they were due to come back and finish their last extended days holiday at home, I was glad as I had read every book in the house and baked enough to keep the army in supplies till next march.

I was talking to Jules at the front reception when the elevator pinged in the background, seconds later Ed walked in with a spring in his step and grinned at us looking so much better than 10 days ago.

**Present Day**

Ed headed over to the changing rooms to get organised for his warm up in the gym with the men since Jules and myself had been here early due to the weather being unbearable due to the heat; we decided to play a prank on the men and turn up the heating in the gym and turn the hot water off in the showers – we could hear the squeaks of surprise coming from the shower room later on and burst out laughing as we had a coffee in the briefing room under the AC. Twenty minutes later the men came out of the shower room looking rather miserable and called for Winnie to check with Harry that the water pressure was working alright, she nodded and turned around to wink at us and grinned.

"Alright team, we're two men down until tomorrow so we have some rookies to deal with today from recruitment trials; Jules your with me for Irvine and Wordy your with Mac for Roberts. Both these guys are rookies but they have qualified and are on probation for the next month to see if they can settle down into the role without causing too many rough scrapes."

"Sounds super, what is the plan for the little cherubs?" I whispered.

Ed looked at me from where he was standing and glared, he had noticed something recently that he wasn't liking, that and the million phone calls and messages I hadn't replied too since I was away.

"Sorry Mac, didn't catch that comment – something you want to share?" Ed quipped.

"Yeah, what torture are we putting them through?" I replied bluntly, making no eye contact.

Jules looked at Wordy who just shook his head, Sam did the same thing with his eyes and I had noticed both their reactions to my question; Ed just looked at me and I shrugged my shoulders waiting on a reply from him.

"Okay, change of plan. Wordy you're with Sam, Jules with me and Mac can stay here and do inventory!" he started.

"What- that's not fair Ed!" I hissed out loud.

"Mac shut up before you're on inventory for the rest of the month!" Sam called gently.

"No, you need my help with the rookies and I am not doing inventory again, pick someone else!" I called back out.

Ed motioned to everyone to get ready for deployment and he pinned me to the seat with the glare he gave me, I rolled my eyes and slouched down on the chair as the rest of the team left the room and Ed hit the shutters. He spun me around in the chair and growled.

"What the hell is going on with you, you've been cranky to everyone the last couple of days and even the other teams have noticed – care to explain, or does this have to do with Parker and Spike disappearing for eight days?"

"I am perfectly fine and if the boss and Spike decided to go on a little trip together then it's their prerogative and I have no say on it!" I retorted hotly.

He pulled me off the chair and dragged me to the locker room and showed me the mirror that was hanging up, he spun it towards me and showed me my reflection; the woman looking back was very pale skinned, eyes too wide with dark circles under them. I shrugged him off and leaned against the counter trying to cool my temper that was boiling below my skin for the last few days.

"You didn't look this bad this morning, a little tired maybe, but you look exhausted and also like you haven't had a proper meal in a couple of days. So, do you want to try and explain to me the outburst again in the meeting room?"

"I'm a little snappy today alright and I'm sorry, I didn't mean to challenge you in front of everyone; I can do my role fine with Wordy and it frees up Sam to do the range if he needs to exercise his wrist." I stated getting out the locker.

I was pushed back onto the counter and looked round when I saw Sam walk round the corner to get his gear; he stopped dead in his tracks and saw what was going on. I rolled my eyes at both the men and took a deep breath as he came over to the locker and demanded to know what the hell was going on?

"I've been asking her the same question and she has done nothing but deflect, do you know what is going on? I've tried to get a hold of the boss and Spike with no answer and that is unlike either of them."

"Boss and Spike will be back on duty tomorrow as planned, they should be back tonight from their trip. Ed, why are you pushing her for information?" Sam replied.

"Because something is not right with her and I need my team on game so the rookies know what the job involves, have you not noticed the colour of her skin, the dark circles under her eye's?" he retorts pushing me back onto the counter.

"It's been a rough couple of weeks Ed and she has just recovered from some nasty injuries, your body can take a while to heal!" he replied.

"Pale skin, dark circles under the eyes, mood swings and short temper – haven't seen that side of you for a good while – do I need to contact the shrink for information?"

"Alright enough already – insomnia blows alright and I can't sleep so I decided to go hiking for a couple of days in the heat. I got back this morning and just haven't had breakfast yet!" I replied annoyed.

"You went hiking alone in this weather, where did you go?" Ed demanded.

"Ryker Ridge trail, my GPS unit is in my bag in the jeep if you don't believe me!" I hissed back.

Ryker Ridge was a notorious spot for people to go missing on if they weren't prepared for the sudden change in climate and surfaces of the trail, I knew what the area could be like so I was well prepared and had laid out a map and route with the local RCMP unit that monitors the trail and the hikers. The thing was, you weren't meant to do the trail alone due to the time of year; it was spring and the wildlife would be out in force and would have no trouble picking off people if they got too close to their young. Both Ed and Sam knew that and they were both very pissed off at me now, even more so than before.

"Ryker Ridge, you blew off six meal invites and company to go hiking in that hell hole alone, what the hell were you thinking huh?"

I had enough of the big brother attitude and shoved past them out of the locker; Sam kept Ed back from going after me and watched me walk off towards the main desk to get the inventory list from Winnie. I knew I was in trouble but had no wish to speak to anyone at the moment and I knew for a fact that I was definitely off Rookie detail today.

"Pushing her for information gets you no-where Ed, you know that as well as the rest of us – there are things going on that you don't know about; things I think Wordy and I should explain and which should give some clarity on her behaviour!"

"Thought the ground rule was no secrets in the team?" Ed hissed back.

"Yeah well this one is a minefield and we all missed the safety briefing!" Sam replied.


	9. Chapter 9

**An hour later**

I was in the range letting some steam off with the Remmie and trying to tighten off my shots into a neat pattern, unfortunately what my aim and my target showed was very different; instead of a clear 3 shot triangle I had shotgun blasts all over the place and my grip was really unsteady. I made the rifle safe and hit the target button to set up a new marker while I stretched my fingers and took some deep breathes to calm down my breathing.

"Alright Fraser, get a grip and focus!" I whispered to myself reloading the ammo.

I took my stance and looked down the scope aiming my shot up with the target, I touched the trigger and sighed – I had completely missed the target.

The rest of the team were in the briefing room glued to their seats as Wordy and Sam explained what had happened over a week ago, Jules was near tears as she put it together over the last couple of months and how some days both Spike and I would come in either exhausted, hobbling or in a foul temper. Ed was just staring at the wall, everyone knew that look and knew that he was angry with himself for not acting on the signs he had seen and helped a member of his team, of his family out.

"So on top of everything else going on she has been dealing with the emotional fallout from Spike without any help? How the hell did we miss this?" Jules whispers.

"They hid it well but with Spike breaking down like that in the graveyard she had no option but to ask for help. When the boss was talking to her in the kitchen she nearly triggered, the stress she must have been under to keep them both sane and not slip up at work – we cannot let this happen to anyone again guys!" Wordy replied gently.

That snapped Ed's head up, he knew i wasn't feeling well and the news of me nearly triggering was enough for the alarm bells to sound at full volume; Ed had pretty much adopted me as another daughter and Sophie was always trying to get me around for meals for the last week but I declined them, least they knew why now and where I had been for the last couple of days. He got off his seat and made a beeline towards Winnie, she indicated the range light was on and he made a direct run at the long corridor towards the indoor range. I had just packed up the Remmie and cleaned up the spent shell casing when the door opened and Ed came in, I looked up at him and I knew instantly that he had been told by the look on his face. He pulled me to him and told me to keep it bottled for another five minutes until we got out of the building towards the lab. I held it back in and climbed into the mobile lab the HM unit kept at the SRU and I sat on the chair with my head in my hands; Ed picked me up and I burst out in tears into his vest as he held me.

"I am so sorry, I had no idea!"

"Not your fault, I should have asked for help earlier – I didn't listen to my own instincts and I could have got him killed!" I whispered.

He wrapped his arms around me tightly and let me get my grief out, this was a little too close for comfort and Ed swore he would get to the bottom of this problem between us and communication.

I had been sent home in the aftermath of the rest of the team finding out what was going on in the last couple of months, our shift was nearly done with the rookies and I needed to get stuff organised for Spike coming home tonight,. I made promises to Wordy that I would call if I needed anything; he was going to be my contact for the next couple of days that we were down until requalification for the weapons board. I had went for a boiling shower and completed the housework, even baked a bundle of cakes and started a dish up for dinner tonight – then I heard the car pull up outside and two voices who sounded exhausted.

I turned around from the kitchen and stood waiting for them in the hallway, I had no idea what to expect and I was half ready to bolt if both men didn't come through that door at least a small smile on their faces.

"Hey Mac, look who the monks threw out!" the boss joked.

Spike walked up the stairs and looked so much better physically than he had been the previous week, he looked up at Parker and me once he closed the door and smiled gently and went bright red as he saw me looking at him; he walked over to me and wiped some flour I had on my cheek, his eyes looked right into mine and he grabbed me for a massive hug which sent Parker into a chuckle and he headed to put on the kettle for some tea.

We all sat at the table an hour later after Spike and Greg went over what happened during the week and the issues they managed to deal with or at least start on the healing process; I was right in saying it was mainly my fault even though both men tried to put it into a different context and lay blame to many different causes. I shook my head at them and told them exactly that I was to blame and accepted that and then apologised to both of them.

"It's water under the bridge and we're now dealing with the waterfall now, it's a lot better than before because I can deal with the fallout with family and friends; I know I scared the shit out of you in the graveyard and I am so sorry for my behaviour…" Spike started.

I put my fingers to his lips and shook my head.

"Don't apologise for behaviour I have displayed, not in my house Michelangelo Scarlatti – now – dinner in twenty minutes so why don't you and the boss go get ready and I'm half expecting another five people soon since your home!"

True to the truth being black and white the front door went ten minutes later and I called on them to come in, they all trooped in and I handed them plates and drinks and told them to get comfortable in the living room. I had made a massive pasta dish with all the sides they liked and I heard them greet Greg and Spike as they met up – Jules was blubbering slightly at Spike but big little sisters do that sometimes!

"How you holding up having him back?" a voice called gently.

I turned around as I was looking out the backdoor and saw Greg walking in with the empty water jug, I wiped my face and smiled as I took it off him and made some more squash.

"I'm alright just getting my balance back and finding my footing – been a shitty week boss!"

"Yeah so they are telling me but he is doing remarkably well and I'm finding him fit for duty by Monday without issue and that gives you four days to get things sorted between you. But I did discover one thing!"

"Oh, you discovered he sings softly in his sleep?" I said genuinely.

He looked at me and I grinned.

"What I discovered is that his temper is as hot blooded as you and I'm going to have to be wary putting you on tactical – you'd scare the crap out of anyone!"

I burst out laughing and nodded as I explained that Italians and Scottish people have a very short fuse but a long memory for injustices and crimes committed against their people – makes us ruthless when needed. Another figure joined us and it was Ed who wanted to speak to me for a moment alone, I handed the juice to the boss and winked at him as I looked at Ed and shrugged my shoulders as he hugged me.

A couple of hours later the kids came to join us in the living room and Wordy and Shelley's daughters were looking for some music to sing along too, Wordy grabbed his guitar from the cupboard and I sat beside the piano as we went over a couple of options on what to sing.

"Wordy's little ones are looking for a song that they have never heard of before, needs to be magical and have an element of surprise!" Jules said laughing.

I looked at Spike and he nodded as he explained to Wordy what I was going to do, he nodded and I stretched my fingers out on the keys and struck up the tune from the song I played in Italy for Spike's family. No-one but Spike had heard me sing this before and by the time I had turned back round there wasn't a dry eye in the house and the girls were sitting there with their mouths wide open and jumped on me for a hug.

"Where the hell did that come from?" Greg asked slightly choked up.

"Aileen Duinne means Brown Haired Alan in Gaelic – sea captain who drowned while on his way to marry his woman, she killed herself in despair a few months later. Why is everyone crying – it's a beautiful song!" I explained.

"She had the same effect on my family, she's got a real talent in those fingers and voice, especially for songs like that – and you made Ed cry – think that's a first!" Spike replied.

I chucked the box of hankies to him and he manly sniffed and dried his face as I chuckled.

"Aunty Mackenzie can you sing that song from Halloween, the lulls-lullaby?"

I had Allie on my knee and I nodded as I grinned and rolled my eyes at the rest of them drying their faces; I spun back round with Allie still on my knee and hit the keys for the new song and I could feel Wordy and Shelley glare at me as they recognised the tune. I quickly morphed into another tune favourite that had Allie holding onto me since my feet were hitting the pedals and my fingers flying over the keys really fast. She was laughing as I was singing along for her and her sisters who were dancing about the room with the adults looking on laughing and taking photos. Spike was spinning Jules about the place to keep the kids entertained – the adults loved it!

We helped the adults get the kids into the cars and safely away home with a promise to call them tomorrow evening to organise some time away for the girls and boys separately; we nodded and headed back to the house to find Jules and Sam had cleaned up for us and were grabbing their coats before coming back to us in the hallway. Sam gave me a massive hug and ordered me to call him if anything happens like this again as he considers Spike a brother, I nodded and made the promise to Jules too to keep her happy; they both headed off with a goodie bag of cake and brownies and a smile on their faces as they saw us cuddle in the doorway as they headed off in the car. I turned back to Spike who closed the door and pulled me into a deep cuddle where we stood for a few moments.

"Wordy told me that you nearly triggered in the kitchen that day, are you alright – I know I am seriously late to ask!"

"I'm good it was just the shock and stress – no bad issues apart from not seeing you for a week. Honestly, do you feel like you have started healing?" I replied.

He looked at me and nodded before kissing me and brushing my hair out my face, I leaned into him and pulled him in tighter for a hug and grinned as he pinned me to the wall by my wrists as he rocked his hips into mine. I looked up at him and saw the raw emotion he was holding back for me, it didn't scare me now and was more of a delight to see since he could now control it. I leaned up and kissed him gently and he started pulling off my shirt and trousers as I did the same to him once he started to kiss me back with a passion; we stripped each other as much as possible and he grabbed my hips and pushed me up onto the wall and wrapped my legs around his hips as he slid into me with a contented sigh and a gasp – I let my head fall back as I moved my spine and sunk further down onto him and took him to the root. He started to kiss me and move and I was just holding onto his arms and biting into his neck and collar bone as he went harder and faster; I gripped tighter onto him with my legs as he took us to the floor and raised my hips for greater penetration and I screamed as he hit that spot repeatedly and he replied as I dragged my nails down his back as we came hard and fast together.

We lay there trying to remember how to breathe, he wasn't finished though and rolled me on top of him and moved, my eyes rolled back and I gripped his hands as I set the pace, he got impatient though and switched back so I was below him again and being ground into the floorboards by his thrusts and loved every moment of it. A few minutes later we were both on our backs on the floor catching our breaths, that was incredibly intense and I knew we would both be sore tomorrow unless we went for a hot bath.

– in the end we had to have a shower after the bath!


	10. Chapter 10

True enough we were both on some painkillers in the morning but decided to go for a quick jog to help burn off the muscle spasms, we hit the main track outside the park and decided to go for the four mile route across the bottom of the hill and across the bridge where the river was. We got to that point relatively quickly and found a group of people screaming at someone in the river, we both dashed over to the group and watched in horror as two people were trying to stay afloat on the rocks while the current was trying to overpower them.

"Spike, call it in, I'm going down!" I yelled.

"Not without safety equipment you're not!" he said grabbing my arm.

I pointed down to the rising flood waters and the stranded men.

"Don't have time, the river is rising because of the weather in the mountains and the tide coming in – this is a salt water river and once it reaches the rocks they are dead. I've done this before with Sam, more or less!" I replied looking over the railings.

He looked at the men and then at me, he knew I was a strong swimmer and would do everything safely that I could, but this was dangerous as fuck and he was not happy; he ripped out his phone and gave me a deep kiss as he started to dial.

"Keep your Bluetooth on at all times, anything goes sideways then you get the hell out of there alright and that's an order!" he demanded.

People just looked at me and a couple had lots of rope that was all knotted together to be used as a guide rope; I got them to tie it securely to the fencing and to pass it down to me once I reached the riverside. They nodded to me and Spike had finished calling it in and tried to stop me due to the seriously dangerous swim I was going to have to take, I pulled him to the side and told him to keep control of the rope and remember his scuba signals – they were getting pulled up and swung across the water to the bank where support can pull them in. He nodded and with a swift kiss I headed down the hill and into the deep woods where I was slipping and sliding due to the mud and thorn bushes, definitely was going to need a tetanus booster after this! I managed to get to the side of the river and the two men were clinging onto the rocks as hard as possible when they needed to relax and let their bodies move with the current while securing their hold; I shouted over to them and they did as I commanded before I got Spike to lower the rope and I wrapped it around under my arms and dove into the water. The river wasn't going full tilt but the current was seriously taxing my strength and I just managed to snag the rocks and climb onto the boulders beside the two men.

"What the hell are you both doing down here?" I demanded.

The younger man pulled out a weapon and aimed it at the older man and myself, I rolled my eyes internally and got into a more stable position as training kicked in and I defended the older man who was clearly terrified.

"Easy Sir, probably not the best choice you're going to make in the next 90 seconds and its getting a little dicey down here on the river." I stated calmly as I stood in front of the older man.

_'What the hell are you doing?' a voice hissed in my ear._

"Sir, I'm not here to interfere in your business but we need to get you guys off this rock and back onto the bridge before the river sets, can we agree that no-one here wants to die?"

The older man nodded and I could hear the rescue teams above me arrive and talk to Spike who was co-ordinating the local PD and SRU team who had arrived on scene; it was Brian from team three who must be in the truck as I heard his voice in my ear giving me a berating for being worse than Sam when it comes to rescues. The river began to swell again and the waters were becoming very muddy from the passage along the mountains, this could be really bad if we don't get off the rocks shortly as the added mud is a massive swimming challenge; I looked at the two men again and pointed to the water.

"Sir the waters are speeding up and I don't even want to go swimming in this and I'm a trained diver, we need to get you guys lifted off the rocks with the winches and then you can air all your grievances in safety. Both of you are soaking wet and have been down here for a while by my guess, do you want hypothermia to set in – trust me it's not fun!" I stated trying the old reality check on him.

He glared at me and continued to point the weapon at us both as his eyes darted around the place, I could tell he was trying to figure out how to get out of this one but it was a no-go due to the sudden increase in water from the mountains.

"Fine, put the old cripple up first – hurry up!" he demanded.

I nodded and clicked my headset.

"Guys, lower the winch with a support bracket, the guys are coming up!" I called.

Two minutes later the bracket arrived and I was helping the older man into the harness, I whispered to him about who I was and what the plan was when he reached the top of the bridge, he nodded and as I knelt down to secure the lines around the bracket the other man pulled the trigger point blank into the guy's head. I was forced to my stomach by the guys weight and felt the blood run down my back from the head wound inflicted by the bullet; I managed to pull out from under him and checked for a pulse – half his head was gone.

"Why the hell did you do that – what had he ever done to you?" I demanded angry.

I could hear the teams on the bridge fall back and knew they had taken aim from their locations on the bridge and were all locked onto the younger man's body – I glared at him as I got to my feet and wiped off the blood across one side of my face.

The man in front of me was whooping in joy and laughing his head off.

"Oh man that was a rush – seriously thought you would be freaking out about seeing someone being murdered! Oh well, tie your hands up as I want to play with your buddies on the bridge, see if they can play Russian roulette as well as I can?" he stated.

"Bite me!" I hissed, lunging for the weapon as he was distracted.

He dodged out of the way and back handed me across the base of my neck and I slid on the blood running from the dead man, I landed heavily on my back across the ragged boulder and hissed as my hip took the brunt of the impact.

I saw it then, the change in his personality from a submissive to a dominant to a crazy assed gun wielding lunatic! I could hear Spike whispering into my ear, telling me to keep calm and not do anything rash, I looked up and signalled to them with a flick of my hand. The response was instant and firm negative and if I attempted it I would be hung when I was recovered.

"Sir I don't know what your plans are but the water isn't your major problem here; you have just killed someone in front of witnesses, the SRU team and I - there is nowhere for you to go apart from up and into custody. Give me the weapon and I can get you out of here, get you secured and deal with whatever problems you're having; you're other options are about to be exhausted by one single word if that weapon is raised again towards me."

He had finished tying my hands tightly with the rope I had brought with me and I knew that I was going to be screwed for climbing out of here if the need comes; the knot was old school and secure. The man looked at me and within seconds the demeanour changed and the other personality was back in play.

"Sir your options are limited here, the SRU don't mess about when lives are at risk and considering you just took an innocent life in front of them – they want this resolved," I stated clearly.

The man looked at me and back handed me across the face, I went down on my knee and spat out the blood from the cut his ring caused across my lower lip; I glared at him and looked up at the top right corner of the bridge and saw Sierra.

"Hate to tell you this but you have a sniper on you for that and since I know him, he doesn't miss his targets; hit me again and the last thing you will see is a bullet going into your brain!" I hissed back.

"Who the hell are you, how the hell do you know so much about what they do?" he said trying to listen in on my Bluetooth he had ripped out my ear.

"I'm SRU dumbass, why the hell do you think I was trying to negotiate with you, to end this without bloodshed so you had at least a chance of seeing outside prison again in your lifetime. Trust me, at any moment the teams Sergeant will give the order and you will be history, drop you weapon and surrender yourself, it's the only way you can live!" I replied calming down.

I could see the others on the bridge, could see Spike with the binoculars staring at me and making the sign for 'OK', I nodded and then it went pear shaped again as I was spun around in front of the man and grabbed by the neck. I could see every firearm on the bridge being aimed at the man and heard the shuffle of another sierra to my left – I glanced at the woods and saw a shock of blond hair and a flash of a badge – Sam!

"LOWER YOUR WEAPONS AND GET RID OF THE SNIPERS – ONE WRONG MOVE AND SHE IS FISH FOOD – DO IT – NOW!" the man yelled.

I saw the men being signalled to stand down and clocked that the bridge was still fully trained and armed on both of us, I looked down at the water that was now coming over our shoes and I could see the man trying to figure out what to do – he was panicking.

"Sir, let them send down the harness for you, you know there is no way out of this unless it's by handcuffs or a body bag – surrender to me and I'll make sure they understand what is going on with you; make sure that they realise you are struggling," I whispered clearly.

The man's personality had switched again to the submissive, he looked around kindly and saw my hands that were tied in front of me, he looked at me and he looked afraid; I moved away from him gently and held up my hands in peace.

"It's alright I understand what's going on and I want to help – are you willing to surrender and let me get you the support you need?"

He nodded and handed me the weapon, I unloaded it and threw the weapon to the riverside in the direction of Sam, I then got my headset back off him and looked up at the harness that was halfway down the height of the bridge.

"Guys send it down, situation resolved!" I called.

"Copy that Fraser, your ass is in a heap of trouble!" replied a voice.

_'Oh shit, Ed and Sam must be covering today!' I thought._

The harness lowered and I got the man to step in and I secured him to the rope lines and into position to be raised, he was terrified but I calmed him down and turned my back to unlock the dead man from the ropes.

I was yanked up by my hair and felt a sharp blade against my throat, I could hear the call from the team, could hear the frustration in their voices as the order was delayed due to the man not being mental fit – in these kind of calls it was a medical decision not to be taken lightly since it can have massive repercussions for the public response. The blade went slightly deeper and I felt the warm trail run down my neck; I hissed at the bite and the fear now kicking in since the water was pushing us backwards off the rock as it hit our knees.

"Get the men off the bridge and get them to lower their weapons – I want out of here!"

I nodded and clicked my headset while I looked at the left side and signalled to Sam to be prepared to take the shot if he saw it; I looked up at the bridge and swallowed as I saw Spike gripping the railings and beside him was Parker who had been called.

"Officer Johnson – you there buddy?" I called loudly over the river.

"I'm here Mac, Sierra in position and we have your back!" he replied.

"Sir, I'm going to contact the snipers and get them to fall back, I'm just letting you know in case you see movement on the right hand side ok?" I informed the man.

He nodded and moved me as a human shield as he dug the knife in slightly deeper, I winced and growled at him as he gripped my neck and faced the right side of the river.

_'Good girl Mac! Give the order when you're ready!' _

"Sir the snipers are out of position and the only people left on the bridge are the winch man and emergency services; it's on my order they will raise you up and get you to safety."

He nodded and I suddenly dropped to my knees and screamed.

"SCORPIO!" I commanded.

The bullet hit the brain stem and I heard the body splash backwards into the river, I also felt the pull of the rope catch onto my half undone wrists and I got pulled waist deep into the river and grabbed a hold of the rocks as the current overtook my strength and I was pulled away in the water. I took multiple deep breaths and aimed my feet downwards, trying to find a bank that was further out so I could catch onto a large tree root and climb on board – thankfully after a few moments I found one and hauled myself onto it after making sure it was stable and solid.

The Bluetooth was dead and I dragged myself onto the embankment and crawled up onto the higher ground though the tree line and onto the old pathway; I lay there like the dead as I caught my breath and stretched off the adrenaline rush and laughed – which quickly turned into crying and dragging myself against a tree and curling up with my knees to my chest and having a panic attack.


	11. Chapter 11

I knew I had been dragged about a mile down river by the speed of the water and I was lame in every muscle due to the strength of the current and pulling myself out of the surf, I managed to get on my feet and climbed the small hill and pathway to the main bridge marker that was about a half mile away. I limped as I hit the trail and heard the SUV coming at speed down the pathway, I sat at the side of the road and leaned against a massive tree as they spotted me and Ed and Brian came running out across to me.

"Team we've made contact with Fraser, marker 35 on the trail – send EMS!" Ed ordered.

I was in Ed's arms with a huge blanket around me and he was putting some dressings on my scrapes and bruises that were blooming all over my legs and arms, I was a hell of a lot calmer now since I got the mixed bag of emotions out of my system and sorted out what the hell happened in my head – I was just happy to see anyone! EMS arrived and twenty minutes later I was sitting in the back of the ambulance with thermal blankets wrapped around me, Brian had just finished yelling at me for putting myself in danger again to save people – he was furious because he knew me from Bastion and was well aware of what I was capable of in the job and outside, but this was a step too far on a day off!

The other SUV screeched to a halt and Spike came running up to me and swept me off my feet in a massive hug, he had been crying and by my guesses Parker had to calm him down again – great, that was going to cause problems! I kissed him and showed him that apart from a couple of bruises I was perfectly fine and not traumatized, I also apologised to him for giving him a scare and re-assured him I was alright; Parker and Ed came over after a few moments and ordered me to the barn for debrief and a hot shower, neither of them were happy. I nodded, rolled my eyes behind their backs and Spike helped me into the SUV that was taking me back to the barn, he held my hand all the way there and would not let go even inside the building; making sure that he could hear me at all times once I was showering and getting warm again.

Thirty minutes after arrival at the barn I stepped out of the changing room and saw team three and half of team one waiting on me in the gym, none of them looked happy and I was ordered into the briefing room where I was handed a blanket and a huge mug of tea and ordered to sit on my ass and shut up. I did as I was 'asked' and took a deep breath as the room filled up and the shutters came down over the door and the blinders closed; I really was in deep shit – not the best way to end the day but I didn't ask for him to pull a weapon out and kill the other man. The leaders of the team, Parker and Ed sat down opposite me, Spike and Sam were behind me with the rest of the others, the atmosphere in the room was colder than the river – this was going to be nasty.

"Would you care to explain to us all in this room how your day went from a nice quiet jog in the woods to a rescue in the river turning into a lethal shot being taken? Because if I am right, and I have my moments, you aren't on duty today and you deliberately put yourself into a dangerous situation and ended up at the working end of a knife, a 40mm and then taking a swim in a swollen river and nearly being drowned – and that was after calling a Scorpio shot." Brian started.

"We were jogging, saw a crowd of people on the bridge and then my training kicking in, I reacted after doing a split second assessment as I am trained to do and the results outweighed the risks. It was a simple operation to remove them by harness and then secure them until support arrived; I didn't even see the weapons in play until they were trained on us, by then the situation had turned south and there was nothing I could do but try and negotiate for release." I replied matter of factly.

"And what happened next?" he demanded.

"The man holding the firearm began splitting, going from confused to concerned, distraught to focused; my guess he was suffering from MPD, BPD and also HTSS – his mood was unpredictable and there was also signs of CMB, possible heavy regular use." I stated.

"Do you want to dumb that down for us, not all of us have a nursing degree!" Brian stated sharply.

I snapped my eyes up to him and growled.

"Then do yourself a favour and read a book, there is even ones with pictures if you need it!" I replied sharply.

Both of us had stood up and the whole room was tense, Sam shoved me back on my seat as Parker eased down Brian who was furious, I knew not at me, but with the whole situation that we all knew was out of his hands due to the angles involved. Sam kept his hands on my shoulder and squeezed lightly to tell me to calm myself down and take a breather; I looked at Brian – I couldn't even look at the boss or Ed who were just staring at me.

"I knew what I was doing and what could happen if things went south and I accepted that the moment I made my decision to go help them on the rocks, my training kicked in, all of my training and I was hyper aware of what was going on and where it was happening – how do you think I was able to communicate with Spike and Sam by hand signs – because I trained them in scuba language so they knew my intentions – I was never alone down there and I am better in water than you know, I've swam in some of the wildest waters in the world and survived – sure as hell not letting a swollen river in Toronto beat me!" I replied.

"You were in the direct line of fire on numerous counts, you had a deranged man with a knife against your throat – you could have been killed in front of…..do you….can you see the problems we are seeing here Mackenzie – we know you knew what you were doing – it's how quickly you put yourself into the situation that is causing us concern. We trust you and would follow you anywhere because you have proved yourself some many times beforehand – but this was reckless and it screams out to us all that you may be slipping back into old habits and require help – don't you use that?" Ed hissed.

I sat there with my mouth half open at that statement from Ed, did I actually hear him properly – he thinks I need help after this afternoons events?

"Ed I did my job, I feel like shit that it was a complete failure but I sure as hell don't need help, I'll go to the shrink for a decompression debrief, but I've had enough of shrinks in my lifetime – boss if you want to talk to me then fine, but no to the shrink!" I replied.

"I'm agreeing with everyone else, you have a compulsory meeting with Dr Walker tomorrow afternoon to talk about what went down today, I will be in the room if you want me there so no decisions are made against you unless deemed worthy." Parker replied.

"Boss this is unfair, I did my job…."

"What you should have done was negotiate from the bridge and not put yourself in danger, I told you it was a bad judgement call and I could have lost you on numerous occasions today – you're going to the shrink and you're going to get everything out or I swear to god I will strangle you myself and make sure you never work for the SRU again!"

I looked at Spike in shock, the whole room was silent at the outburst and I bit back a really nasty comment, knowing he was just angry and scared from the incident. I nodded and told Parker I would be at the meeting if he would send me the details once he found them out and I hit the buttons to open the shutter and walked out of the SRU. I headed to the car I had left here and got in, it took me twenty minutes to get home and I climbed into the bed five minutes later and cried – Spike had never humiliated me before and to do it at work was unforgivable as it made me appear weak.

Back at the barn the room had emptied apart from Spike, Parker and Ed who were watching him pace about the room; he was furious and neither of the other men knew what do say to get him to calm down – Ed flinched as he remembered what Spike had shouted at me.

"Spike I get that you are seriously pissed off and not at Mac, but you just humiliated her in front of everyone she works with and gave her an ultimatum about her job; a job she loves and has worked really hard to excel at!" Greg said gently.

"You didn't see how quickly she jumped into action on that bridge, how quickly she took charge and put herself at risk – I thought I was screwed up during our week away – did anyone check on how she was handling it – to see if she needed the support I got?" he retorted.

"Of course we did and you are well aware of that – Ed and the rest of the team only found out two days ago what had happened and they were distraught they had missed the signs and not come to help you both sooner! She disappeared for two days to go hiking up in Ryker Ridge without telling anyone her plans, we were furious when we found out and I sorted her out the day you arrived home – how do you think she was finished early when we were two men down in the team with no support?" Sam replied.

Spike was still pacing the room but was a little slower and had calmed his breathing down to think straight about what had been said during the meeting. I had used my judgement, I had back-up and asked Spike to call for back-up immediately from the ERS due to possible equipment we might need for rescue; I had training I relied on and I told him my plans – the weapons were out of my control and I used my natural instincts when push came to shove. He sat down on the end chair hard, rubbing his face as he figured it out and mentally kicked himself in the head repeatedly, he was going to have to seriously apologise and smooth things over with the other teams. Ed and Greg both looked at each other and nodded to the rest of the guys to leave them alone for a moment while they dealt with a small matter of who might need back up once they dropped Spike home – me or him?

"You have three days left before you're due to come back on shift and you need to make this right with her Spike, you are both loved and too hot headed when it comes to each other sometimes – but she did right today and she had to only apologise for scaring us with the water stunt and the Scorpio she had to call – SIU may have a field day with that one on top of her already being sued for medical malpractice. She has to deal with a lot of different aspects of this role on top of what has happened recently and she is doing remarkably well for herself with no guidance – but you have to stop second guessing her judgement – she's military and SF trained by the same guys who trained Sam, she is a qualified sniper and medic and she is a member of Toronto's number one SWAT team! That is a tall order for a young woman of 29 years old who had a rocky landing in her career and then bounced back – this could destroy her and that is something none of us want!" Ed cautioned.

Spike just stood up and ran out the door towards the main entrance, neither of the other men followed him and they both just looked at each other and smirked.

"God help them when they have kids – half Italian half Scottish – god helps us if they join SRU!"

"He has kind of proposed, before the breakdown, they thought she was pregnant – it was the added stress that broke him down – we'll need to keep an eye on them for a bit – keep them off tactical unless necessary!"

"Copy that boss!" Ed replied.

I had calmed down after letting everything out on the bed and had got all the anger out with some well-aimed throws of the knives in the back fence, apparently no squirrels come into our garden now! I was sitting at the piano waiting on the phone call I knew would be coming my way once Spike left the SRU – Keira was good that way, always giving me a heads up if I was going to get it in the eyeballs if he has had a bad day. I heard the car pull up an hour or so later when I was on the couch, I wanted to see him and talk to him but I also wanted to shoot the bastard in the knee caps for what he did – I got up and paced the room as the door opened; I turned around to be faced with Spike waving a white flag through the door.

I stood there looking at him as he entered the house and closed the door behind himself, I had no anger left at him and it was just the end of the adrenaline leaving my body as my shoulders started to shake and I cried again; he walked over to me and just held me tight.

"Oh god, forgive me - please?" he whispered as he cradled me to his chest and let his own tears fall.


	12. Chapter 12

We didn't leave the house for the next two days apart from going to the scheduled shrink appointment and to get groceries, both of us were still slightly on edge with each other and it was making us both really edgy and moody; we needed to get the unresolved issues out from under our skin before going back to work or neither of us would be ready to deal with the stress of the calls and outcomes.

I was loading up the fridge and freezer with supplies and decided on what dinner was going to be when Spike pulled me to him and kissed me deeply, brushing my hair out of my face and cupping my ass to hold me closer to him – I could feel every inch of him and knew what he wanted since I had shut him out for the last two days – enough was enough though. I curled my hands around his shoulders and pushed the freezer drawer closed with my foot as I pulled on his shirt, getting it out of his trousers and sending buttons left right and centre. He pulled me into the hallway and pulled my own top off me as he slammed me up against the wall and trailed kisses across my neck and collar bone, going further down as his thumb traced the silk of my bra and slipped the clasp free at my spine and pulling my bra off, I gasped as his mouth replaced his thumb and I cradled his head as my other hand went lower to tease him through his trousers – it had been too long and he was so swollen – I grinned at the small victory I had over him as punishment. His mouth moved to my other breast and my spine bowed into his body and I growled as I pulled him up to face me and get his own clothes off him so I could repay the favour.

"You drive me nuts Mackenzie – always putting your own safety last – I need to keep you safe – make you mine again!" he hissed as I yanked out his belt and pulled him through the zipper.

He moved my hands and pulled off my own trousers and underwear as I did the same to him, he pushed me onto the wall and I grasped the bars in the stairs and wrapped my legs around his waist as he raised me up and slammed into me; I cried out and moved slightly to ease the ache of his sudden entry – he was so swollen it was stretching me and my head was rolling back as he began to move and kiss me at the same time. I grasped his shoulders and leaned in to kiss him hard as I twisted slightly and felt him shudder – he always liked that move and I felt him speed up slightly as he could feel me getting closer. He leaned me against the angled part of the wall and used gravity to keep me still as he pounded into me hard as he sucked and nibbled across my breasts and stomach; with a slight change in position I was crying out around him as I came hard and begged him to stop which he refused to do and pulled us to the floor as he pushed me through my orgasm and kept on going harder and harder. He raised my knee's to cradle his hips and I dragged my nails down his back as I bit sharply into his shoulder, I could taste his sweat and natural smell, he cried out as I took back a little control and tried to flip us over; he immediately blocked the manoeuvre and swivelled his hips into mine and my head rolled back again as the added friction made him hit my g-spot hard.

"Spike…..please….." I begged.

He shook his head and kept on pounding into me, never relenting as played with my clit to get me to come again quickly – I did and I was nearly screaming as he punished me by pounding away and biting my breasts again. I looked into his eyes and all I saw was the fear he was holding onto, I cradled him close as I felt his sweat land between us and him raise my hips for a better angle again – I was exhausted and he hadn't come once yet – but I knew he was really close by his breathing and the full tight feeling lower down.

"I need to keep you safe, and if you get pregnant – then you can't join us on active calls!" he hissed.

He flipped me over and the added depth the position gave us made him bottom out in me and he played with my clit again hard, my head and eyes rolled back as he gripped my hips and we both cried out loudly as we came hard – I landed on his chest and felt his tears as he cuddled me close – apologising for being rough.

Had I heard him right – he wants to get me pregnant so I can't be on active duty?

He nuzzled me and we lay there for a few minutes before he helps me up and we go for a long hot shower, he doesn't mention what he said again but we seriously needed to talk about such a massive life event – think I really scared him this time!

I was hobbling about in the kitchen later that evening making dinner and trying to get my head around what he had said to me, I was still half in shock and half feeling like I had been used as a human punch bag. He grinned at me as he walked into the room with a bottle of beer for me and I took it to give my mind something else to think about apart from the complete need to repay the punishment meted out to me.

"We need to talk about earlier; god I loved it but you used me!" I whispered.

His eyes snapped up to me and I had shocked him – he hadn't seen it as 'using me'; but had seen it as a very intense sex session that left both of us incredibly satisfied and slightly sore; I still couldn't sit down properly after an incredibly hot bath and a bout of gentle stretching that normally helps – the deep bruises weren't helpful either!

"What you said to me about getting me pregnant so I couldn't put myself in danger – that was out of line – the children we may have – they will come from love and not a punishment fuck because you were wrong and I kept you at arm's length for two days."

"Mac I don't know what came over me, but I would never use you like that – I can't even apologise properly because I enjoyed doing it to you – I felt fear and my insticts took over – I want and need you safe, my fears come true Mac!"

"Then if that was primal fear, you still have some serious issues to deal with and you need to go back and see the doctor, I understand that you got one hell of a fright and I fully respect that you now know the full story of what was said down there on the rocks – but I was safe and knew how to handle myself and you need to stop second guessing me at work. You could have driven me away, you know my triggers and what you said hurt!" I whispered.

He stood up to face me from the table and I was wary of what he was going to do as I don't think my body could handle any more of his 'primal fear' at the moment; he saw I was hobbling and stopped immediately.

"I hurt you didn't I, I actually hurt you?" he whispered.

"I'm a little tender but as I said I loved it – I knew you would never physically hurt me on purpose but I am begging you to go and see the doctor again!" I replied.

I walked up to him and kissed him as I snuggled into his chest and he wrapped his arms around me, finally just picking me up and taking me to rest on the couch with him; I sighed as he laid me over his legs and I snuggled under the blanket as he put a movie on.

"This better not have sex scenes in it Spike!" I whispered.

I could feel the laughter he was holding onto and poked his chest as he burst out laughing at the joke, he rubbed my lower back and I snuggled in.


	13. Chapter 13

**Two months later**

I watched in silence as the armed man dragged his hostage into the middle of the field and dropped him with a well-placed kick in the middle of the back, the hostage never moved again and I continued to watch as the boss and two of the team moved slowly towards him behind their shields, at least trying to negotiate the armed man down who had raised his weapon to the other man's head.

"Sierra's hold fire, Team hold!"

We all 'copied' the order and kept on watching as Spike and Sam covered the boss and made their way to the centre of the playing field so Parker could begin his spiel, the weather had taken a drastic downturn and was wild with the downpour of rain, heavy wind and the amazing thunder and lightning storm above our heads; the options for tactical takedown were officially limited due to the weather and Ed wasn't happy about it. A low rumble of thunder and then an almighty crash had me scanning across from my location and I saw where Sierra One had been position was now a burning stump from the lightning hit.

"Sierra One are you injured – come in Sierra One!" I demanded.

"Sierra One unharmed but position is compromised, Sierra Two is now in play!" he replied.

_"Copy that – Sierra One's position has been compromised and Sierra Two is now Sierra One – copy that boss?" a voice from the truck called out._

I settled back to my position as I clocked Ed make his way to where Jules was and being organised to provide secondary back up as required, I turned back to the middle of the field and watched as the armed man waved his weapon wildly in the air and then take a step forward towards the boss.

"Sierra One. Sierra One – Scorpio"

I pulled my trigger and seconds later the man dropped to the ground dead and I watched as Spike and Sam made their way to the downed man and got him checked out while Parker took control of the hostage. I knelt up from my position and after securing my rifle I took a couple of deep breathes and shivered since I was soaking wet from the weather and being out in the open had turned me into a human ice sculpture; I sighed as I also realised that I had about a half mile walk to make as well and then surrender to SIU. I huffed out my last deep breath and climbed down the frame of the playground cabin and started my walk down the hill towards the vehicle staging area where I was stared at by the other cops on the scene. By the time I got to the trucks location the SIU and EMTs were checking the team and hostage for any harm while the others were removing the dead body after checking the crime scene; I walked over to where Inspector Strachan was and surrendered myself into his custody. The rest of the team were gathering evidence, talking to the hostage with the EMTs or giving statements as required for my defence; I climbed into the car and was driven back to the barn for interrogation and a change of clothes.

Three hours later after being questioned and put under notice of investigation I was allowed out of the room and headed straight to the showers so I could warm up, stripping to remove my uniform for evidence is one thing, getting warmed up was another when they just handed you your gym kit and no towel to dry yourself! After a really long hot shower and making myself a massive cup of tea I walked out of the kitchen to find the main floor busy with the change of shifts happening and the team waiting for me in the briefing room.

"Hey Mac, did SIU go alright?" Ed asked.

"Yeah all good boss, pleased to report that they are still idiots!"

He chuckled and nodded as he passed me a huge cup of coffee from the local coffee shop and a promise of a big bowl of porridge from the bakery down the road where we went for breakfast.

An hour or so later we were leaving the café and I got a message from Shelley who I was keeping in touch with since she had fainted on me while we were shopping a couple of days ago, I told Spike we needed to make a quick detour and a few minutes later we were on the road towards Wordy's house. We pulled up about ten minutes later due to the light traffic and while Wordy and Spike kept the kids occupied, I headed upstairs and was dragged into the bathroom by a really restless Shelley; I got her to sit down and calm down before she over-stressed herself and took out the supplies she had in her bag.

"Shell you need to calm down okay, let's see what happens in a few minutes alright!"

She handed me the other supplies she had organised and after a few seconds I sat down beside her and kept her occupied as we waited, she was a nervous wreck and constantly held my hands – I comforted her the best I could and kept her mind focused on the amazing BBQ we had attended a week or so ago during the heat wave we had.

"What if….I means – four?"

"Then you will have all the support you need from your family and the team!" I replied.

True enough a few minutes later she let me check the results and I showed her the little white stick that I had tested three times with different methods.

"Congratulations, you're definitely pregnant!" I said smiling.

She groaned and burst out in tears as I hugged her and reminded her of all the wonderful things she could do again and how much fun it would be to have another baby in the house – that and a full team of babysitters at her call! She eventually calmed down enough for me to go get Wordy and I left them to talk as I headed downstairs to make sure Spike wasn't misbehaving and had fed the girls – he hadn't yet since they were hyperactive about seeing us and I smiled as I headed to the kitchen. I was in the middle of making pancakes a while later and I felt hands go across my waist and onto my hips that were wiggling to the song on the radio.

"Is Shelley alright, she's been up there with Wordy for a while now!" he inquired.

"Yeah she's alright, they needed to have a little chat – speak of the devils!" I replied as they both came down the stairs.

"You alright buddy; you look like you're going to be sick!" Spike said concerned.

"You didn't tell him?" Wordy asked.

I shook my head and smiled.

"Not my place to say anything guys," I replied gently.

He nodded, looked at Shelley and then burst out in a huge grin.

"Number four!"

Spike looked at him and then me really confused, I pointed to Shell and she rubbed her tummy gently; he clocks the move and then catches on and bursts out laughing and congratulating them both. I got everyone fed as they talked among themselves and cleaned up as I watched the kids dance around the place happily – I think they were expecting another sister, I was hoping Wordy finally got a son.

Spike was still buzzing about being 'uncle' again and was dying for the time when they spilled the beans to the others in the SRU, my guess is that Shell is about four months along and we had organised an emergency appointment at the hospital the next working day that I would attend with her for support since Wordy would be busy with the kids dentist appointments. We were driving along the highway and I was humming along to the radio when Spike squeezed my hand and I looked at him, not really realising that I had zoned out.

"How did SIU go earlier, I know what an idiot that O'Brian and Strachan can be and they are major sticklers to their precious rules of interrogation?"

"Yeah it went fine once they let me have my say and explain the whole situation from start to finish, McCormick took me through everything and would contact me with the verdict next week. Strachan made a comment though that had McCormick barking mad though – I was nearly on the floor laughing!" I replied.

"What did he say?" he asked.

"That my SIU sheet is getting longer than his arm and I am only meant to be used as secondary sniper and should stick to being a medic in the team – that and not become Lane's protégé since Jules excels at everything!"

Spike looked at me and we both burst out laughing at the comments as he parks up outside the house; we managed to calm down doing some chores and then headed to bed and sleep claimed us within minutes of lying down on the mattress.

We headed to work that night in separate cars due to the possibility of me doing a triple shift to cover for a member of team four whose wife was due to have their first baby at any time, we headed inside and separated to get changed for our workouts and so I could also check my work email from the SIU. Nothing yet had come through and I headed to get changed and claim the cycle before Wordy came in and called dibs – seems all of us like the spin class Spike got us into – definitely needed to order a couple more bikes! Speaking of Wordy he eventually came in and I gave him a massive grin as I let my stress go on the pedals, poor bugger was still trying to get his head around the recent news and he came over to me and started his goldfish impression without words.

"Wordy you need to just accept the fact and when Shell and I got to the doctors tomorrow we will have more information for you; I've cleared it with Troy and I'll only have to leave the appointment if we get a call alright – so relax and enjoy the moment!"

He nodded in reply and sat down beside me on the bench press and started his own work out to the now thumping beat coming from the radio.


	14. Chapter 14

It was all quiet tonight and I was in the lab running some evidence checks on blood samples to keep my skills up to date on the most recent advancements on blood borne bacterial transmosis, I had run this experiment twice so far and had conflicting results that annoyed me. I hit the mass spec with the new batch test and set the calibration and timer to send me a message once the results were in before I headed to my office and storage unit to do the weekly stock rotation for the medical kits. It was a solid couple of hour's work that could only be broken by a call or medical emergency so I made sure there were bags ready for the team in case there was a call and rotated the stocks one at a time. The good thing about this brain numbing work was it gave me time to process yesterday's events and deal with any lingering issues I was having, apart from a slightly restless sleep I was alright and had no other issues – I fulfilled my duties and we did everything we could.

"Officer Fraser, you have a call on line two!" a voice called over comms.

I frowned and picked up the phone and greeted whoever was on the other end, it was a friend from Kandahar and they had some news that I would want to know before it was made public knowledge, I sat down on the chair as he started to explain and I closed my eyes as the news sunk in.

An hour later I was waiting at the main gates for an official envoy from the Embassy, it was a beautiful clear night and I saw the car come around the corner and I stood at attention as a senior office stepped out the car and saluted me slowly; he went to the rear of the car and after getting me to sign an official document he lifted out a metal locker and placed it gently at my feet before saluting again. I returned the salute and thanked him, watching him drive off into the night, I looked down at the box and sighed as I lifted it up and walked back towards the barn and into the privacy of my office.

Two men were watching from the garage and one of them had made a move to come to me as the man slowly saluted, the other stopped him and shook his head slowly as they watched what was brought out of the boot and what I signed, they watched me as I carried it inside carefully and the older man turned to the younger.

"Why did you stop me going over?" Ed asked.

"That was a personal moment," Sam replied.

"What do you mean 'personal moment' – she received a metal box from the military?"

Sam turned around to Ed and nodded.

"Yeah and I have received over four of them in my career, all from dead friends."

He walked off leaving Ed to realise that it was the personal effects from a friend or colleague who I had been assigned to receive the locker, he made a move to go back into the barn and find out if I needed anything.

I closed my office door and went back to the table where I had laid the container, I took out the key from the chain and lifted the lid which was heavier than expected and I realised why; I took out the flag and official military documents in the sealed pouch and picked up the photo album, flag and the letters, hundreds of letters all secured into bunches and put into a separate box. There was a clearly new letter written to me in the last few weeks, I couldn't read it now so I put it to one side beside the official paperwork. I secured the other key from the military documents and opened the lid unit – I closed my eyes and breathed.

I was standing on the roof of the barn later on in the morning gathering my thoughts after I had stored and secured the locker into my medical cupboard where no-one would find it, I was thankful for that secure locker where most of the controlled medication was kept and it gave me some privacy if I needed to store things there; the stars were still out in force and it was really cold now, the weather had turned chilly again just after midnight and I was suited and booted in case we got a call and I needed to make my way quickly down into the garage – a few moments later I heard the alarm go off and I took off at a run down the stairs and cleared the weapons locker of my equipment and firearms. The truck was already gone with Spike heading to the location for advanced Intel and Ed pulled me to the side so I could ride with him, he even passed me the keys so I could drive – that was a sign he wanted to talk but keep me busy so I would have to answer him. Winnie was giving us information and passing it to Spike who had just arrived at the location, the boss came on over our radios and he was sounding slightly stressed due to the info gathering.

"Listen up team as this is going to be a busy one tonight if it goes pear shaped. Shots have been fired at a restaurant about an hour ago, three injured and two gun men in play with a possible third which were trying to find out; Ed and Jules you're on sierra, Wordy, Sam and Mac – tactical entry and medical as required. Spike will be uploading details to your PDA's ASAP – the Mayor is inside guys and we need to pull this off without a hitch."

"Copied" we all replied over the radios.

Ed leaned over and muted my headset; I looked at him and frowned as I had no idea why he wanted to talk to me privately?

"What's up Ed?" I inquired gently.

"I'm going to ask you the same question, you getting deliveries at work now?"

I stilled in my seat and glanced at him, how the hell he found out about the car? I checked the area to make sure no-one was there and the car park was empty, even the main floor was empty as I carried the locker in and down to my office.

"A friend delivered some items from home, no big issue Ed, been waiting on them for a while." I replied.

"Didn't know you had a house in Kandahar or that the embassy was a delivery service – do you want to try that answer again?" he replied annoyed.

I snapped my head to him again and glared, I sure as hell was not getting into this conversation moment before going into a high stress situation and dealing with his insistent questions in my head was going to give me a headache.

"Mac what's going on with you tonight?"

"Drop it Ed, not happening!" I replied sharply.

"Sam and I both saw the delivery, we're both just concerned!"

"Ed – take the hint and drop it!" I demanded switching my comms back on.

I continued to drive along the convoy route and I checked through the comms on ETA and status of the injured, so far so good but we all knew that could change at any moment, we finally arrived and we all took up our allocated positions and waited on Jules and Ed to get into a clear position to give us advanced eyes in; I skimmed down the front of the building and planted a couple of micro cameras and listening bugs to give us a heads up on a separate location for secondary containment. Spike confirmed what was going on inside the building and then came to join Parker outside so we could deploy to start a double entry technique to confuse the hostage takers and give us direct access to the hostages. I checked my kit and strapped on my immediate equipment to my vest and legs and cleared with the EMTs to be ready on my order. Three minutes later we entered the building and took the surprised armed men down in spectacular fashion with me and one of them men going through a double glass door and ended up with an arrest for the books. I strapped on his handcuffs and handed him off to the uniform on standby as I headed to the wounded and called for the EMTs to come to the main door to gain entrance.

Five minutes later the last injured was removed to hospital and I was cleaning myself up after pulling out some glass from my arms and upper leg from going through that door and crashing to the floor; I headed back over to where the team was and noticed the Mayor was there talking to everyone. I was introduced and he congratulated me on a nice arrest and was putting me in for an accommodation for the swift aid given to the wounded – I deflected the thanks from myself and passed it on to the team who had trained me and the EMTs who worked with us and never really got any praise. Since no shots had been fired we got to go straight back home after the evidence had been recorded and left in the hands of the SIU guys, all we had to do was go back and write our reports for the official call out details.

After my report had been written and checked in fast order, I got back to doing my stock rotation and was smiling as I heard Wordy and Spike talk about the new delivery due into the family after Wordy had let slip he was due to become a father again; it was great to hear everyone congratulate him as I slipped out to finish my work.


	15. Chapter 15

It was the back of 6am that I was standing on the roof again overlooking the city and waiting on the dawn arriving, I was keeping my emotions deep down as I had another 24 hours to deal with and me turning into a wet puddle on the floor was going to help no-one. I honestly didn't know how to feel at the moment; I was half dead inside, half screaming for revenge – not the best mix for someone like me. I remembered my last conversation with him, how I screamed at him over the phone and made the decision to shut him out of my life after what he attempted to do to my family; we hadn't spoken in months and I know would never get the chance to again. The dawn broke over the horizon and I sent up a small prayer for the new soul, wishing it to rest in peace and keep tabs on us.

"Mackenzie what is going on?" a voice called.

I turned around and saw Sam and Ed standing on the roof behind me, they didn't look happy and they moved towards me as a unit, I sighed and turned to them fully as I sniffed in the cold air and pulled my jacket tighter around me.

"What do you mean guys, just enjoying the sunrise – small things remember?" I replied.

"We saw the locker exchange and I know what that means Mac – who did you lose?" Sam asked gently, keeping full eye contact.

"Not you're concern Sam but thank you for the worry and it's not important." I replied.

He huffed out a breath and looked at me, he was well aware the responsibilities of receiving a locker from a dead friend, the receiver was now executer of the will and that carried a lot of stress in planning and preparation.

"It is our concern Mac, you bit my head off on the road and even thought it hasn't affected your job as far as we can see, it's obviously emotional to lose someone and that is a direct red flag to us all when it comes to you!" Ed replied.

Sam nodded as I took a stronger stance and wiped my eyes.

"The embassy only delivers to family members and those detailed within wills, the box was marked from Afghanistan by the sticker on the side – we only want to help if we can?" Sam replied.

"I am aware of that Braddock, take the hint and leave me alone – I don't need you to go big brother on me at the moment, I was enjoying some time to myself and you're asking all the wrong questions when I don't need interrogated – piss off!" I ordered.

I walked past them and down the emergency stairs at speed to get away from their constant questioning, I swear it was worse than having to go through a SIU investigation – at least they backed off and didn't make house calls if they didn't like the answers. I could hear them call to me and I pulled open the door to take me into the main floor, I skirted the meeting rooms that were occupied and headed down to the weapons range where I could get some privacy for a few minutes without them checking the old snipers perch that was now used as storage. I could hear them look for me in the usual spots and I switched the sound off on my phone and pager – I needed ten minutes to myself to get myself in order again before heading back to work; seems that wasn't going to happen as I heard the lower door open and I had to slid down the wall to get away from them and head back out into the main floor.

"Mac stop, please just talk to us for a moment alright?" a voice called.

"Guys I am fine – leave me alone as I have work to do right now and do not need disturbed by my annoying relatives!" I hissed out through my teeth.

Unfortunately Greg had heard them call on me and had come out to hear what I had said, he frowned and checked his phone that buzzed, he really did frown again and I looked at him as he pulled me into his office as Ed and Sam blocked my exit – this was not going to be pretty!

"Seriously, you're locking me in your office until I talk? Is this the new negotiation method, spy, capture and interrogate – kind of done that before and it sucked for the others!" I hissed out angrily.

Sam had left Ed standing there and had disappeared for a few minutes while I was pacing Greg's office, he could obviously tell that I was pissed off and Ed had text him giving him details of why they were both asking me questions. He eventually turned to me and pushed me into the seat opposite his desk and sat down opposite me on the edge of the desk, I internally rolled my eyes and stiffened my spine against the obvious questions he was going to ask me – always remember my name, rank and serial number – or the periodic table if I got bored. A sharp tap on the glass wall and I snapped my eyes to Sam who was holding a long metal container, I jumped to my feet and slammed my hand against the glass in anger.

"What the hell are you doing Braddock, you had no right!" I yelled.

All three men stood back at my anger being unleashed and looked at each other.

"Mac what the hell is going on?" Parker demanded.

"One of your constables just committed a breach of the law by breaking and entering into my personal locker – evidence in hand and I want him charged!" I replied hissing my anger out.

I think both Sam and Ed both felt my anger coming out like a slow leak in a gas pipe, they both stood back from the glass and checked that I wasn't still armed – I wasn't as I didn't make it a habit to wear my sidearm in the barn when I was in my lab. Parker waved the two men away and I turned around to face him, he was pissed off too now at my response and that told him something was very wrong and it had to do with that box.

"Okay I get that your pissed and seems that they overstepped their mark by pulling that locker out – but this kind of response from you is not a good sign – what the hell is going on and this is an official order!" he demanded.

My whole body instinctively reacted to the word 'official order' and I stiffened into attention, he caught that reaction and he knew it was bad; he invited me to sit down again but I refused knowing that if I did I would end up letting everything out.

"What is in the box Mackenzie?" he demanded calmly.

I looked at the wall past him, he clocked the avoidance and sighed.

"Mackenzie, what is in that box?" he whispered.

I stared at him and clenched my teeth, screw them – if they wanted to know they had to find out themselves!

"Personal effects from a dead colleague, I received the notice earlier last night and the embassy delivered them just after midnight, Ed and Sam have been badgering me about it for hours now and won't leave me alone." I replied.

"May I ask who the effects belong too, I'm taking it a friend or colleague on duty?"

"Boss, It's not something I need to deal with here – please just let this go – this one time!" I whispered clenching my toes and fingers.

He looked at me and shook his head as he saw my eyes tear up, he leaned against the desk and tried to give me a moment to relax.

"No, especially not now – if it was just a friend then you wouldn't have asked me to drop the matter – this was someone closer to you and you need to get this out!" he replied.

"I have duties to perform boss and I am halfway through doing checks on supplies and restocking – not something that I like being interrupted on in case something gets left out – please excuse me but I need to get back to them!" I replied turning to the door.

"I'll get them to drag you back in here by force if I have to Mac, they are obviously concerned enough by your reaction to the news to be checking with the embassy right now through the military network – Sam has contacts and he can find out."

I turned to Parker and glared at him, Sam's contacts were the same as mine and we only used them if we really had to – last time was Dwyer Hill, I took in a deep breath and turned back to my original position and leaned against the wall; it wouldn't end unless I did tell them and then I would be sent home due to bereavement – that is just another kettle of fish to deal with once Spike heard what was going on once he was back from 42nd division from a meeting.

"The belongings were Gabriel's, he was killed ten days ago in an ambush after going after a mark – he was killed in a Humvee attack and died after the truck was hit with an RPG and blew his squad up."

I walked out the room and disappeared down one of the smaller corridors with a stiff spine and a shit load of anger in my stomach that I needed to get out before I ended up throwing up in the middle of the SRU.

Ed walked back into the boss's office after I had left and watched as Parker processed the information, just by his look Ed knew it wasn't good news and had his phone out to contact Spike if needed; Parker just looked at him and he sent an immediate message to him and told him to get back here ASAP.

"I know you had good intentions but I think you did more harm than good tonight buddy, she seriously has to repress some painful feelings because she is at work – and you should have respected that!"

"What the hell is going on with her, we saw the exchange and we were concerned – did you find out more information?" Ed replied.

"Yeah – Gabriel was killed ten days ago, the locker is his!" Parker replied bluntly.

Ed groaned as he recognised the name and sat down on the chair.

"Well done buddy, not your smartest move as her friend!"

Ed looked up at him and nodded as he picked up his phone and called Spike.


	16. Chapter 16

I was back in my original spot in my lab, the others had left me alone as I knew they had been told by the boss and they would respect my privacy unless they saw something wrong; I was also aware that Spike was on his way back after getting a message from 42nd division to say that the meeting had been postponed due to family emergency, the dispatchers were good like that as long as you kept on their good side. The door to the lab opened and I looked up expecting to see Spike come in, I was wrong and it was Ed who was looking like he had beaten himself up a few times with the help of Jules. I sent him a quick smile and went and took out a cooling pad from the fridge and handed it to him to cover his knuckles that I quickly checked and squeezed his hand.

"I was out of line and I am sorry, I know you didn't need to deal with this during work – during any time in your life to be honest."

"You meant well Eddie and I respect that, just trying to get the news into my own brain and it's not happening yet, don't think it will for a few hours yet," I replied.

"Take it has been awhile since having to deal with a loss this big?"

He pulled up the chair beside me and leaned his arms against the table.

"About twenty years, first time sucked and I descended into hell for it – this time round, well I think the devil has a restraining order on me so I'm pretty sure your stuck with me!" I replied smirking.

He looked at me and started to laugh, unfortunately when a member of the team started to laugh it was pretty contagious and always ended up cheering us up no matter the situation, right now though it was enough to break through the walls I had slammed up and half way through the laughing I was crying as Ed held my shoulders as I got some of the stress out of my body that was building up. He had spotted Spike come running down the corridor and nodded to him as he whispered to me to stay there, the men swapped places and I climbed onto Spike's arms and held him tight as he rocked me back and forth.

"You should have called me immediately, I don't care what I am doing – if you need me I am there!" he whispered.

"I know – but I still have a double shift to get through before this should even be happening!" I replied wiping my face.

He just held onto me as I collected myself together again and sat back down on the seat; he handed me the bottle of water and I shook my head as I got off the seat and headed out the lab – he was upset himself as he liked Gabriel and respected him for bring me up like his own. I made my way to the gym and wrapped on my gloves, I needed to punch something hard and get some really repressed emotions out or I would end up being a really cranky cow later on and no-one deserved that. I clicked my neck and started to punch the bag hard, trying to get the rest of the adrenaline out of my system; both Parker and Spike came into the gym and tried to talk to me – I bluntly ignored them as I got in a final punch and snapped part of the bag open.

"Mac, that's enough – stop before you end up hurting yourself! I know you're angry and I sure as hell know you are upset, but this isn't going to help you and we're sending you home with Spike – we have cover coming in that Sam has arranged!" Parker said coming beside me.

I looked up at him as I stretched off my fingers and slumped down on the bench, my hands were shaking and I was sick to my stomach; I nodded to him in agreement and he directed me to the changing rooms to get sorted for going home and he would come and see me tomorrow afternoon before shift. I headed off in the direction of the rooms but turned back, I called on him and he looked around to me.

"Thanks boss."

He nodded and Spike came over to him as I turned back to the room and went and got changed.

We stopped off to get some nursery food from the restaurant down the block from us, I just wanted something really savoury and spicy so he went in and got me a huge portion of macaroni cheese and chilli garlic bread and a big tub of ice cream – I smiled at him as he held up the flavour and we headed off home. There was a missed call from someone, they would need to phone back later on if they wanted to speak to us, I pulled the phone line and went to get out of my clothes and into my PJ's and slippers – screw that we were both tired after a massive shift, we just wanted to hold each other on the couch and watch the news. It was a while after we had eaten our dinner and we were both really tired, the news had sapped both of our strength and we were heading up to bed when my mobile rang, I headed back downstairs and looked at the screen – what was he phoning me for?

"Darren, what's up?"

"Mac, I'm just back in and I heard the news – I'm so sorry – do you know any of the arrangements yet?"

"Thanks D, negative on the arrangements, they haven't sent me any details yet on his TOA – I know they are bringing him to Toronto as requested in his will. Any chance you could find out from the boys up there?" I replied taking a seat.

Spike had come back down the stairs and was leaning against the wall as he listened to the one sided conversation, he could guess at the topic but didn't interfere as I waited on the information; I looked at him and sent him a tired smile which he returned.

"Mac, there is some sort of block on the transport news at the moment, give me till tonight and I'll give you a call – I may be back in the country if we have clear skies – you know how the weather is over here in January!" he replied.

I frowned, why the hell would there be a block on the transport orders?

"Alright D – contact my mobile or come by the barn tonight, I'm on nightshift for the next four okay?" I replied.

He agreed and I wished him luck with his journey home before cutting the call off and taking a deep breath, Spike was looking concerned again; I took his hand and pulled him upstairs – I just wanted him to hold me as we slept.

It was the back of 4pm that the door opened and I was busy in the kitchen baking, Spike had gone for a run with the neighbour's dog we were watching and had left me pottering in the kitchen; I looked over and saw the boss and Sam come in and sniff. The whole house smelled of cinnamon and coriander from the baking and cooking hotpot in the oven, I knew I was expecting guests and made extra's for them.

"Hey guys, I swear your stomachs must know when I'm cooking?" I said smiling.

"Probably because we know when to not bite the hands that feed us, how are you doing?"

I looked at them and nodded, they were just concerned about the news – it was the worst news I had received in a good few months and they just didn't want to see me struggling with any unresolved issues or triggers. Spike and I had talked for a few hours in bed about everything and I felt so much better than yesterday – it would be resolved once I got Gabriel home and resting in his final wishes.

"I'm alright, had a good cry and talk this morning, just waiting on the TOA details – hopefully should have some details by the start of shift tonight," I replied.

"Are you sure you want to work tonight, you have downtime saved if you need it?" the boss asked gently.

I shook my head and smiled as I put the tea pot down on the table beside the mugs and baking, I got them to sit down and joined them once I had put the dishes away; it was actually nice to just sit down and chat for a while but Sam could read me pretty well and knew something was still up – true to his word though he caught my look and kept his mouth shut in front of the boss. I got them all fed back and a while later on a very wet dog and Spike ran into the house and soaked us all as they shook off the downpour they had been caught in; I grabbed the dog towel and sent Spike up for a hot shower as he got slagged off by his team mates. I dried off the dog and sent him in front of the fire with a big chew bone and he wagged his tail happily; I let out a chuckle and went back to the cleaning up after I had seen the guys out with goodies for dinner and more to follow tonight.


	17. Chapter 17

**Eight hours later**

I was kneeling in front of a door placing the eyes and ears on the window pane, it was pitch black inside and I got the word from Spike that the signal was on and he could hear screaming coming from what sounded upstairs. We had been called out to a potential murder/suicide call by a distraught man whose girlfriend had been taken by a jealous ex-boyfriend – just what we needed! Ed and Sam were working their way through the back of the house and had found their entrance blocked, Wordy and I were to make our way through this main entrance and take point on the showdown happening upstairs. We got the signal to go and after picking the lock we made our way around the bottom floor and cleared all the rooms, the bone chilling scream has us making our way to the hidden stairwell in the kitchen and we headed down the stairs to come across the cellar and a very serious problem. Both of us took aim at the man waving his gun about and I let Sam and Ed know where we were and what the situation was as I kept an eye on the woman who was very obviously in the middle of labour. She was looking at me for help as she clutched her belly and breathed through the contractions, I kept a mental count in my head and prayed that we had time before I needed to ask for permission to fire to save the baby and mom.

_'Shit – contractions every three minutes – baby is definitely making an arrival!'_

"Sir, I need to help your friend here, she is obviously in labour and the child and her may need medical assistance, can I help her?" I asked gently.

He glared at me and pointed his weapon at both Wordy and I – seconds later the man was down and I was in front of the woman who had managed to get onto the small bench beside the wall; she was freaking out after seeing the man being shot and her blood pressure was going through the roof.

"Hey you need to stay focused on me alright, stay focused on what I am doing and you and the baby will be fine okay? I need you to take some deep breaths and breathe through the next contraction – I know what I'm doing and helps on the way alright!" I replied to her.

She looked at me and clenched my hands as she was overcome with another powerful contraction, she was obviously a first time mum and I managed to get her on the ground as the men removed the knocked out man from the roof in handcuffs – thankfully Parker had authorised the use of the TDR and it wasn't a lethal shot. She got herself prepared as I asked her and Wordy helped her calm down by supporting her back and letting her lean against him as I did a quick check of how far along she was.

"Boss – how far away are those EMTS?" I demanded as I looked back up.

"At least ten minutes away due to the weather, do you need anything from the trucks?" he replied.

"No I have everything here but I need you to let the 911 centre know it's a possible C-section if anything goes wrong – get Dr Walker on the phone to help if required!" I shouted back.

The woman was trying everything to keep calm but having delivered a few babies in my time I knew the pain must be pretty intense, I started up an IV in her hand as Wordy spoke to her and Spike did a background check for me through her medical files – seems she was due twins but she was at least three weeks early and we were in the middle of a damp cellar which was freezing cold. I stripped off my vest and got the blankets from the bag and threw them over the only heater in the small cellar, I hoped they would heat up enough before the babies arrived or we would be snuggling them against out chests to keep them warm.

"Alright girl, you are doing fantastically – my name's Mac and this is Wordy – we are going to be your flight crew today and we have cameras at the ready! Just keep breathing and relax as much as you can alright – you're all going to be fine!" I whispered checking her progress.

"I am so sorry, he took me because the babies aren't his – he's unstable after we broke up – in mental health care at St. Mike's Hospital."

"Don't worry about him, we'll make sure he gets the proper treatment and help, you just concentrate on the babies and yourself – you're doing so well Sally!" Wordy replied.

She clenched down on his hand hard and whimpered as the next contraction had her waters break and the action start to begin, I got the pads under her and threw on some clean gloves as I ripped open the surgical kit I always had on me and got down to business. She started to push suddenly and the next thing I know is I am nose to nose with baby and the cord is around his neck.

"Sally breath – stop pushing!" I shout.

I managed to get the cord unwound from the babies neck and got her to start pushing again, seconds later the baby was delivered onto a nice warm blanket and I got the cord cut and baby wrapped up nice and tight. I passed her to the new mother and she burst out in tears, Wordy was rubbing her back and grinning like an idiot too.

"She's beautiful Sally, all healthy too with present fingers and toes – the dimples!" I said wiping my eyes on my sleeve.

I could hear the soft cheers of the others in my ear and Wordy was laughing as he filled in Sally to what was being said, she was laughing too and then another burst of water happened – I looked down and saw baby no 2 was ready to be born. I got the second blanket and did the same as before, just giving her extra time to be ready and she pushed on command with no issues and the second baby was born – she was really cute too. I followed the checks and then wrapped the baby up again as I put her to her mother's chest and did another round of checks. She was bleeding gently so I massaged her stomach for uterus to contract and the bleeding stopped, she moved slightly and I heard the sirens of the ambulance in the background.

"Alright, professionals are here – you did so well Sally!" I said smiling.

"Thanks to you both, to you all….." she started and then cried out.

I was beside her in seconds and she gripped her stomach as Wordy grabbed the babies, I knelt in front of her again and did another exam – oh shit!

"Sally, your medical files says twins, you're having another baby!" I said surprised.

She leaned up on the floor and I looked around for another blanket, there wasn't one and this baby was coming fast, the paramedics were coming down the stairs as I ripped off my fleece and delivered the third surprise baby – he was screaming his head off and I was drowned in pee as I laid him on the fleece and cut the cord. I shook my head to clear my eyes and wrapped the baby up tightly and held him to my chest as the paramedics checked the mom and got her into the lumbar chair and secured for transport. She had one of the kids in her arms, Wordy had another and I had the little boy who was a spitting image for the boyfriend who had called in the kidnapping. Sam had come down to grab my gear and secure the crime scene with the SIU who appeared and we followed the EMTs up to the outside world and waiting ambulance. After Sally had been secured, Wordy and I made our way to the ambulance and had to make our way into a secure seat as we needed to hold the babies for safety; the rest of the team had come over to congratulate Sally and I showed them the surprise package that was wrapped up in my fleece – everyone went gooey eyed and I was patted on the back by the EMTs who then closed the door for us to leave.

An hour later, Wordy and I grabbed a lift back to the barn from a patrol car and walked in to find the place empty, we knew something was up and sneaked around the place to see if they were hiding to haze us? We looked around the place and the base floor was empty apart from Winnie who was busy talking to the second team on patrol tonight. We shrugged shoulders and I went to go for a hot shower since I was still covered in new baby pee and Wordy was feeling a little sticky from sitting on the wet floor – we high fived each other and went for our separate changing rooms. It must have been a couple of hours later when the troops arrived back at the barn, Wordy and me were standing there looking slightly miffed as they walked in with boxes full of food while we had just finished the mass of paperwork that needed done for the call out. I looked at Wordy and nodded, we knew we were going to get hazed at some point so we were on standby with revenge for when it happened!

"Hey, there are my two SRU midwives!" Ed called creating hilarity.

"And I see the big bad tough men ran screaming from the room when the real work had to get done? Well done Wordy – you have officially proved you have bigger balls than those two!" I replied.

Sam and Ed just stood there as everyone burst out laughing at their expenses and we both smirked in their direction and headed off to the meeting room and the smell of dinner; they both just looked at each other and then burst out laughing – revenge was sweet!

It was a good thirty minutes later that the dinner was finished and we were sitting in the briefing room chatting and joking about; I was getting ribbed as usual.

"Oh come on Mac, in the near four years you have been here, how many babies have you delivered during a callout?" Sam asked in a fit of giggles.

I rolled my eyes and counted backwards, shit – had it been that many?

"Twelve so far – jeez – can I get a pay rise boss?" I replied to Parker.

"No, but we are all dying to see the pictures – you did take pictures didn't you?" he replied.

Wordy smirked and I brought up the pictures on the laptop and put them up on the board behind me, it was a real funny picture as Sally, Wordy and I each had a baby and the big bad SRU team were smitten with the three babies.

"Happy to say that mother and all three babies are fit and well with no complications – they send their love and thanks – surprise visit to follow once they have rested and settled down!" Wordy added winking.


	18. Chapter 18

The rest of the evening was pretty quiet since we had completed all the paperwork and there were no more callouts to be dealt with at the moment; the weather had taken a massive downturn and the rain was hellish outside – which is why I was surprised to hear I had a visitor at 2am. I headed up to the reception and stopped as I saw Darren talking to Winnie, they looked pretty close and I smirked – about time too! I let them talk for a moment and then headed around to where they were and coughed.

"Hey Darren, you could have just called?" I said giving him a hug.

He picked me up and gave me a massive hug back, being 6,5ft he had the muscles to lift me and Winnie up at the same time – I winked at her and she flushed red.

"Needed to give you this information in person Mac," he whispered.

I looked up to him and nodded as he sat me down on my feet, I got Winnie to keep the main room clear for us and I headed in with Darren at my back pulling out a file; the shutters closed and I turned around with a frown.

"What's going on Darren, why the need to give TOA details in person and not over the phone?" I inquired.

He handed me a military file and I looked down on it, it had a black stamp on the main cover and I looked at it with my blood boiling, I looked up at Darren and he took a deep breath and started to explain the problem.

I was pacing the room furiously at the news I had just received, Darren was not happy himself and he had cursed and swore loudly at the whole mess the MRC was in due to the Internal Investigation into the drugs we had discovered in the lockers being transported. I stopped a few times in my pacing and took a few deep breaths, I tried forming words and then they failed so I went back to my pacing; Darren was just sitting there watching me pace about the place as I got my thoughts in order and got most of the steam out of my system.

"There is nothing we can do for the time being Mac, the MRC have a massive backlog and to get the properly trained staff out there to deal with the clean-up for transport would take 10 weeks, you know this – it's standard protocol due to what he was potentially exposed too!" he replied to another round of cursing.

I looked at him and he held his hands up to ward of the elf darts I was shooting him, I went back to pacing and going over in my mind the protocol for bringing a contaminated unit back from the desert. I went back over my training and mentally packed everything away that the training went over and I hissed out a scream as I kicked the wall and slid down onto my heels in the corner; all I wanted to do was bring him home and get him buried away from the place that took his life, but no; army politics and the UK's inability to run a piss up in a brewery meant that most of their medical units had been returned home – that included the ConMat Unit in Bastion.

"How the hell could they send one of their most vital units home when there are still patients over there that need their help, are they that fucking stupid?" I hissed out.

"From what command told me they were ordered to pull out all UK troops before the deadline, US forces are still there and they were meant to take over the duties but the message was never passed over in proper channels – massive fuck up that, as you can see, has long lasting issues and complications. I'm sorry Mac, it's going to be a long 10 weeks before we can get him back!" he replied.

I got off my ankles again and started pacing the room again, I was going over the protocols for the units I had worked with, trying to get a lead on anything that might help me expedite his release – anything at all?

Outside the room Winnie was watching as the smaller figure paced about the room, she could hear muffled speaking and raised voices which had her cringing at the language that was coming out from both people; she picked up her wireless headset and went through to where the boss was and knocked on the door.

"Winnie, what can I do for you?" he inquired looking up.

"Are you aware that Darren is here to see Mac, they sound like they are arguing in the meeting room?" she replied.

Parker got off his seat and followed Winnie out of his office; he knew I was expecting some information about the delivery of Carrick's remains and he was hoping that it was good news. They both stood outside of the reception and both could see the pacing figure and the raised voices, both flinched at the loud roar coming from the man.

I had paced the room again for a few moments and then I came to the decision that there was only one way I could expedite matters quickly enough to ensure the will was followed to the letter; I turned to Darren and he immediately saw what I was thinking. He stood up and shook his head at me; I frowned and stared at him.

"Not going to happen on my watch Mac – not in a million years!" he hissed.

"It makes perfect sense, we have the training and we can escort!" I replied.

He leaned his hands on the table and leaned forward so he was nearly in my face trying to stare me down, I leaned back into his and never dropped eye contact.

"Not in a million years – get the idea out of your head immediately!" he replied.

"It's the only way Darren and it would take us five days, I can ask for leave and you're due to head out again at the end of the week; we can go early on a scout and return when your patrol is done!" I replied angrily.

"Not in a million fucking years am I taking you over there again, the zone is a death trap and you would be bunking with my team for a full patrol before we collected the remains!"

"I'm not scared of roughing it Darren; I lived over there for nearly eight years and survived a good few rough nights in that area – we need to bring him home!" I replied through my teeth.

"But not at the expense of your safety!" he roared at me.

The shutters opened suddenly and both of us looked at the intruders from the staring competition we were having in the meeting room; the whole gang was there and they were ready to pounce in to stop the fight if they needed too.

"What the hell, when the hell did you two start arguing?" Spike asked surprised.

"Since this idiot won't let me make my own decisions!" I replied leaning up from the table.

"Cool it Mac, and I don't appreciate the remark!" he hissed back.

"Oh big navy Seal wounded by a little bitty comment?" I threw back at him.

"Can it Corporal!" he replied.

I turned around and started to pace the room again in the corner I had started to call my home over the last hour, I was clenching my hands and trying to work out how the hell to get around the obvious denial and comments the team would shout at me once they heard what I wanted to do – what I was going to do if need be!

"Why are you arguing, what's going on?" Parker demanded.

Darren took a quick breath and handed him the folder, Sam spotted it immediately and his shoulders sagged as he looked at me; he instantly knew why we were arguing now and that I was royally pissed at whoever had stamped the file.

"You got to be kidding me, why did they black stamp?" he whispered.

"Because the MOD are fucking idiots who can't run a piss up in a brewery!" I replied.

Sam rolled his eyes and looked at Darren for an answer; everyone else was looking at us all for answers and took a seat as Spike got me to sit down and held me there so we could talk.

"What does the 'black stamp' mean?" Ed inquired looking at the file.

"It means the body of the fallen soldier has been denied transport and is to be burned abroad; mainly they do so if the body has been discovered later than death or there is a chance of major chemical or biological contamination during transport." Sam said gently.

"The MOD screwed up and sent home the main MRC team from Bastion due to the UK pull out; the information wasn't passed to the US who now has to train a team up for active deployment – that takes 10 weeks to do!" Darren replied.

"They won't let Gabriel come home so they are going to cremate him over there and bury the ashes; they won't budge on this unless I can think of a way to stop them from doing so!" I replied.

Sam bowed his head and blew out a deep breath as he heard the news; it was standard protocol since the chance of chemical warfare was a threat to everyone in uniform and we all agreed that the risks were too great and signed the waiver. I felt Spike squeeze my hand under the table and I let my mind wander back to the action plan I was forming to get myself across there – even if I had to reactivate myself.

"Okay, is there anything you can do to help stop the protocol from being activated, do you know anyone who has private clearance to assist in the removal?" Sam asked.

I looked up at him and he caught onto the look that was in my eyes, he glanced over at Darren who was staring at me again and he could feel the shift in the mood of the room; he glanced back at me and I flicked my eyes back to him and slowed my breathing down.

"Oh no fucking way in hell!" he hissed out suddenly, leaning closer to me.

"What?" Wordy said startled.

"No fucking way in hell, get the thought out of your head immediately!" he hissed standing up.

"That's what I have been trying to tell her!" Darren threw into the conversation.

"It makes sense and would only take 5 days, I have that time on my holidays left and it's the only way possible!" I replied hotly.

"And it puts you in direct line of fire for the TOA to happen, not a chance in hell are you going back over there!" he replied angrily.


	19. Chapter 19

Everyone else had caught on to what I was implying and then the argument started around the table with people shouting at me if I was a young child getting scolded; I rolled my eyes at them all – strangely Spike was the silent one as he looked at me. I got off the chair and headed over to the window as Spike followed me and stood beside me looking outside at the thunder storm in full action; he took a deep breath and looked at me.

"What would be the plan?" he whispered gently.

"I would go over with Darren's team, act as a medic for five days and then return with Carrick in under a week baring any issues with the patrol and weather; I've done it before and the weather is good this time of year in the camps," I replied.

"So you would be an active medic and member of a SEAL unit under command of Darren, what happens if you take enemy fire?" he inquired.

"Then we retaliate and kill them, the same rules don't apply over there – it's survival of the quickest trigger finger in the deep desert, I was stationed there for two years with the Commando's and JTF units; it's not an easy place to live but you adapt quickly and as long as you are careful you will survive." I replied looking at him.

I turned around to him and leaned my hip against the wall, he was counting in his head and then nodded; I watched him closely and then realised what he was doing.

"Spike, you do realise what I was going to ask everyone, that I wasn't just going to get up and go back to Afghanistan?" I asked gently.

"Oh I know Mackenzie and I am so proud that you want to do this for Gabriel, but I am terrified now since you seem to be acting brave – or are you still angry and need time to think on this action plan?" he replied.

I looked up at him and smiled gently as I touched his face and sighed.

"You knew getting into a relationship with me that I was screwed up from my tours, and you knew that due to the lack of medical personnel with experience that I could be recalled for active duty again in the near future. Yes I am angry at the politics of the whole thing, and I would like to think over my options overnight, but I owe a debt that I must repay!"

My voice had cracked as I finished my small speech and he pulled me into a hug, the rest of the room had fallen silent as they saw what was going on and everyone but Parker, Sam and Darren cleared the room for a few minutes so we could all talk. I looked up and kissed Spike's cheek quickly as I went back over to the table and took a seat opposite Darren and the boss.

"How can you expect us to take the news that you want to willingly go back into that hell hole on your last remaining holidays and bring back your godfathers remains – don't you think I see the psychology in that one – where I see your head going due to the emotional attachment of you not dealing with his death?" he said gently.

"I fully appreciate what you see and I will take everything you say tonight into account, but as I have just said to Spike, I have a debt to repay and I need to bring him home to deal with everything. When my parents were still alive I remember Gabriel taking me into the woods and showing me nature, how to survive in the wilderness and blend in; he taught me those skills right through my childhood and he was the one who came to my camp, straight from a tour in some god forsaken country, to tell me my parents had been killed – to tell me my brothers and sister were dead because of some drunk in a van had hit them head on. He was at the court the next morning with a petition to take over my care, he was the one who visited me in hospital when I passed out from stress at the funeral as I saw all five members of my family being buried in the ground without a chance for me to say goodbye."

Spike took my hand under the table again and squeezed, giving me focus on something else as my throat closed up and the tears started.

"I understand you see the psychology and I am blessed that you care enough to sit there and try and talk me out of this, but you need to know the reasons why I need to do this, for me, for Gabriel – for everything I hold dear in my life!" I replied.

"Greg, we all know you are the father to these two in front of us, and by god I love her as a sister and so do my team; she has saved all of us at one point in our lives and she is my family – let her finish what she has to say!" Darren whispered.

I looked at Darren and smiled.

"Greg, you and everyone in this building have been my family since I started here at the SRU, you have been through hell with me on the landmine field that is my mind and the firing range markers that is my heart – but meeting you guys have healed some of the old wounds and I will never be able to fully repay that to any of you!"

"You don't have to repay us Mac, look what you have given us in return!" he replied choked.

"During my teenage years I was a mess, bullied, drunk and mixing with the wrong crowds until Gabriel came home one night to find me on the floor unconscious from an overdose and alcohol mix – that is what sparked me to get clean – the sheer terror on his face as he saw me in a coma for a week due to an overdose of ecstasy at the house party I threw. He helped me get clean, he sobered me up by dragging me into the wilderness and we camped for over a month in the middle of Rannoch and he let me scream all I wanted. He taught me to control my anger, to control the confusion I had and gave me a way to let out the steam; he introduced me to people in his squad who taught me skills I thought I would never need, taught me the basics of army life and gave me a purpose. They discovered that I had a skill for first aid and that's where I was the calmest, they nurtured the skill and introduced me to the unit leader in the local TA – he got me started and then after two years I went full time military."

"Where you shined in the field hospitals and developed a hell of a reputation, that's how we found out about her and she was roped into the JTF unit – they needed the best at their game and since she had qualified at 22 with a masters in Chemical and Biological weapons training and had a nursing degree – how could we not accept her. I still remember her first day at the camp; she was shit terrified but walked right into the briefing, introduced herself and then got down to business with the men's medicals. That was the day they found out that you had incredibly good aim with needles and never ribbed you off again!" Sam joked.

"She's bloody lethal with those hat pins!" whispered Darren.

I chuckled slightly and the memories and squeezed Spike's hand, he was shaking slightly and I knew it was nerves; I glanced up at him and blew him a kiss.

"Are you serious about this, you know what it could cost you and Spike?" Parker asked.

"I am, I owe it to Gabriel as he would do no less for me – this is only an option at the moment since we don't have military clearance to do this yet!" I replied.

Darren looked at me and I saw it after a few moments.

"They mentioned this option already haven't they, that's why you fought so hard for me to not get the vote – why you came to the SRU?" I whispered.

"Yeah, we have full clearance – but if we are going to do this we leave tomorrow at 0900hrs from the airport, head to Germany and then to Bastion. Seven day tour Mac and in one of the worst hell holes – worse since your last visit!" he replied.

I looked at Spike and he clenched my hand tight and nodded; I looked at Sam and he nodded and volunteered his services which were accepted by Darren and Spike. I looked at the boss who was leaning back in the chair and staring at his three team mates and Darren.

"You have to keep them safe Darren, I know they can handle themselves in the field, but if shit hits the fan and it's a choice between retrieving the remains and surviving – get them out of there immediately!"

"Understood, I need to make a phone call and get supplies ready for you both – I'll pick you both up from the SRU at 0600hrs, your family can come with you to see you off in the air, after that it will be SAT only!" Darren replied getting up.

I nodded and watched as Darren left the room and headed off to contact his team and command about the decision we had come too, it was a massive one and I looked over to Sam who glanced back over at me and nodded.

"You don't need to come with us Sam, they have my back and you have people that need you over here – the team shouldn't be down two people!"

"I'm going Mac, I know you can handle yourself and the team behind you will be enough support but a little extra crazy won't hurt our chances of getting out there with our tails still attached. That and I think everyone here will be a little happier if I was there to support if needed – he was important to you, your important to us – let's bring him home!" Sam replied.


	20. Chapter 20

Darren came back with a surprise, his team was waiting outside for him and had pre-packed some Bergan bags for us and dragged them in with the units EOD specialist, I stood up to greet him and he gave me a massive hug and nodded to everyone in the room.

"Everything has been arranged for the flight tomorrow at 0900, but you need to be there for a pre-brief at 0700, sixteen hour flight then we hit the desert late at night – do you need us to pick up anything for you – any supplies?" he asked straight faced.

"No thanks MC, I've got everything I need with me and the base supplies everything else I will need – I'll do the usual medical on Sam and me before we leave and bring the documents through for the doctor on range," I replied.

He nodded to everyone and then headed out; Sam was the only one who was aware of which team Darren was the TL for and for that reason we never mentioned names. The boss spoke to Darren for a few minutes to find out where we were getting dropped off and he said that we would be escorted to the RVP and allowed the goodbye before wheels-up; he nodded to everyone and headed off to get his own self ready and we were finally alone.

"Mac, we need to get things moving since we only have four hours now – get yourself prepared and I'll do the same on my side, Jules is going to be pissed!"

"No shit Sherlock – you don't need to come with me…" I replied.

He held up his hand and frowned, I nodded and he headed off to get his own details organised and I was left alone with Spike and the boss; the rest of the crew were trying to find something to do but had been eavesdropping on the conversation – didn't blame them.

"So you and Sam are really going back over?" Wordy asked.

"Yeah, five to seven days and then straight back here – shouldn't be too many issues and we know how to take care of ourselves if it hits the fan; we'll be careful boss!" I replied.

Spike and I left the room and headed into the changing rooms where he grabbed me and held on for dear life, I held onto him twice as hard and soothed him; he was terrified and didn't know why he had agreed to let me go? I leaned into his arms and whispered.

"I love you Michelangelo and I will do everything in my power to keep safe and come back home to you, I swear I won't do anything stupid!"

He held my face between his hands and stared at me straight in the eyes, I blinked and cooled my breathing down as I tried to get him to follow.

"You better keep that promise or I swear to god I will hunt you down myself and kill you again – this is the last time you work in that hell hole – will you resign from the military once you come back so I know you are safe?" he whispered back to me.

I looked at him and nodded, swearing that I would resign my attachment to the reserves.

"There is something else, something I need to do right now?" he whispered.

I looked at him and stepped back slightly as he reached into his combats.

My heart thudded.

He opened his hand.

I looked up at him.

He got on his knee.

"Mackenzie Cameron Fraser, will you do me the honour of being my wife?"

He showed the ring to my finger and I nodded and burst out grinning, he slid it on my finger and pulled me into a bear hug and massive kiss that just never ended – that was a shocker!

We broke apart and he showed me the ring, it was simple gold ring with faint etchings around the edges and a single ruby on the inside of the ring – it was my favourite stone and he had it placed to lay over the vein in my finger to keep it warm.

"Oh god Spike, wow!" I said laughing and crying.

He chuckled and hugged me tightly, what a night this is turning into!

"Do we tell them?" I asked suddenly.

"Your choice?" he replied gently.

I nodded.

The next couple of hours was hectic for everyone since Sam and I had to have medicals, catch up on any inoculations we were missing and get a work out around the false call we had been sent on; we were both exhausted in the morning and at 0500hrs we were summoned to the briefing room for a breakfast meeting. We both walked in after printing out our orders from Darren and walked into the room to find the whole team was there, including Jules and the families. Jules came around to us both and hugged me hard before giving Sam hell for volunteering and then letting me do this. I chuckled as the scene was funny as hell and Sam knew he better survive to come home to her; we all were seated and handed so much food that we would probably air sick later on!

It was a good while later on and I reached my drink on the table when a squeal hit the air, we all froze and looked at Jules – who we have never heard make THAT noise before.

"You alright lass – nearly woke the dead?" I said startled.

She pointed to my hand and I flushed, she looked at Spike and I and gasped.

"Are you two?" she demanded.

Everyone was looking at us, they were slowly kicking into action and we both burst out into shit-eating grins as we nodded.

"Yeah, Spike's making me an honest woman!" I replied flushing.

The whole room erupted in cheers and we were both passed around as congratualtions were given and words of advice – Parker hugged me the longest and made me cry – again!

"Thanks Greg – keep your diary close alright?" I replied.

He winked at me and I cuddled back into Spike as I showed off the ring and let everyone remember their own happy engagements.

We sat there talking for a while and then our alarms went off at 0530hrs, we looked at everyone and headed to get dressed into our combats; Jules came with me and Spike went with Sam. I stripped right down and went for a shower as Jules got my gear out of the bags and laid everything out for me that I would need so I could check everything before repacking it all. I came out ten minutes later with my hair all tied up tightly in a braid and hair sprayed to fuck to make it stick in place under my helmet; she handed me my gear and I pulled on all my clothes and started to lace up my desert boots tightly after sorting the seams on my combats to make everything longer so they fitted under my high sided boots. I pulled on my tank, shirt and then belted everything in under my trousers and snapped on my belt and TAC thigh holster that they had provided for me. I was handed my tags from Jules, she knew I always wore them out of habit, the same with Sam. I turned around and looked through my gear and repacked everything quickly and stocked some of the more personal items into the side units, everything got zipped up and sealed for transport.

"Desert Barbie huh – suits you!" she smiled looking at me.

I looked up at her and smiled before I gave her a massive hug, she returned it and I handed her a letter that I had written to Spike in case the worst happened; I knew Sam would do the same for Jules with Spike. I heard people talking outside and I grabbed my outer Cammo jacket and the Bergan as I headed through the door and found the whole team ready for deployment, Sam arrived beside me and I nodded to him as we put our bags down and waited on the call. A few minutes later it came over the radio and we all made our way down to the garage where the Humvee was waiting for us with Darren, we loaded our kit up in the back and slipped into position as the others loaded into the SUV and followed us to the airport. We were both sending messages via email and text like crazy since we couldn't take our mobiles with us, we were getting fast and furious replies back and well wishes from friends at other stations and from the Chief and Commander who had green lighted our holidays with persuasion from the military intelligence agency. It took us till about 0630 to get to the airport and we left everyone for a short briefing before we were assigned weapons that we signed for and got fitted for our vests and extra gear we would need. Both of us walked out the hanger with our bags across our backs holding our weapons and extra kit bags; they tried not to stare at us but we looked very different from what we normally did at work and they started to feel the truth sinking in about what we were doing.

"Guys, we are going to be fine – keep thinking the positive thoughts for us and we will be home within a week! Once we get to camp we will contact you, Darren has the information you need for the uplink Spike – he will contact you with details on when we can call alright?" Sam said as we stopped to say goodbye.

"I know you guys are scared but we have the best back up in the desert and with our sunny dispositions and witty charm we are definitely safe! I love every single one of you and we will be home soon – so please try and take it a day at a time and remember that we are coming home to you too, so no accidents or injuries or I will be pissed!" I replied.

They all chuckled and we went over to them and gave them all hugs and kisses, or at least I did, and stopped at Spike who was trying to keep it together for me; I grinned and planted a massive kiss on him that had a few eyebrows raised from the rest of Darren's team and catcalls as Sam followed suit with Jules. I took Spike's hands in mine and put them over my heart with a promise to come back in one piece. I blew him the sign of everything being okay as Sam and I walked up the ramp of the plane and disappeared into darkness – ten minutes later we were taking off and I blew out a deep breath.


	21. Chapter 21

**Twenty nine hours later**

We were flying about 50 meters off the desert surface in the Apache assigned to our relocation efforts, it was one hell of bumpy ride due to the weather we were having and all of us were sitting on the floor bouncing around the place getting pelted by the sand coming in from the open doors. My shirt collar was open as wide as possible as I got used to the heat again and enjoyed the stinging breeze the rotors brought to me, I just hoped that my ass would survive the ride as we bounced over another round of turbulence from the downdraft. Darren tapped on my shoulder and pointed to our right, we squinted and could just see the faint outline of the camp based at the bottom of a rocky incline – we were nearly there and everyone was looking thankful as it had been a hellish journey so far.

"Alright ladies listen up! We have just left Green Zone, we are now on our own when it comes to removal tomorrow and we still have a patrol to complete tonight so once we are settled get some sleep! Fraser, you're required in the medical tent first thing to sign off the documents and register your gear – get to bed after that!" Darren shouted over the comms.

"Copied," we all replied.

I was looking outside at the terrain and the bad thing was it felt good to be back here, eight years of my life had been spent in this area with the local people and deployed military staff; I actually did miss it sometimes and that worried me slightly. I held on to the bracket as the chopper swung around to do a turn and we landed just outside of camp and jumped off as we made our way towards the camp under the direction of Darren; Sam ran up behind me and shoulder bumped me as he grinned. We walked into a large tent where the base commander was and saluted to him as he turned around – both Sam and I stopped in our tracks as he faced us fully and he froze as he recognised Sam.

"Officer Braddock – what the hell are you doing here?" he demanded shocked.

He didn't recognise me yet as I was still in full gear and had my helmet, scarf and goggles on from the sand storm coming our way, I was just standing there and my heart was in my throat as I took the man in.

"Sir – what the hell is going on?" Sam whispered.

The Commander was looking at the rest of the team now and his eyes moved to me, I un-wrapped my scarf and pulled off my helmet as I glared at him in total shock.

"Mackenzie, what the hell are you doing over here?" he shouted.

"Coming to collect your fucking remains!" I yelled back suddenly.

The whole tent went silent.

The tent had been cleared of all non-essential staff, only Carrick, Sam and I and the team where in the area and I was single handily creating a new foxhole by pacing around the place blowing out my anger. Sam and Darren were both on a knives edge in case I went thermal at Carrick who was speaking to someone over SATCOM and arranging a transmission to Toronto for us; I had finally managed to stop pacing since my shoulders were protesting the weight of my gear after nearly fourteen hours of wearing the full gear.

"You can put your weapons down soldiers," Carrick called.

"I might still need mine!" I hissed quietly.

Sam heard that comment and pulled me to the side, he was pissed as I was and we needed to find out if this was just another major fuck up or was Carrick still involved in something and we had made a serious error by coming here personally? The XO came out of the tent and called on us to say the transmission was ready, we hadn't even changed and we were both covered in dirt and sand from the walk to the tent – I blew my fringe out the way and headed in with a death glare at Gabriel who kept out of the way of the camera.

A small countdown started and then we saw the whole of the team on the screen, they all looked healthy and no injuries which was a good sight to see; unfortunately we looked like we had went sand surfing with full gear and were majorly armed to the teeth with a full team of SEALS behind us.

"Hey guys, how's the weather in Toronto today?" Sam called.

We heard the laughter over the headsets and we waved at them all and answered a few questions that they had, wondering how our Ops were going – I lunged to my side for a moment and grabbed Gabriel by surprise and pulled him onto the camera LOS – everyone stopped smiling and then the yelling began from every single of them. Sam pulled me to the side and started yelling at me himself, he knew I was hurt and felt betrayed again, but to pull Carrick onto the video link was a major judgment call that could have serious repercussions for everyone involved.

"You need to get this into your head, whatever has happened to land us here today we have to play it out – thankfully that feed is secure and can't be traced back to this location but – why do I bother – you need to let the anger for him go Mac before it gets you killed!"

"Anger doesn't come close to what I feel for that man, and I am perfectly capable of putting my emotions to the side when it comes to it – something I believe you taught me!" I hissed back.

I walked back into the tent and went onto the video link again, Parker and Spike were the only ones there at the moment and they looked relieved to see me back on the screen; I could see the sorrow in them both and I blew out a deep breath.

"Well seems we might be home a little quicker than expected since this idiot is alive – don't even get me started Gabriel!" I said shutting his comment down.

"Is everyone alright over there, no issues or anything?"

"Everyone is fine here Mac, we are more worried about Sam and you – and now the Commander since you found him alive and not blown to smithereens! Do you have any idea what is going on?" Parker replied.

"Not got a clue boss, we all just arrived and then got the surprise, we'll need a couple to get things organised over here and then to deal with any issues – Sam and I are fine, Darren and the team have our backs!" I replied.

"I have them at my Command Sergeant Parker; they won't be put into active service!" Carrick added in.

I shoved an envelope at him and turned back around to the camera.

"As you can see, our resident Zombie is his usual bossy self – give us a 12 window and then we can contact you with details boss – we need to get our heads around this one!" I replied.

He nodded and I clicked the radio link to make the conversation private between me and Spike, I looked at him and smiled.

"Bella – how are you really doing?" he asked me in Italian.

"Angry, betrayed and emotionally screwed – it's going to hurt this one but on the upside I still have that asshole to be pissed about!" I replied.

"I love you, be safe and come home in one piece, that's to both of you!" he replied.

"I'll tell Sam of the bromance, he'll get a kick out of it!" I said laughing.

"Te Amo maestro – ciao!" I called before the screen went blank.

The room had emptied for me and as the video link beeped, Carrick walked back in.

"You weren't meant to come over here, why did you risk your life?" he whispered.

I looked up at him and sat down on the couch as I rubbed my face.

"You are still family, no matter the arguments we had and I wanted to bring you home! They told me that you had been killed in a RPG attack, they sent over your locker and weapon with everything inside it to make it look real!" I replied tiredly.

He paced the room himself and grabbed us both a canteen of water that I downed in seconds, how the hell was I getting my brain around this?

"The embassy dropped of the box, Darren came back from deployment and passed on the message that your remains had been 'black stamped' – due to the MOD fuck up, we came over as medical recovery and came to collect your coffin. But now, I am sitting here in the middle of the god forsaken desert talking to you and I am due to go out on patrol in six hours with Darren – so excuse me Commander but I need to go and rest!"

"What do you mean you are going on patrol with the team – not under my command you aren't young lady!" he shouted.

I turned around to him and snapped into a solid stance.

"Commander while on the field you will properly address me as Corporal Fraser as fitting my rank and not by any other means! Now, please excuse me Sir, but I have to go find a hole somewhere to sleep!" I replied walking out the tent.

He stared after me as I left the tent area and made my way to the medical unit to get some painkillers – this migraine just got ten times worse!


	22. Chapter 22

**Six hours later**

I was sitting in the open air section of the canteen ready for deployment, I was chewing on my first decent breakfast in three days and was hydrating myself as much as possible; my porridge was sticking in my throat though and I eventually had to push it away before it made me sick. The base medic had given me a supply of Domperidon for the violent episode of throwing up he had caught as I walked out of the base camp and crawled up the dune to empty my stomach several times.

"You really need to eat more Mac, it's going to be a brutal patrol!" a voice said gently.

I looked up and saw Sam dressed the same as I was, he must have been just up since he was still pulling on his vest and strapping his gear on, I shrugged my shoulders and passed him a water bottle and some fruit to chew on. He joined me and sighed, he could see the clogs working in my head and he knew I was truly pissed off with Gabriel still being alive – it wasn't something I needed to deal with at the moment.

"You can sit out this patrol, Darren would agree with me – finding out the Commander is still alive has knocked you on your ass!" he whispered.

I looked up at him and shook my head as I stirred my porridge around the bowl.

"I can't leave Darren and the team a man down, a medic at that! I have a feeling that we will be joined by a sniper squad anyhow during the patrol – something I caught the guys talking as we walked into the tent." I replied.

"At the mountain ridge, yeah I heard that conversation too – any ideas?" he replied.

"Not sure, last time I was in this AO there were a small pocket of unfriendly hiding in the mountains about six miles up the road, I was injured before I found out if they had been wiped out or not. It's going to be an interesting patrol anyway!" I replied.

At that point the base medic came back into the tent and nodded to me, he rolled up my sleeve and jammed the syringe into my arm muscle and wiped the blood clean, Sam raised his eyebrows and shoved the water bottle to me.

"What was that? Are you ill?" he hissed.

I shook my head after I drank most of the water and screwed the lid back on, it was just some anti-nausea medication to keep me going over the massive headache I was getting from being in hell again; Sam clocked the look I was sporting when we touched down on the sand and had stayed close throughout the travel times.

"Haven't felt right the last couple of days, bad heartburn and stomach aches – nothing to worry about as I got an all clear before leaving Toronto!"

"You sure there isn't anything – got to ask – any chance your pregnant?"

I snapped my eyes up at him and frowned, the base doctor thought the same thing and was in the middle of the tests getting run, urine was negative, blood took longer.

"Two months late but they checked," I whispered.

He looked at me.

"Your two months late and you're over here – what the fuck where you thinking?" he hisses.

I glare at him, he looks around and no-one has glanced at us.

"What the fuck are you doing across here if there is even a small chance you could be pregnant? You should have said something!" he hisses.

"It's probably just stress Sam, been a hellish couple of months and that knocks the body out of sync sometimes; the blood work will be back in a couple of days once the results come through from back home." I replied.

He ran his fingers through his hair and glared at me, the tent flap swung open and we all stood to attention as Gabriel walked into the tent and signalled for everyone to be seated again, he called to me and I headed over with a sigh.

"Yes Sir?" I inquired following him out of the tent.

He walked around to the empty storage space and turned to face me, he looked pissed off and pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket and waved it in front of my face; I snatched it off him and rolled my eyes as he glared at me.

"Care to explain why THAT landed on my paperwork pile an hour ago?" he hissed.

I opened up the paperwork and saw the lab results – shit.

I looked up at him, he looked at me and his shoulders fell slightly as he saw every emotion go across my face followed by concern, I felt his hands steady my shoulder as I sat down hard on the sand and lay back closing my eyes.

"We need to get you home ASAP, this is no place for you in your condition; I need to inform Darren and Sam – do you want contact with Toronto?" he inquired gently.

I nodded and he shouted on Sam who came running around the tent, apparently he had been keeping tabs on the conversation and was ready to step in if it got out of hand; he looked at us both and Gabriel nodded to him.

"I'm going to organise transport for you both home tonight, get her sorted and then across to medical for a full exam before retrieval, I should have comms up in an hour to the SRU."

Sam nodded and came to kneel down beside me, his hand went onto my shoulder and squeezed gently so I looked up at him and flinched at the face he was making.

"Apparently they rushed the tests," I said quietly.

He looked at me and I passed him the results, I could see his expression as he looked back at me and sat on the sand and squeezed my hand in comfort as I breathed through the news – I knew better – I knew there was something wrong but the tests I did came back negative.

"So you are pregnant, do they know how far?" he whispered.

I opened my hand and he passed me the results again, I looked over the results and noticed the levels of hormones and other indicators of pregnancy; I clenched the paper and lay my hand over my stomach, over my bullet proof vest – over the baby.

"Best guess would be over three months now, my last cycle was January – its now April, oh god Sam – I swear the results came back negative!" I whispered.

Sam helped me up onto my knees and took me by the shoulders as he stared at me in the face, I was going beetroot and officially terrified now – how the hell was I in this mess now – pregnant and in an active combat zone! I started to laugh suddenly and Sam rolled his eyes, he had been through this stage with Jules and let me get it out of my system.

"Okay, those are the silly hormones and the shock, lets get you to the medical tent and then across to comms – seems we have some people to inform!" he says gently.

I blanch – shit – I have to tell Spike – he's gonna freak!

Sam notices the change in my expression and dodges out of the way as I jump to my feet and run to the empty barrel and throw up my breakfast, he rubs my back and taps out the breathing exercises on my arm as I finish retching into the barrel.

"That sucks, how the hell does Jules put up with this?" I ask taking a drink of water.

"Peppermint tea and ginger biscuits, multivitamins and hot baths – it gets better second trimester apparently and then the fun begins!" he replies chuckling.

I look up at him and frown.

"The 'fun begins' is what got me into this mess in the first place!" I hiss.


	23. Chapter 23

He bursts out laughing and nods his head as he hands me an apple as we pass the mess tent and make our way through the grounds to the medical tent, I definitely feel better after emptying my stomach but my pulse rises as I see the CMO waiting for us at the tent entrance with a female nurse.

"Corporal Fraser, follow me please; Master Sergeant Braddock the Commander would like to see you in the comms tent ASAP, this will take a while due to the tests we need to perform." The doctor says curtly.

"It's alright Sam, go see the Commander and I'll meet you back here in an hour alright?" I reply.

He nods and heads off towards the main Command Post and I make my way into the medical unit and wait for the doctor and nurse to close the examination curtain, I strip off my vest and jacket and sit on the stretcher as requested by the doctor and wait with a rapid pulse and quick breaths. He arrives back into the secluded area a few moments later and clicks on his tablet computer and brings up the medical records and new information sheet that the nurse started for him; he doesn't look happy and I swallow.

"Corporal I have been made aware by your uncle that your blood results show you are pregnant, were you aware of the results before you came here?" he demanded.

"No, I was aware that my cycle was two months late but all tests came back negative, the blood results were late due to our departure from Toronto and I thought it was possible stress related to my job back home, it's been a very difficult couple of months for the SRU and the teams." I replied honestly.

He nodded and I let the nurse carry on with her checks of my blood pressure, pulse and other basics for the records, she finally drew some blood and pointed me to the bathroom and handed me a cup, I came back out moments later and passed it to her.

"Just need to double check before we do more intensive tests, are you alright with a male doctor or would you prefer a female medic?" she inquired.

"I'm a qualified nurse myself, if he's embarrassed then he is in the wrong line of work!" I joked.

She looked at me and grinned as she passed me and stuck the pregnancy test into the sample, she squeezed my knee and passed me another bottle of water to keep on drinking and within seconds she was jotting down the results of the results.

"Hmm, I see why this is a surprise, the urine results show a negative result? Sometimes that can happen but the blood results show 150,000u/mls – no wonder you're confused!"

I raise my eyebrows and nod as the doctor comes back in and reads the results, his eyebrows rise too and look at me as he walks back over, he takes a seat on the chair opposite me and hands me the results.

"Okay, we have a couple of options and I would rather be certain than make a mistake or mis-diagnosis; I think we need to do a pelvic and then an ultrasound – are you comfortable with myself and Captain Mitchell doing the tests?" he inquired.

"Whatever needs done Sir," I reply.

He nods and gives a couple of commands and Mitchell heads to grab some stuff as I am handed a blanket and told to strip and try and relax, I nod and finish my water bottle to make things a little easier; lying down on the stretcher I get comfortable as possible and let them get started with the first exam which is over quickly. Mitchell brings the portable ultrasound over and asks me to lift my t-shirt.

"Okay, this is going to be cold, but it's a nice change from the heat outside!" he says.

I chuckle and gasp as the freezing gel hits my skin, he looks at me and chuckles – he so did that on purpose! A few moments later he manoeuvres the probe about and then clicks the control button and nods to the nurse, she smiles and grins.

"That's a very positive result Corporal, say hello to your baby!" she says smiling.

He moves the screen around so I can look at the monitor and gasp, the baby is in full view and big for what they estimate to be four months, possibly closer to five based on my last period and Spike pouncing on me during the run in the woods that stormy night. I look at the screen in amazement and then sheer terror – I am in a fucking warzone and pregnant – how the hell can I keep safe without endangering everyone else?

"Are you alright Corporal, your blood pressure just shot up?" the doctor demanded.

The nurse had cleaned my stomach up and I was about to get up but stopped as the doctor pushed me back down flat, he checked my BP again and pulled on some fresh gloves; I looked at him and he motioned to my stomach and I leaned back with my arm over my eyes and took in a deep breath as he curved his hands around my abdomen.

"Might feel a little nauseous as I press a little harder but I need to know the size of the baby, everything looks good through the ultrasound but I just want to do a manual feel before taking you off active." He says gently.

I nod and he continues to feel across my lower stomach and I feel the oddest sensation as he presses and my eyes pop open, did I just imagine that movement, he looks at me and nods – yeah, that was a faint movement. I look down and then notice the bump that is quite clear between my hip bones, I thought it was just muscle tone and bloating – yeah four months of bloating! The doctor finishes his exam and writes the notes down as I get myself cleaned up and dressed again, he hands me the results and a small container of pills.

"Your folic acid is a little low so I want you to start on these, 5mg once a day and start on some multi-vitamins when you get home and make an appointment with your OB/GYN. I know this is one hell of a shock, but everything looks good; here, Mitchell printed this off for you – something to put in the baby journal."

It's the ultrasound image, I can see the details clearly through my trained eye and I am battling emotions as my eyes water and I lean against the stretcher, the doctor chuckles and passes me a tissue as I laugh at the image.

"Did you want to know what it was, I have the results separate?" he inquires.

I shake my head, the baby is healthy and that's all that matters, I won't find out until Spike asks – oh god – I have to tell him now!

The doctor just manages to pass me a bowl in time.

A little while later I manage to strap my vest back on, albeit a little looser on medical orders and make my way across camp towards the Command tent where Sam and Gabriel are waiting on me, they both look at me as I enter and I smile embarrassed at them and hand Gabriel the official paperwork; he reads it through and pulls me into a massive hug which I willingly go into and decide to forgive him – it hurts not to have him in my life.

He pushes me back slightly and looks down at me with a huge smile on his face, I am beetroot and looking anywhere but his face, Sam is openly laughing at me as I stare at my feet and look ready to get grounded.

"So you're joining the ranks of motherhood?" he says cheerfully.

I look up at him and he chuckles seeing my expression, he's rubbing it in and trying to get me to see the reality of my situation before I break the news to Spike on the video link, Sam turns me around and pulls me into a hug – now I know how Jules feels.

"How do you feel, that's the main thing?" they both inquire.

I step back and shrug my shoulders as I nod.

"I'm good, clean bill of health and I've to load up with the usual vitamins and see my own doctor back home," I replied.

They both nod and they both look eager for information, I know I am blushing again.

"How far along are you, did they do an ultrasound?" Sam inquires.

I nod and pass him the photo, he stares at it with Gabriel and they are both smiling and shocked with the size of the baby, my original guess was around three months but they could tell by the size I was further along than expected, possibly between four and five months.

"Between four and five months they estimate but it could just be a big baby, won't really know until I get a proper check-up back home; do you know our plans?" I replied.

Gabriel and Sam looked at each other and nodded, their body language told me it wasn't going to be good news? I looked about suddenly and wondered where Darren was; I thought he was being informed in change of plans?

"Darren is on patrol at the moment, Intel came about twenty minutes ago and they headed off to deal with an urgent matter, they should be back in a couple of hours," Sam replied to my unspoken question.

"So he isn't aware yet?" I whispered.

They both shook their heads – that was going to be an interesting conversation.

A message came over the radio and we faced the screen as the SATCOM was linked up via Toronto and we were faced by everyone in the SRU, they all looked good and it must be near the end of the shift as I could see Troy's team in the background as they waved at us.

"Hey guys, how's work going for everyone?" we called.

"All good here Mac, everything alright in the sand, Gabriel said there was something you needed to tell us?" Greg called.

I looked at Sam and he nodded.

"We're coming home within the next two days; hopefully we should be able to get a flight out within the next twelve hours straight from Germany to Ontario as long as there are no issues. We do have a complication though, not a bad one, but a hell of a shocker?" Sam explained.

Spike and Greg were the only ones in the room at that moment and I looked at Spike, he was frowning and my stomach turned, I held onto the vest tighter and took a couple of deep breaths; Gabriel was looking at me and then I bolted out of the tent.

"Is Mac alright?" both men demanded.

Sam turned around to the screen and nodded as I came back in a few moments later, he moved aside for a moment and nodded to me; I looked up at the screen and saw the concern across their faces.

"Mackenzie, I knew this was going to be too much for you!" Greg says gently.

I shake my head gently and hold up my hand to get him to stop talking as my stomach flips again, Sam squeezes my shoulder and passes me a bottle of water; I can see both men looking at each other and then it clicks.

"Oh my god, Mac…" Greg says suddenly.

I lose my bottle and run out the tent again with Gabriel hot on my heels, he follows the sound of retching and finds me at the back of the storage with my head in the empty barrel bins that are scattered throughout the camp for rubbish; he rubs my back as I upchuck again and calls for a medic to come to the command tent when they have a spare moment. I finally finish and unzip my vest that just feels too tight now, I hold my stomach as I feel the squirming inside and close my eyes against the alien feeling.

"You alright kiddo?" he asks gently.

I nod and lean back up, just a mixture of the shock, stress and terror of telling Spike about the pregnancy and how he is going to react to the news; I stand up straight and breath a couple of times as Gabriel watches me carefully. I look at him a moment later and smile shyly, it's slightly embarrassing and he's smirking.

"How does it feel?" he inquires gently.

I place my hand on my stomach and I can curve my fingers slightly around the lump, I reach for his hand and put it over my belly button, he waits a moment and then just feels a slight flutter and a rumble; he chuckles and smiles as he feels a harder movement and nods.

"For being in the second trimester you are still not showing a lot, everything definitely alright?" he inquires with a hint of concern.

"Yeah they say that everything is fine, not every woman shows quickly and the doctor thinks that in the next month or so I will probably just balloon out, mom was the same remember with Bryan – she didn't show until six months and it was nearly overnight she doubled in size. Gabe, what the hell am I doing – I don't know how to raise a baby?" I say suddenly.

He takes me by the shoulder and pulls me in for a cuddle, holding me like he did when I was younger and soothing my fears as he squeezed my shoulders and looked me in the eye.

"You have an amazing man in Spike who is going to be delighted at the news, you have people who love you on your team and who are going to be extended aunts and uncles and you have me and Darren – you won't be alone. Now how about you get in there and tell your man he is about to become a father and I will get something for your stomach – anything in particular sound appealing?"

"That apple was good!" I say suddenly.

He nods and pushes me back into the direction of the Comms tent where Sam is trying to hold down the fort as Spike is pacing the room as Greg is trying to calm him down; I glance at him and he nods which tells me Greg is aware but not Spike.

"Mac, are you alright?" Greg demands once he sees me again.

I nod and smile as he gets Spike to stop pacing the room and joins him at the screen, he looks over me and sighs as he sees that I am physically fine.

"Mac, I want you home if you are sick – do they know what's wrong?" he whispers gently.

I nod and I can see him tense up for the news.

"You're going to be a father Spike!" I blurt out.

Greg is biting back a huge smile.

Spike just blinks at me and goes pale; he blinks again and moves slightly.

"What?" he croaks.

I swallow nervously and I can see that Greg is holding onto Spike's arm.

"I hadn't been feeling well the last couple of days and just thought it was stress from the news and coming back over here, but I also haven't had my period in two months – that I checked and all the tests came back negative – didn't tell you as I didn't want to get hopes up again. Well, it's now confirmed and we're going to be parents!" I replied.

Everyone could see the range of emotions going across Spike's face and then his eyes close and I hear Greg shout for help as he passes out, I close my eyes as I hear a thud and go for a seat on the couch as the call cuts out. Sam is chuckling away and Gabriel is receiving some Intel from his staff, Sam manages to stop laughing and comes and joins me on the couch.

"Sorry Mac but that was unexpected, did not take him for the passing out type!"

I glare at him and raise an eyebrow at the comment.

"I distinctly remember Jules telling me about the ultrasound…" I start.


	24. Chapter 24

He raises his hands and immediately bows in my direction – gotcha!

"How do you feel?" he asks as he sees me rub my stomach.

I look down and smile, the news is sinking in and junior is settling again thanks to the apples I smell, he moves his hand and I place it over the best area for movement.

"I love doing this to Jules, the baby tries to break my fingers sometimes!" he whispers.

We both laugh as I get a stronger motion from junior and burp loudly, Sam bursts out laughing and I flush red as Gabriel looks at me and shakes his head.

"Everything alright Commander, or is there an issue?" Sam inquires.

Gabriel looks back at us and sighs.

Both Sam and I stand up as he moves towards us again with the Intel he has just been given from his staff and passes the details to Sam, he frowns and then looks up at Gabriel who is looking concerned and trying to figure things out in his head.

"Guys can you tell me what is going on, your making me nervous and I don't need it at the moment; whatever it is we can work through it!" I ask calmly.

They both look at me and then Sam passes me the Intel document and I start to read through the main points.

_'All flights from Sector 31 are diverted to nearest airport where emergency measures are in place due to threats against allied forces, S31 – Kabul – road access only!' I read to myself._

I look up at both men and realise now why they are frowning, the road to Kabul from here is only forty miles away but its heavily targeted by IEDs, Snipers and Taliban squads, it would be a dangerous crossing even in the convoy and I knew both men wanted me out as quickly and safely as possible. I handed the document folder back to Gabriel and sighed, it was obvious that we were going to have to make the trip along the strip, we would just need to be extra vigilant and prepared for all eventualities.

"Okay so not the best transport news but we can work on the convoy route with the latest Intel and if Darren has been successful taking out the hideout with his unit then they will be heading home too, we'd be well protected with the added manpower and with a little luck in Kabul in under three hours!" I replied staying calm.

"I would have preferred you flying to the secure strip where you first landed and then going home from there," Gabriel said quietly.

I looked up at him and smiled, Sam was watching me closely and I nodded to him, asking him for a few moments alone with my godfather; he nodded and motioned for food, I nodded and he grinned and saluted Gabriel. I took his hand and pulled him to the couch so we could talk.

"What's on your mind Mackenzie?" he asked gently.

"I want to apologise for the way I acted all those months ago, my behaviour was wrong and I don't know why it made me so mad and had me shut you out of my life – I am so sorry Gabriel, I hurt you out of anger and it was wrong of me!" I whisper.

I hear the small intake of sudden breath and the sudden feel of his hands wrapped around mine, it was the same gesture that he always used when he was emotional and wanted my immediate attention when I was recovering in my 'wild years'; I looked up at him and he saw the tears in my eyes and he smiled a slow smile and squeezed my hands gently.

"Oh Mac, you need to understand something and I need you to just listen to what I am going to tell you, I will answer all questions once I am finished – is that fair?"

I nod and he gets me settled on the couch beside him and passes me another bottle of water and apple as he hears my stomach growl, once I am settled and relaxed he starts to explain what was going on at that time.

"That whole visit when I was over to escort Toth was a nightmare for me, something I saw in you had changed for the worst and I didn't know if it was to do with the stresses of the job or something Spike had done to you – you don't share relationship details with me, which I respect, but I was concerned and rightly so. Then, as I explained about why I was over in Canada, I noticed things in your office; the extra workload, the scattered nickel cartridge shell – the magazine for weapons – things I have never seen you read before. You then pass out on me in the lab, you just stand up and then hit the deck, I catch you thinking you were slipping but you were out cold and I shouted for help, Spike and that Sergeant come running and go nuts when he sees you lying unconscious on the floor." He starts.

I nod at him and feel the baby squirm, maybe because I am now aware of the changes in my body I am more in tune with its rhythm and how its changing as the baby moves and grows; I snap back to attention as Gabriel lays his hand on my arm and I smile to show I am listening.

"I stayed and made sure that you were breathing alright, your TL and Sergeant come running along the corridor and let Troy and Spike handle your recovery, you were already starting to show signs of waking up and I wanted answers to what the hell was going on at the SRU and why you reacted so violently the moment you heard and recognised Toth's name and connected it to my trip. They took me into the meeting room and gave us privacy as they explained recent events, of how you went back here to escape from the squad after your blood, how you then had to escape with Sam from Ottawa and saw Nathan alive; then I saw you come in the room, pale as a ghost and being supported by Spike as you centred yourself again and made everyone believe that you were alright! Then the news that you were a trained Sierra, something you swore to me you would never be involved in personally – that scared me the most and I immediately wanted you out of the SRU, back into the role that was originally yours with the GHN. You defied me and refused, that hurt and scared me more than anything, all I saw was bad influences from your friends and your lover – I felt hate towards them and started making enquiries with contacts." He continued.

I squeezed his hand, letting him know that he had been forgiven for being over protective, something I probably needed at the time but was getting from everyone in the SRU in spade loads; they understood me and what I needed.

"I was angry and scared Mac, something I don't like feeling and I wanted you safe, away from the stresses of being in a tactical gun squad and back into the career you started with – saving lives! I was wrong to do it but I went behind everyone's back and acted irrationally and unprofessionally, I put you in a tight spot – chose me or those in the SRU – I tried to punish Sergeant Parker for taking you away from me and making you into a lethal tool in his squad of children – I didn't see how much he meant to you, how much of a father he had become for you and Spike. I nearly destroyed you Mackenzie and that is something I could never live with myself, I could have torn you away from that amazing man of yours, the one who has done nothing but support and love you as you battled your demons and won – the man who is the father of your child!" he continued, tears in his eyes and voice.

I looked up at him, my own tears falling down my face as his hand lay on my stomach as he finished his speech, it had meant so much to him to have me out of danger and now he was going through hell again as I came over to rescue his remains and bring him home – something he didn't think I would do due to the location of this camp.

"Gabriel…." I choked hoarsely.

He squeezed my hand tighter and I kept quiet like he asked me too, it was difficult because all I wanted to do was comfort him; he smiled at me and took my other hand in his before he continued and explained further.

"I hurt you deeply and I swear to the almighty himself I did not mean to be so arrogant, I was just terrified of you sliding back into that dark place, of losing you and watching you give up on life. That was my greatest fear and I found out the news about the drinking in the smoke house, the PTS flashbacks after the bank robbery, the hypothermia and exhaustion you survived – all supported by Spike and the others. I then burn you the worst with the news of my 'death', I thought to give you peace and I brought you into danger instead, and at the worst time too – by god if something had happened to you on the way over I would have never survived the news – I want you home in 36 hours – I want you safe and sound, surrounded by your team and friends so they can keep you and the baby safe!"

I burst into tears at his confession and was pulled into a strong cuddle as he stood us up and he pulled me closer to his chest as I cried, his actions where wrong all those months ago and he seriously hurt me with his actions and trying to rip me away from everyone; but I learned to forgive him as I said goodbye to him on the rooftop at dawn after hearing the news of his death – seems that was a little premature! I sniffed and laughed a little, as I felt him shake and rest his cheek on my head as he held me close, it was soothing and relaxing us all. I moved back slightly and dried my eyes on my sleeves, trying to remain professional in case someone walked in and wondered what the hell was going on?

"I understand why you did it and when I heard about your death and received the locker from the embassy, I stood up on the roof at the SRU and prayed, I forgave you Gabriel – I prayed and I forgave you because you were only looking out for me as you always have. I want you back in my life, in our lives; Spike misses you too and is probably confused to what the hell was going on but he will understand when we explain it to him." I said gently.

"It will be painful to hear, I know he has lost friends violently while on duty and then going through this and supporting you as you grieved probably brought up a world of pain; I owe everyone an apology and I want to talk to everyone as a group and individually so they can get their own feelings out," he replied.

I nodded and laughed gently, that would be an interesting conversation especially with my team and Darren who I knew was livid about him lying and putting Sam and I in jeopardy on a false medical rescue. We both turned as we heard our names being called and Sam walked back in, he had given us thirty minutes and came back bearing some lunch for us all and also a visitor from the medical unit; we both stood up and I was directed to the chair by the table to get a small BP check done and some anti-emetic help.


	25. Chapter 25

A few minutes later another visitor arrived and we all grinned as Darren walked into the tent and clocked us all immediately in the corner of the room as the medic cleaned up the mess and headed out the tent with my thanks; he frowned and nodded to the Commander as he drank the bottle of water Sam passed him and started to strip off his TAC gear and weapons to ease up his shoulders.

"Report Commander?" Gabriel asked quietly.

"Neutralized Sir," he replied.

Gabriel nodded and motioned for him to hit the couch and rest up for a little bit, Sam passed me the bag of apples and crackers and passed Darren the MRE box which he opened with glee and started to heat up the bags as he added the water; the smell was making me nauseous, must be fried breakfast in the pack he had chosen? My stomach rolled and I leaned my head on the table and groaned quietly, Sam looked over at me and chuckled as he passed me the water and rubbed my shoulders.

"You feeling alright Mac, you didn't look well on the trip over here this morning!" Darren asks.

I raise my thumb at him and I can hear him munch into his meal, I plug my nose and chew on an apple which helps settle my stomach, typical healthy baby, why couldn't I have a craving for vanilla ice cream and sweet chilli syrup and cherries? I looked up and wondered where the hell that came from? Sam looked down at me concerned and raised an eyebrow.

"You alright, you went spaced out for a moment?" he inquired gently.

"Vanilla ice cream with sweet chilli sauce and cherries?" I whispered.

He looked down at me and then burst out laughing, startling both of the other men in the tent and making me join him as he realised what I was talking about; Gabriel walked over and raised an eyebrow so I told him and he joined in and sat on the other chair. By this time Darren must have thought we had caught the sun and fried our brains since we were laughing at nothing and he was becoming paranoid.

"Am I missing a universal joke here?" he inquired moving towards us.

I managed to stop laughing and calm down again, I still had to tell Darren the news so he could help prepare the convoy route and requirements and protection details once we were ready to go; the two other men nodded and they moved away from us so I could let him know what was going on and why we were acting like kids.

"My medical test results came back with a very surprising result, let's just say it took us all by shock and we are due to leave here by midnight tonight and be airborne by 0100hrs." I started to explain.

"Are you sick, did the results show illness or infection?" he demanded going into protective mode again.

I shook my head and smiled, he was looking at me and then a wave of understanding went across his face as his eyes roamed across my body checking for signs of illness or infection he thought I had picked up during transport. His eyes snapped up to mine and he was doing a great goldfish impression as his brain processed the facts his eyes had clearly seen and he was trying to get his brain to kick in so he could speak.

"YOU'RE PREGNANT?" he demanded.

I nodded and flinched at the same time as I saw his facial expression go from shock to anger back to shock, it was quite a picture and I was half ready to hide – you don't piss off a navy seal and expect to survive with all your limbs attached. He paced the tent for a moment as I sat back on the desk trying to get comfortable; I really was noticing the small aches and pains now that the doctor warned me about – seems those tests were a little more thorough than first thought?

"Scarlatti knocked you up and then allowed you to come across to an active combat zone?" he half shouted.

"Darren calm down!" Gabriel shouted.

The men just looked at each other and Darren went back to his pacing as I held back stupid tears, I knew he was just shocked but that was a low blow about Spike; I let it go through, he had just come back from a show down with a small faction of enemy and his adrenaline would be sky high, he needed to relax and calm down before I told him any more news. Sam and Gabriel sensed the same thing and Sam took Darren to the mess tent and armoury while Gabriel stayed with me and helped me up.

"That sucked!" I whispered.

Gabriel nodded but chuckled.

"He's always been protective of you since I introduced you both all those years ago at Skapa, he's only six years older than you and I always thought there was a spark between you both – apparently he is very happy with someone though, any ideas who?" he inquired.

I nodded and grinned.

"Winnie Camden our dispatcher who works with us, they were introduced on the day he turned up to help me qualify the team as divers; they hit it off and look pretty serious. He contacts me through channels if he is called away and I pass messages to Winnie and give her news if needed – they make a good match!" I replied.

Gabriel nodded and smiled as I stretched my back and yawned.

I took a couple of steps forward to go get my bottle of water from beside the couch and the next thing I know is I am looking up at the tents roof and a concerned Gabriel who is radioing for medical help in his office, I look up at him and try and figure out why I am lying on the ground with my legs propped up? He moves and I feel him press his fingers into my wrist and start to count my pulse; I look up and see two medics run into the tent and kneel down beside me as Gabriel tells them what happened – I know the minute that he tells them I am pregnant and how far along, the look on their faces tells me everything. One medic checks my vitals and does a blood glucose check while the other hooks up some oxygen as he notices the o2 stats are in the eighties and looks for the BP numbers.

"Has she had something to eat and drink?" the medic asks.

"Yes but she has been sick a few times today and has rehydrated as much as possible after the doctor checked her out – what's going on with her?" Gabriel demanded.

"Her o2 stats are lower than liked and her BP is low, looks like she is dehydrated and being pregnant in this environment and heat is not helping, especially being so far advanced in her pregnancy! We need to get her to the hospital tent for observation and fluids!" he replied.

Ten minutes later I was being brought into the hospital unit again and Captain Mitchell immediately got to business and started to strip me of my gear and clothes, leaving me only in my underwear; she helped me into scrub bottoms due to the elastic waist and a thin cotton tank top – she noticed the red skin at the back of my neck and realised that I was suffering from heat exhaustion due to the hormonal flushes and the 50 degree weather outside – there was little wind today so the heat just built up and caused me to pass out quickly and suddenly. She noticed I was a little more lucid now since they had started an IV of fluids wide open for me, she smiled as I blinked a couple of times and then realised where I was. She calmed me immediately and I took in my surroundings and closed my eyes for a moment to make an internal checklist.

"Corporal Fraser, how are you feeling now?" she inquired gently.

"Lousy, it happened so quickly and I was on the ground before I knew it!" I replied.

She nodded and wrapped the ECG leads off the unit and stuck them onto my chest before raising my feet again and covering me with a cooling blanket that felt wonderful.

"Your blood pressure bottomed out due to heat exhaustion, we have you on a Isotonic IV wide open and some Stemetil that should take the edge off the queasiness, we just need to get your temperature down and then you should start feeling like a normal human being again and not a baked potato! The baby is fine before you ask, we have you on a monitor so don't roll onto your side or you'll pop it out of place!"

I smiled at the joke and nodded as I leaned back and relaxed under the cooling sheet, it bubbled slightly due to the water being circulated through it but it worked wonders and I was thankful for it being there; a sharp tap on the table had Mitchell head over to the divider and a voice called to me, I nodded for him to be allowed in. Darren walked over to me and looked down as I lay on the stretcher, he was worried and had ran from the mess tent when he heard the gossip about a pregnant female soldier being taken to the medical tent – of course the rumours were already around – my day was getting better. He took my hand and soothed my hair out of my face and leaned in to kiss my forehead, he had been for those impressive three minute navy showers and must have been eating garlic as his breath was howling.

"How do you feel, do you need anything – either of you?" he whispered.

I shook my head and patted my stomach under the blanket, he nodded and sat on the chair beside me as he checked the BP monitor and heard the faint beep of the foetal heartbeat that was going loud and proud. I knew he had questions and I poked him in the side and raised an eyebrow, we were always honest – it was the best policy.

"Did you know before you came across?" he whispered quickly.

I shook my head and mouthed that I didn't.

"No, I was two months late but the tests were negative, urine test was negative earlier on too and they had to do the blood and ultrasound to confirm the results, one hell of a shocker as I thought it was just stress induced." I replied.

"How far along are you?" he whispered.

I looked down at my small bump and breathed as I felt the baby somersault slightly.

"Between four and five months, can't be more than that and they need me home to get a more accurate reading," I replied.

He looked shocked and slightly horrified, he pressed gently on my stomach and only felt the tiny bump and a look of sheer panic went across his face – I think he was expecting a huge bump for how far along I was – typical male not realising that everyone is different.

"Everything looks really good Darren, the way the baby is inside me is nearly vertical so I don't show much, that will change though as I progress – they expect me to have expanded by next week since they develop fast in the second trimester."

He blew out a breath and I put his hand over my belly button and told him to curve his hand slightly, a few moments later he got an almighty kick and he laughed.

"That's the Scottish half there, do you know what you are having – is it more than one?" he asks suddenly.

I shake my head.

"Only one and I didn't want to know yet," I replied honestly.

He chuckled as he got another swift kick and I saw his fingers move from the force of the kick, I wished Spike to be here – I wanted home! Darren noticed my eyes tearing up and squeezed my hand and planted another kiss onto my cheek.

"I've got a meeting with Gabriel in twenty minutes and we are going to get you home, we are all flying back to Toronto together, Gabriel can get us to Kabul and then head back via chopper once the orders are lifted. Sam is outside; he's worried and will stay with you until I am back alright?"

I nod and he kisses me on the cheek and heads away, passing company duty to Sam who comes in and shakes his head at the state of me.


End file.
